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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Wedding at 38 weeks

33 replies

Pickles31 · 30/09/2018 09:09

We have been invited to my cousins wedding and I will be 38 weeks, we live down south but the wedding is 3 hours drive away near Manchester. We said we would go ages ago but the more it nears the time the more I worry I will be even bigger and tired and the fact family going to the weddin keep saying “ oh u better not go into labour at the wedding” makes me not want to go. We are also having a new kitchen fitted at home and it won’t be completed until 2 weeks before I’m due so we will need to get the house tidied and ready for his arrival. Should I go to the wedding of is it best to give it a miss?

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SodTheBloodyLotOfThem · 30/09/2018 09:12

How far along are you? I was extremely uncomfortable by 38 weeks and wouldn't have fancied all that travelling.

Stellarbella · 30/09/2018 09:18

As long as you feel well, it will be fine. I went to my sister’s wedding at 38 weeks, and that was a good three hours away from home. In fact, I went with a migraine that had lasted for a week and had seen me in an MRI scanner the day before. It was all okay.

Just take it easy and you have a good excuse for leaving early if you want to. You’ll realise how much time and freedom you had to do things like this once the baby is here!

gruber · 30/09/2018 09:19

I couldn’t have sat for 3 hours in a car at 38 weeks! I needed the loo every 30 minutes. Plus, I was having quite regular Braxtons which were not something I’d like to share with company. What if you’ve already had baby? What if you get twinges halfway to Manchester?? There are many, many reasons not to go.... you would be absolutely reasonable to say “no, I’m too pregnant” and that should be the end of the discussion.

Original poster

Pickles31 · 30/09/2018 09:20

@sodthebloodylotofthem I’m 34 weeks 3 days currently but will be 38 weeks when it gets to the week of the wedding . I’ve just started getting dull ache pain at night in my bum and to of thighs abs wasn’t sure if that’s cow baby has moved further down and pushing on my nerves. The more I think about it the more I don’t know if I should go. I know they will b annoyed cos they have obviously paid and we said we would go (before we knew was pregnant) but I know I have to do what’s best for me and baby. Or do I just go and stop moaning? I dunno whether to see what I’m like in a few weeks

OP posts:

UntilTheVeryEnd · 30/09/2018 09:22

I was in a similar situation OP! My cousins wedding was when I was 39 weeks and was 7 hours drive away... I said I would go if I could manage it but as the time came closer I realised it was unrealistic. It was far from home, very heavy pregnant and classed as high risk, so I decided not to attend. It absolutely ruffled some feathers and my family (not actually my cousin) were pretty miffed but I had to put me and baby first. Had the wedding been local I might have sucked it up and attended for a bit but the drive and distance from home was the no no part for me.
Do what feel right for you! If they are miffed let them be miffed - you’ll have a baby to snuggle to who gives a monkeys if they are mad haha

Weenurse · 30/09/2018 09:28

I would stay closer to home

SoyDora · 30/09/2018 10:47

I did a wedding at 38 weeks in London (we lived in Bristol). It was fine, had a lovely time, no issues. However it entirely depends how you feel. I had an uneventful pregnancy until then and felt fine, just with a bump. Even managed to wear heels! It’s up to you.

SoyDora · 30/09/2018 10:51

And the baby didn’t come until 41 weeks despite her head being engaged from 34 weeks so I’m glad I went!

FraterculaArctica · 30/09/2018 10:51

My friend's waters broke at 38 weeks at my wedding as I walked down the aisle!

user1471426142 · 30/09/2018 11:09

It’s so hard to know. My waters broke at 38 weeks with no warning. When I got to the hospital they properly went in the waiting room and I had Hollywood style gushing. I was mortified and was very uncomfortable sat in a big wet dress. Until that point I think i would have been ok for a wedding but wouldn’t have enjoyed a 3 hour round trip. I’m pregnant again and won’t be going anywhere far after 36 weeks. I don’t fancy gushing anywhere public again.

Nothisispatrick · 30/09/2018 11:18

I wouldn’t have been able to do it, but depends entirely on how comfortable you are. I was basically housebound from 36 weeks onwards and went in to labour at 38+5

PinkAvocado · 30/09/2018 11:22

No chance! I had both of my babies before 38 weeks but even before them I know I wouldn’t have felt comfortable doing the journey.

