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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant... wanting to leave my boyfriend...

2 replies

Idontknow777 · 30/09/2018 05:43

So I’m 14 weeks pregnant.

It’s an unplanned pregnancy. I’m 26 bf is 25. Never lived together. Been together almost 4 yrs. bf has never moved out of his moms house. I currently live at my moms as well and wee live ina small dead end town

My moms house isn’t very clean. She already hasn’t like 4 cats one had kittens she hasn’t got rid of yet so there’s like 8 cats in the house. Her husband smokes inside and is unclean. I don’t use the kitchen bc it feels dirty so I have to eat prepackahed food or take out or fast food . It’s clearly very bad for a pregnant person to live here.

I did consider/still do sometimes consider abortion but we had one two years ago and Was really hard for me and felt wrong.

My bf has plenty of money saved.. prob around 40k. He’s been making it difficult for us to get a place together as he has for the past 4 years. Always an excuse.

He says he doesn’t want me paying toward rent bc he doesn’t trust I’ll pay (when I lived by myself a year ago I was sick and needed help with one month or rent so apparently I’m unreliable even tho he’s the one who’s lived at his moms his whole life) . Bc of this, he chooses where we live (dead end towns where I’ll have no job opportunities or friends) and how much it will cost. Instead of me chipping in and us having
More options of places to stay

Now he says the place has to be furnished bc he doesnt want spend 2k on furniture. We have a bed frame and two TVs we don’t neeed tons of stufff and can be frugal. Finding a furnished place, where HE Wants to live, in the super cheap price range he said he will pay, is pretty much impossible.it also make me depressed bc I basically have no say in anything...

I’m sick of it. I quit my job a couple weeks ago bc I work inn a coffee shop and they wouldn’t give me time off I kept being forced to go in while I was sick/debating on abortion and had to quit bc I couldn’t figure anything out.

So I’m currently broke and jobless and 4 months pregnant

Idk what to do. Where I live it’s really expensive to get a place. I’m thinking if trying to get a full time Job in the city but will be a 1 1/2 hour to 2 hr commute. But I won’t have well paying full time work here and I’m
Thinking about leaving my boyfriend. I could move into the city after I have enough saved and I’ll be tired and worn out and struggling but it’s not any different than my life now. At least I’ll have socializing, a safe clean place and hope..

He’s making it so hard, and I feel that he is lazy and cheap and negligent and doesn’t see the big picture

Bad idea?

OP posts:
NotANotMan · 30/09/2018 05:46

Definitely consider the future of the relationship. I think that moving in with someone who is so cheap and controlling when you're about to have a baby is a recipe for absolute disaster.
However clearly you also can't stay with your mum, and you can't financially support yourself.
Have you contacted the local council to see if they would help you into a private rented flat?

Idontknow777 · 30/09/2018 05:55

No. But I’m going to try to get food stamps and any other help I can right now. It just sucks. I wish I broke up with him before this happpened.. but maybe this is the only thing that willl make me leave him. I’ve been unhappy with him for so long. He and all his family are so lazy and irresponsible .. kind of failures.. I hate saying that but it’s true. My family is too but I’m aware of it and don’t wanna live like them..

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