Babiesss

[JJR17]

I'm currently pregnant with mine&my boyfriend's first child, and we have obviously been talking a lot about the future. The question about future babies was asked and he said he only ever wanted one... I am from a big family and would love a (sort of) family of my own, but he is absolutely 100% sure that he only wants one and it breaks my heart:( anyone have any suggestions? I understand I can't force him into wanting or having more children in the future..

I would suggest that you leave worrying about it until after you’ve had this baby.

Yes, it’s a worry not being on the same page right now, but there’s simply no way of knowing how you’ll feel once you’re caring for an actual baby.

It might be that you find being a mother more challenging than you expect, and actually you’re happy with one. Your boyfriend might love being a dad and want to have as many children as possible with you. There’s just no way of knowing.

See how it goes with this one, and have the discussion a little further down the line.

Congratulations and good luck with your pregnancy :)

I'm a very stressy person and I like to have things set out in front of me a lot of the time when it comes to my relationship😂 thank you so much for your reply and support:)x

Over time people change their minds on things too. 10 years ago my then-boyfriend (now DH) said he only ever wanted 1. After a long discussion he said more than 1 was fine, so long as I “didn’t want an army”! (I always wanted 2, 2 is not an army ).

It ended up taking us 2 difficult years to get pregnant with this 1 so right now we are so grateful we are both just enjoying this experience as if it may be the only time we do it. Too many people think they can have exactly what they want (X number of children at Y years apart) but Mother Nature doesn’t work that way.

Absolutely. I'm definitely prepared for this to be the only time, it's just because we are young and it was an unplanned pregnancy so there were lots of mixed emotions when we found out. I would just love one day to try for a baby and be nothing but happy when we find out x

Did you not have this discussion before deciding to have a family? DH and I discussed it really early on in our relationship and were quite different in views so then discussed it again when things were getting serious.

On the other hand, you don't know how either of you will feel once this one arrives.

Be prepared to have to make a decision about keeping your partner or having more kids though. It was an ultimatum I gave DH (I'm one and done, though unhappily pregnant with DC2 at the moment).

Well it was an unexpected pregnancy and we are both young so it would have been strange to talk about how many children we want:/ we didn't decide to start a family we just got pregnant against all odds and I knew I wanted to keep the baby.
I'm so sorry you're unhappily pregnant:( hope things work out for you x

we just got pregnant against all odds

You weren’t having sex? But got pregnant?

I was on the pill and we were using condoms. So I wasn't having unprotected sex, thank you:)

Well that’s not against all odds at all. Surely you know that nothing is 100% effective? If you’re having sex then you need to be grown up enough to be having the “what if” conversation.

Anyway. You don’t need to know how many kids you'll Have right now. Have your first one and see how you both feel after a year or two.

Honestly I would just focus on getting this baby here safely for now.

Your boyfriend may or may not change his mind, plenty of people do especially once they experience what being a parent feels like but only time will tell. If he doesn’t change his mind then the options are accept it or leave and find someone that wants more dc.

Without a crystal ball nobody knows what the future holds

We had that conversation. Hence why we've decided to have the baby. Thanks for your input.