At your midwife appt, you could ask to her to feel how low the baby is and tell her your symptoms as she may recommend you don’t.

IggyAce · 30/09/2018 11:23

If it was closer to home I’d say go but I wouldn’t be comfortable travelling that far and it will take longer as you will need loads of toilet breaks.
I have dc1 at 36+6 and dc2 at 38weeks.

surreygirl1987 · 30/09/2018 11:30

I would definitely have gone... I'm 40 weeks today and actually feel like I'd be fine going to a wedding! However it depends entirely on how YOU feel - everyone's third trimester is different and it's a personal choice based upon how comfortable you are!

Running365 · 30/09/2018 12:01

Such a hard one as you just can't tell how you'll feel/you might have even had the baby by then! I'm 38 weeks this weekend and went to a 30th in central London last night, and felt absolutely fine. However, lots of my NCT mum's have delivered before 38 weeks so clearly in a completely different situation. Being surrounded by friends and family might be just what you need to get the oxytocin levels flowing to encourage baby on the way and I'm sure the couple getting married will understand if you just have to wait until the days leading up to the wedding to make a final decision. O and make sure your birth partner doesn't drink so atleast they can support you if things start progressing!

OneForTheRoadThen · 30/09/2018 12:06

I'd had both of mine by 38 weeks - both spontaneous labours!

I went to a wedding at 35 weeks - a week before giving birth - and was exhausted. I went home after the meal and was really uncomfortable sitting up during it. It's up to you though and how you are feeling, if you're feeling good go for it!

HellaFresh · 30/09/2018 12:14

I’m pregnant with my first so not in a true position to know but this situation, I think being away from home so far when in theory labour could start a worry even if ty were comfortable?

SoyDora · 30/09/2018 13:40

It depends I guess HellaFresh. I wasn’t particularly worried as there are hospitals where we were going. Most situations can be managed. I’m not particularly prone to worry though.

MaverickSnoopy · 30/09/2018 13:57

I went to a wedding close to home at 36 weeks. It was extremely difficult and I had a horrible time. I'm currently 39 weeks into my 3rd pregnancy and honestly by 38 weeks in each of them I was in an awful state. However, all women are different and you might be fine. Given that you're already questioning it and don't think you'll feel up to it, I think you've made your mind up. So you have two choices - 1) tell them now or 2) be too unwell on the day and not be able to make it. Entirely depends on whether your family will give you grief.

WinkysTeatowel · 30/09/2018 14:51

I went to a wedding around 2.5hours away with my first pregnancy at 38 weeks, I was absolutely fine. Took notes, car seat and hospital bag just in case but didn't have the baby for another 3 weeks.

Waggily · 30/09/2018 17:04

I went to a wedding 2 hours away at 38 weeks and it was fine. Admittedly, I was going ‘home’ to my parents do knew i’d Have support if anything happened and I took my notes and hospital bag. It was lovely to see everyone and the waitresses completely spoiled me with canapés. Some vigorous dancing meant my waters went the next day but we were back home by then.

gingertom11 · 30/09/2018 17:10

I wouldn't. I had my DS last Sunday at 37w 6d, spontaneous labour, went to bed at 10:30pm absolutely no sign of labour, woke at 2am with pains and he was born before 9am. You just never know, even if you feel absolutely fine with no signs of labour!

NerrSnerr · 30/09/2018 17:19

I went to a wedding at 38 weeks with my first. It was uncomfortable and we left after the meal. The baby was born the next day. Luckily the wedding was only an hour away so we drove home straight after.

tenlittledinosaurss · 30/09/2018 17:24

I gave birth to my first baby at 38 weeks. I definitely wouldn't be going to a wedding that far away then.

TeaAndToastx2 · 30/09/2018 19:37

It totally depends how you feel. I was in a similar situation, wedding at 39 weeks around 2hrs away. I just warned my friend that I might have to pull out close to the date if I felt terrible or had had the baby early etc. She didn’t mind risking the cost of our meals etc. and was fine either way. I actually felt fine on the day, thought I would leave early but stayed til the end and got home by 1:30/2am. Be warned though- I went into labour around 4am!! (Admittedly it was a bloody slow affair).

Ultimately though, it’s going to be hard to say how the next few weeks go and if you don’t feel up to it that should be reason enough. Congratulations and good luck for the birth and new baby!

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