Would you have a third baby in these circumstances?

[DontFindYourselfInMe]

I am 36 and have a DS 15 and DD 9. I have only a few months left of storage on my 11 embryos. I have endlessly debated about whether to use them to have one last baby.
I am happily married and we have the money for a third, cars will suit a new baby but the bedroom situation might be squishy depending on sex of new baby.
If these were your circumstances and you felt sad at the thought of your embryos being destroyed would you give it one last shot?
The few things holding me back are the idea of sleepless nights again, a huge age gap, especially for my eldest DS and the new baby and possibly making it very difficult to return to part time work afterwards.
Just really don't know what to do. Everyone I speak to in real life always says "you'll just know when you're done having kids".
I've never felt "done" but at the same time I felt so happy and complete to have one of each. Especially after a hard time conceiving.
DH always says, " whatever you feel is best, I don't mind if we have another or we don't. I'm happy if you're happy" he's lovely but not helpful to help me decide 😫

I feel like if you haven't wanted to go ahead in 9 years, then you've made your decision already.

Agree with pp, and the gap is too large too imo.
You’re just sad because of the finality of this decision. If there was another 10years left of your embryos would you chose to have another baby?

Most people will tell you not to and seem desperate for their kids to grow up but I had a third after a ten year gap and it’s fanrastic. The older 2 are amazing with her and she makes us laugh all the time. I just think how glad I am so often.
But, I knew I wanted one. It was triggered partly by running out of time age wise. I can imagine being in a now or never situation is quite a dilemma. And I cosleep and make life a lot easier for myself in ways I didn’t when I was younger. Like I cuddle her to sleep every night because it’s lovely and she’s 2! I relish it all because I know too well how fast it goes.
But if you’re looking forward to a child free life, its not for you!

I’m expecting again after an 8 year gap, I’m really excited and looking forward to it :)

If I had my first child at 21 then no I don’t think I would. I’m not surprised you don’t feel done as your embryos are out there as it were.
I agree with others that you would probably have done it by now if it was what you really wanted.

Personally, no I wouldn't. I have tasted the Freedom that having older children gives and I wouldn't want to go backwards.

I think if you're posting on here about it then maybe you want it more than you want to admit to yourself.

I think you should do it. You've got nothing to lose. There was a 10 year gap between my mum and her older sister and they were so close their whole life.

I think you'll need definitely another bedroom though? I don't think it'd be fair to make either of your kids share with a baby. They're just getting to the ages when their bedroom is their sanctuary.

How do you feel about the baby sharing with you and your DH until your DS goes to university? Or rejig your house (if possible) to create a bedroom out of s downstairs study/dining room..?

If the embryos hadn't already been created and you were ttc naturally would you go for a 3rd? I would base my decision on my answer to that question.

It's a difficult one. Destroying an embryo is not I nice idea, especially after all the work that went into making them. But with 9 of them frozen you'll probably still have to make that decision regardless of whether you go for a third anyway....

@Talkwhilstyouwalk I think that's it really. It comes down to the fact that the embryos actually exist and I know they can turn into actual little beautiful humans like DD. ( DS was conceived naturally, DD was IVF)
It makes it so final to have them destroyed. Where as if I was just TTC normally, I'd just say oh well, it wasn't meant to be if I didn't get pregnant. Nothing would actually be lost iyswim.

We had DS so young it was hard and I didn't enjoy it as much as I did when I had DD. I was older then and had also been through a lot to get pregnant with her. I breastfed her for 3.5 yrs and I think I am maybe just feeling a bit sad I'll never have a bump or a newborn again or breastfeed etc. DH and I do enjoy having older children in some ways. We get a lot of time to ourselves and can go out on dates. We've traveled a lot with the kids and as I am from North America, we need to factor yearly trips home to my country to see my family too. I realise this would all grind to a hault with a new baby and our vacations and trips abroad would become more expensive.

Thanks for all the input so far