14 weeks.. regret not aborting

[Idontknow777]

I don’t know what to do

I had an abortion a year and a half ago and didnt wanna do it again. I’m 26. It happened on a drunken night when we didn’t use protection. I just didn’t think I would get pregnant from one time.

I’ve been so depressed ever since, I quit my job and never really leave my bed. I tried seeing a dr but I only got an appt with a nurse practicioner who didn’t know I was there bc I was pregnant and embarrassed me and told me she could do a blood test but to go seee a gyno. I can’t get an appt with a gyno till oct 12.
I’m gonna try to go to planned parenthood to get prenatal care since that’s so far away and I’m already in the second trimester but I’ve had no other care and the closest one is in the city that’s a two hour dr from me. I can’t even get out of bed

I’m so sad. I’ve been w my bf for 4 years but I don’t see a future with him, especially after falling pregnant again and realizing the kind of life we would have. He still lives w his parents and is 25 and is taking forever to get us a place. He’s really lazy and immature. A lot of his friends are younger than him and a lot still live at home and date girls who are 20. It’s so depressing. I think he could support us financially but I feel like I will be stuck into a life I don’t want .

I had plans for myself, I wanted to get back into dancing and finish school and do photography and other things.

I think I can still get an abortion at this stage, but it feels so wrong. I would be too hurt after. I don’t know wahf to do. either way I am so unhappy..
Adoption isn’t an option for me that would be more painful than abortion

No advice, but please get counselling and make the decision that's right for you and you alone. Going to Planned Parenthood asap is a great idea, they will be able to advise you of your options.

Good luck and sending you wishes for clarity. Remember that pregnancy hormones can cloud your judgement & make your decision harder.

And also remember, that no decision is in fact a decision.

I feel for you but as op said above - whatever decision you make do what’s best for you because you can’t rely on a guy being around unfortunately. Do you not have a midwife yet if you’re in second trimester? Apologies if I misread anything above! Talking to someone may help so it’s great that you’re reaching out to the right people to get some support

Hi op. This sounds so hard. I’m really sorry you’re in this situation. Have you got any support? Have you told any friends or family ? You really need to have someone to care for you and help you through this, if possible.

The choice is yours, but it sounds like you already know what you want to do. I know that having a baby feels like it will upset all your plans at the moment, and it will. But life doesn’t end with a baby. It changes completely but you will still be you, and babies grow up and become kids, and you will get a bit of time back. Many women have children and also have careers and hobbies and fulfilling lives. It might not be what you planned, but you can still have a happy life.

You don’t have to stay with your bf just because you have a child. That is totally your choice too, and you shouldn’t feel trapped. You can do it alone if you want to. You can get a different partner in the future if you want to. You aren’t trapped and you can decide.

Get some counselling, and know that even though both options seem terrible right now, they really aren’t. Life with a child can be wonderful and doesn’t have to stop you being yourself or pursuing things you enjoy. Sometimes life takes an unexpected and unwanted turn, but you will cope and you will be fine, whatever you choose.

Try to be kind on yourself and take care of yourself at the moment. You’re being very brave but you are struggling and really need some support, either from a family member or friend, or from a counsellor of some kind.

Take care.

No specific advice but I just wanted to say, having a baby young doesn't have to be the end of your dreams. At the moment you feel very dependant on your boyfriend, understandably. But as others have said, you can go it alone. I ended up a single mum of a 3 and 1 year old by the time I was 29. I managed to retrain for a new career as a single mum and now have a good job and a happy life. It was hard, but actually I think having the kids made me more determined to succeed because failure just wasn't an option.

Good luck. Definitely do go to Planned Parenthood. Can you talk to any friends about your worries?

The end decision ultimately has to be what you want but I can relate to life's plans changing. I had a really good job in London and plans for myself also but moved miles away to be with my partner and gave a lot up when we decided to have a baby. I went through some weeks of grieving for my old life and crying at now being reliant on someone else but I know my life is not over, just different. You can pick your life back up again after as I intend to and as someone else has said, you will have a little person in your life to motivate you even further. A child does change things but that doesn't mean it's bad change and a lot of it is temporary. I hope you figure things out and please do speak to someone soon so you can get some support with all of this.

Please phone your GP surgery and tell them you need an urgent appointment. If you've made the decision to keep the baby you need midwife care. You need to talk to them about your depression as well, pregnancy hormones can play havoc with your emotions at the best of times.

No advice from me, you sound very depressed. Please do go to Planned Parenthood as soon as you can, even if it is a long drive. Just do it please. Or if you can find somewhere else nearer to you, see them. There must be a place you can telephone that will advise you about such things.

Your man sounds like a dickhead, very immature. He may be different in a few years but do you want to waste the best years of your life hanging around, waiting for a change that may never happen?

Make sure nothing like this ever occurs again!

I do hope you are able to pick up your studies and get a job but you have more urgent concerns right now. Good luck.

Sorry op but saying you didn't think you would get pregnant from only one time is the sort of thing a young teenager would say - you should have known better and either used protection or the MAP.

However, you're obviously in this position now and it's clear you are very depressed. What do you want to do? If you choose to continue with the pregnancy, ensure you seek support from midwives, gp etc. Will your partner step up and provide support to you both?

You need to do what is best for you. Only you know the answer to that

The op didn't come here for a lecture ffs. If you havent got anything supportive to say then bugger off elsewhere, your personal opinions on abortion and speeches about what she should have done are not relevant.

Op, burying your head in the sand is the worst thing you can do. You need to get proactive, or if you feel you can't, is there someone in your life who can help you with some tough love.

First things first you need a doctor's appointment. They can refer you to counselling, give you advice about an abortion at this stage and check you over.

You need to come at your choices in this as a single woman by the sounds of it. Don't rely on your boyfriend at all.

You can make this work if you keep on with the pregnancy, you will also recover if you choose not to, but the first stage is to ask for help, it won't go away and the longer you leave it, the harder it will be.

Hope things improve for you soon op

I understand when you are feeling so unwell why you could be feeling like this. Pregnancy is so hard and it changes alot.

I'm 28 and having my 4th baby. Very different situation to you but this pregnancy was unplanned. Our oldest son has a rare genetic condtion and is severely disabled so each pregnancy has a 1 in 4 chance of being effected.

I decided to continue with the pregnancy and wait for testing at 11 weeks via a cvs. Unfortunately I ended up being the 1 in 1000 that couldn't have the CVS as the placenta implanted at the back this time. During that time I could barley leave my bed and was either being sick or felt sick, I felt so awful and thought many times about just having termination because i felt hopeless and like i couldn't cope.

I ended up being able to have the test at 15 weeks and got the results at 16 and I'm carrying a healthy baby boy. I'm 31 weeks now and I'm still not feeling great but I'm so excited to meet my son. I just want the pregnancy to be over.

Really think about what you want and if you are only feeling like this because your pregnant and not yourself as it's not forever. If you do want a germination then have one asap. It's your body your choice. X