Tips for managing pregnancy and toddler?!

[Skylucy]

I'm 36 weeks today and suddenly very uncomfortable...and exhausted! Unfortunately I'm "on duty" 24/7 with my very lively 19 month-old DD. Mornings aren't so bad - I've generally got the energy to get up, get her dressed/fed/watered, play, go to a class, get her down for a nap...but by 3pm I'm in bits! DH is out of the house 12 hours a day (and I make dinner when he's back). DD doesn't go to bed until 9.30 - 10pm, so we don't really have an evening... basically, I'm looking for tips on how to stay rested (and sane) for the next month when I don't have a break from my lovely daughter! I'm trying not to rely on TV for the odd period of downtime but it's hard...any advice gratefully received!

I basically lived in the bath. We would go in together and it eased my SPD pain and kept toddler entertained. Getting out was always interesting...

Ha that's a great idea @Waitingonasmiley42! I bloomin' love baths but don't take them because DD runs rogue. Didn't you have to have them quite cold though, with a littl'un in too? (And how big was your bath?!)

Tv
Fresh air
Tv
crayons -just make sure you round them all up and hid them otherwise you'll get some new wall art
Tv
Puzzles, peg boards, have a look at Mellisa and Doug latches board and big beads that can thread onto a shoelace. Anything that can occupy whilst you sit on the sofa.
Have I mentioned tv? I've resigned myself that for the last bit of pregnancy and the first bit of having a newborn that my toddler is going to be watching more tv than I'd ideally like. But I too have a dh who is out of the house during the week and I can't run myself into the ground.

Yeah I’m another who says give yourself permission for a bit extra tv. I shared your desire not to but it was the thing I turned to when I was a wreck like you say. Just lying down for an hr when feeling like that helped me cope. And now baby is just born she’s barely watched tv since with all the visitors etc fussing, it’s not become a big expectation. Don’t know how old your toddler is but DD had just started getting into watching movies so we’d tuck into bed together and watch on laptop and I’d shut my eyes a bit whilst answering her millions of questions about the film!

Oh sorry just reread, 19 mo, maybe a bit young for that concentration. But I’m sure could do an hr of tv here and there!

Can dd go to bed earlier? My just turned 2 year old goes to bed at 7 and I'm on my knees by then, I need a couple of hours of free time before ending up in bed myself (34 weeks here and as you can see the insomnia is full force!) I know all children are different but if you can get that bedtime earlier I think it'd help a lot. I'd definitely recommend to keep her in her cot as long as possible rather than a bed as I know that current pregnant friends have made the move in order to not make any changes when the new baby comes and they are getting next to no sleep with having to get their dc's to sleep at night and then being disturbed multiple times overnight by toddlers climbing into their beds.

Are you able to have a nap when she does in the day? I'm not always able to get to sleep but at least if I can lay down and do nothing for an hour or so I feel a bit more rested.

...Hey Duggee, my dd asks for it constantly and as I've been getting more and more tired I've been watching more and more
of it! It's not going to do her any harm and I'm a better mum to her if I can get some rest.

'Days/mornings off' can your partner take dd one morning over a weekend on a daddy day? My OH took my daughter on our local heritage train line this past weekend and I stayed in bed til 1 just resting, I felt so much better after that.

39 weeks pregnant with pgp and sciatica here and also have a toddler, although mine is about 6 months older than yours. I also have a 6 year old so have the school run too. It's relentless I won't lie (and I usually go very overdue too).

My toddler is currently taking ages to fall asleep at night because she isn't burning enough energy in the day. DH takes her to the park when he can and I've been popping her in the garden while I sit on a chair as much as possible, but she often wants me to join in with outdoor games so not always possible. She's colouring and playing with Playdough a lot at the moment. She's pretty into free play as well as we spend a lot of time with her passing me things and me passing them back. She's napping about 2 hours a day at the moment, which is more than she needs, but I need the rest. She's also watching a fair amount of TV, which sucks, but sometimes it's what I need to do. My personal line with this is to try other things first and use it as a last resort but if that means 2 hours of TV then so be it. I have to look after myself too. I've been having quite a few visitors because that gives her a change of scenery and people are happy to play with her too, so that helps.

I have done a bit of cooking with her too, just making cakes, but 19 months might be on the young side. If you're making cakes at all then you could give her a bowl and spoon and sit her at a little table and let her stir. Do you have any toddler groups close by? They're not really my cup of tea but I've found one close by and go once a week and they have been brilliant - tea and cake for me and a snack for her and a safe space to play and run around with other children.

Just remember it won't last forever and pretty soon you'll have a whole new set of obstacles to deal with!

Thanks everyone. We do four/five classes a week but they're all in the morning...it's the afternoons I struggle in, when we've got no plans and my energy plummets!

I'm really not anti TV and DD watches at least one Mr Tumble and a couple of Duggees a day! I just feel so guilty - perhaps I just need to get over that.

You're a trooper @MaverickSnoopy, managing heavy pregnancy alongside 2 kids, and PGP and sciatica! We don't have a garden unfortunately and DD's a bit little for cooking, but she loves colouring and books, and I take her to the park most days so she can burn off some energy. She's just a bit small to let run around by herself - I end up staring longingly at the park benches!! Best of luck with baby #3.

@IvanMashPotatoIvanDoTheTwist it would absolutely help everyone if DD could go to bed earlier, but she has never, ever, ever gone before 9.15pm. I know it's bonkers but we've tried everything - one nap, two naps, no naps, different times, move the bedtime routine, different house etc...and she just fights sleep or is wide awake until about 10pm, when she'll do a solid 10 hours. The only positives of this madness are that she gets a good chunk of time with DH (who gets home at 7pm... prob the reason she stays up!) and she wakes up at 8am, which is very civilised (I'm terrible at early mornings). Thanks for the tip re staying in her cot, we actually have no room for a toddler bed so she'll be in her cot for a while yet! Her naps are rubbish at the moment - it's rare I can get her to nap in the cot, so she ends up sleeping in the pram and then on me - I do try to lie down too though. DH is great on Saturdays - I really value my lie-in and bath time! Just wish he was home more info the week.

Are you trying to nap when she naps? Tough I know but it might give you a boost. Then get some ready meals in instead of cooking and do any bits you need to do when DH gets in before putting your feet up while he does bedtime?

My DD was older when DS came along but i found it infinitely easier coping with two than when i was 8 months pregnant, weirdly.

Gosh sounds really hard for you OP. I'm struggling with an evening and naps so you're doing really well!! There's light at the end of the tunnel and you'll be able to be a bit more active and have more energy soon. It's going to make such a big difference when I can pick up and carry my dd like I normally would xx

Hello! I’m 30 weeeks with a 22 month old. Still working 3 days a week but as a primary teacher so bloody shattered!

My dd goes to sleep 9-7. So I know what you mean about no evening!

Give yourself a break about the tv. She’s obv a well loved, stimulated little girl. You need your rest as does baby so if someone else looking after her isn’t an option just use the tv. It is for a v short time. You sound like a great Mum. Give yourself some time too.

I think if you are getting out every morning and on the go until 3pm, allowing your little one some TV time at that point is perfectly acceptable.

When I was pregnant with DS2, DS1 had barely seen the TV turned on. I felt so awful in the first trimester, that I just cuddled him in front of the TV for a few hours every morning. He is none-the-worse for it, and barely watches TV now (he’s 5). Do what you need to do - it’s only for a few weeks.