You’re brave / that was quick / you’re going to have your hands full...

[lifeisfullofsurprises]

We’ve found out recently that I’m pregnant with DC3. Although a huge surprise we are very happy, a third child was always something we have discussed.

DC2 will be 16 months when DC3 arrives, so quite a small age gap. I have my own worries about this but I know we are going to get all the “wow, that was quick”, “you’re going to have your hands full” etc comments and I want to have my own go to positive ‘comeback’. We are so happy and have experienced loss so this is very special to us, what are you’re go to phrases?!

Also any tips on the transition from two to three would be great! I found having my first way harder than the transition to two.

Yes, we're so lucky.

Yep, can't wait!

Yikes, I know!

People are only usually making small talk and it's one of those stock responses. Don't take it to heart or dwell on it.

My friend had her second one year before her first and when she announced it she said 'we don't hang about in this house, can't wait for the second one!' to nip any negative comments in the bud. I'm pregnant with my first but so many stupid cliché phrases have irritated me so much!

Thank you both! I know I shouldn’t take it to heart but there will be some family members that will have an opinion and it is upsetting. I like the comment to nip it in the bud straight away 👍🏼

Congratulations!

I don’t have any advice but am following with interest as we have 21m between DC1 and 2 and will have 23m between DC2 and DC3. Eek! Like you I found going from 0 to 1 infinitely harder than 1 to 2.

On the whole people have been more positive than I anticipated, so perhaps you’ll be pleasantly surprised? The reaction from my MiL wasn’t great though. I’m 31w now and still seething!

Agree with the short responses like
“Can’t wait”
“I’m really excited”

to make it clear that you are happy with your decision.

When I announced my third pregnancy (age gap is 6 and 2 years) it’s anazing that the answers went more like “whaaat?! You’re bonkers! Oh, I mean congratulations!”

I’ve just had my second baby (4 weeks old!) and DC1 turned one 2 weeks ago, so less than a year between them. Many such comments have been made but I try to take them in good humour even though some are bordering on rude! My response is generally that at least we will get the difficult baby stage done and dusted in one fell swoop

People will always have something to say. I'm having baby number 4 and someone said "haven't they got a TV" also my 4th boy and "oh never mind" it is rude but people always seem to make these kind of comments.

Congratulations. Xx

Congratulations. I had 12 months between dc1 & dc2 and got the " you should try watching tv at night" from a stranger in Sainsburys, always getting the "you've got you hands full" or "how do you cope" comments. They drive me bonkers, but shrug and smile sweetly. It got worse for dc3, now pregnant with dc4 all going well will have 4 under 5 so dreading people's opinions.

My DD1 will be 15 months when DD2 arrives and I've had nothing but these sorts of comments..

"Was it an accident"
"Wow, it's going to be really tough"

And the most offence.. "You're having Irish twins"

We actually planned to have two close together, lol!

No need for drama. Nobody is trying to get at you.

(And I say this as someone with 4 under 5).

Thank you all so much for your comments, I really appreciate them all. I hope most people have good intentions at heart when they say stuff like you’ve all mentioned.

I had a massive wobble last night, major worries on how am I going to cope mentally and physically (3rd c section and two very close together). There are days when two is a struggle and I’ll have a newborn, toddler and a 4 year old (DC is very helpful and amazing but still!).

@hideandgo I suffer from anxiety and so just want to be one step ahead and make sure I am prepared for such comments (usually from my drama queen on a sibling!).

my dc2 is 1 on Friday and I am due to have dc3 halloween so I get all those comments. Mine was equally unplanned and still hasnt sunk in at 8 months pregnant. I just say "yes I thought we may as well get all the sleepless nights out of the way in 1 go" and people usually agree. or laugh along with them and say "fun you mean?" like someone else said its mainly just small talk. I am finishing next week, just over 2 weeks before due and my deputy head enjoyed telling me her colleague at her other school was still soldiering on with only 8 days til she is due. I thought well done to her, but my department suggested it may have just been small talk. 😂 I think us preggos take things to heart a bit more than others! Congratulations anyway, you're going to have your hands full 😝

Be proud! It’s an achievement not a negative:)

Just under 26 months between my 2 and I still had comments like this!

There is 10 months between my sister and I. 40 years on, when people hear, they still say "did your parents not have a telly?" I just say, yes but nothing good was on. There's a few years age gap between my 2 and I get equal amounts of daft comments. Shrug and move on. Most of these people you'll never see again and I think people are just perplexed over what to say.

I've got 13 months between my two. I usually solemnly informed people that breastfeeding is not an effective contraceptive.

I've got three boys, 4, 2 and 7 weeks. People constantly comment about how I've got my hands full but I've not found going from 2-3 any harder. It probably helps that my eldest has just started school though. I just smile at the comments, 3 boys under 5 seems to stress other people out way more than it does me!

As in me having 3 boys stresses other people out more than me

My partner is one of 5 who were at one point all under 6. His mother had 3 boys and then twins, one of which was a girl. She would get comments like 'what would you have done if both twins were boys?' and said 'then I would of had 5 boys!' She had stupid questions and comments that nearly 30 years later still annoy her. I don't think people mean anything by the comments or realise how irritating they can actually be!

“Yes, our TV was broken” .

I always resented the “blimey, didn’t you have a TV?!” remarks.

I dont have advice as such as i am only on baby number 1 BUT i can say firstly everybody has an opinion on everything when it comes to pregnancy, whether it be the gap between children, names, bump size, birth style, feeding plans etc... its so annoying but for some reasons its just one of them things you cant control (as much as you/I/We would like to)

Secondly my brother had 3 children 4 and under ... and yes all my SIL got was "god you didnt hang around" "wow your hands are going to be full" ... she put a post out saying "if you think our hands are full, you should see our hearts baby number 3 has taken us by surprise but we feel feel so lucky, what an amazing adventure - bring on the ciaos"

They had 2 boys of 3 & 1 when there baby girl arrived and honestly she said there were times when she didnt have enough hands or eyes of course, but generally once baby started reacting to the boys they turned into 3 best friends although baby is the boss (like any house hold there are disagreements and hecticness but thats with 1,2,3 or 10 kids) ... so dont worry. Also there 2nd was potty trained within a week, he was so ready to be the big brother and wear big boy pants etc and was alot younger than there first so she wasn't changing 2 nappies for a long time which i think is probably the hardest part for her.

They are now 5, 3 & 2 and are all fab!! My brother and SIL have a more laid back approach to parenting now because they said it would have made it harder for themselves if they didnt, and the kiddies are happy and healthy!

Good luck and congratulations!!

Congratulations!

My Sister has 3 under 3, and I think it's wonderful. Not something I would do, but they're going to grow up so close!

The responses above are all brilliant, good luck with your pregnancy :)

My friend had her second one year before her first - that's a neat trick

I had 13mo between ours and it was fine. I mean, horrible for the first 6 months, but now fine!!