Anxiety in pregnancy, worried baby will be taken away

[CaptainUnderpants96]

Hi all,

I have posted another thread about my codeine dependency, but this is a little different although related.

I am currently 17 weeks pregnant with a very much wanted and treasured baby. Several months ago I suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks. It was devastating and I think I slipped into a period of depression. Unfortunately in order to medicate this I started taking low dose over the counter co-codamol (8/500) every day. I had been taking them occasionally to treat migraines for years, but after my miscarriage started taking them every day. Initially it was for pain (I had to have a D&C) but after about a week I noticed I would take them if I felt low or anxious. I craved the calm feeling they gave me. I never took a huge amount (4/5 tablets a day on average) but it was every day.

After a few weeks my depression lifted and I realised I was dangerously close to becoming addicted, so started to cut down/wean myself off the tablets. In the midst of this (in June) I discovered I was pregnant again. I was still taking tablets every day but had cut down to 2 or 3, sometimes up to 4 if I had a migraine. My pregnancy was extra motivation, and I cut down even further to 1 or 2 a day.

Now I'm almost 17 weeks and haven't taken any tablets at all for three/four days. I feel I have overcome my addiction now, as I haven't been tempted to take any more, haven't had any withdrawals, and am happy to be off them.

However, I am now incredibly anxious and upset about potential harm the tablets may have done to my baby. I Googled (which I know you should never do!) codeine in pregnancy, and whilst some sources said it was fine to take in pregnancy others said it could cause birth defects if taken in first trimester! I was sooo scared and couldn't sleep for the anxiety. I am also anxious about something going wrong in terms of miscarriage/stillbirth due to my previous loss. My heart raced, my stomach churned and I was constantly in the loo.

Up until today my midwife was unaware of any of this. I never told her about my depression or codeine dependency as I was terrified of being labelled a druggie and social services getting involved. However, the anxiety has kicked in full force in the past few days and I felt like I couldn't hide it any longer, so I emailed her detailing my struggle and being totally candid.

A midwife called me back and thankfully was very reassuring. She started off by saying that, after looking at all the literature she had on hand in regards to medications in pregnancy, she couldn't see anything that said codeine was unsafe in pregnancy. Furthermore, she urged me to contact my GP in regards to my anxiety so they were aware. She was also going to forward my email to the midwife I am seeing tomorrow for my 16 week appointment so she is aware.

I am happy and relieved that the ball is rolling, but now am terrified of the appointment tomorrow and what might happen. I am still scared of potential harm to my baby, but now I am also terrified that, due to my previous struggle and my current anxiety, I will be labelled an unfit parent and my baby taken off me.

I am so scared.

Oh sweetheart, well done for telling your midwife and on making an appointment to see your GP.

They won’t take away your baby for this, anxiety is incredibly common In pregnancy and the fact that you’ve reached out and asked for help is brilliant and will only be looked upon positively.

Take the help and support offered to you, but please don’t worry about your child being removed.

Thank you so much @BifsWif, I am so scared but know I need help.

I had anxiety and depression in pregnancy and I was under the perinatal mental health team, they were fabulous and I felt much better by the time baby arrived.

Let us know how you get on tomorrow

I had severe depression and anxiety when I was pregnant, I was under the mental health midwifery team and saw a psychiatrist (for prescribing basically they have expert knowledge of medication and pregnancy). There was never any suggestion of taking my baby, I only had support.

You are open and engaging with professionals that's the most important thing here. You will be fine

Just reassuring you that children aren’t removed due to anxiety, unless it is so incredibly extreme that it is causing a huge problem, which is unusual. Anxiety is common and particularly so in pregnancy.

My first pregnancy was a mmc. I slipped into a deep depression.
None of what you’ve written makes you an unfit parent. None at all. By seeking help from relevant professionals you’re showing you’re going to be the absolute opposite. You’re enabling them to support you and prevent you suffering worse depression or anxiety or addiction once your baby is here.
Good luck OP. Be proud you’re seeking support. That takes strength.

Well done for letting them know you have done great :)

Thank you so much everyone. It's gotten so bad that I sometimes wish I wasn't pregnant, not because I don't want this baby (because I definitely do) but because I have damaged them so much through my codeine use that they've got horrific health problems. This is despite the midwife telling me codeine isn't dangerous to take! I know these thoughts aren't healthy.

Well done. And don't worry about getting your baby taken away, for better or worse it is not done often or easily and the bar is far far lower than what you're describing. You sound like you're taking all the right steps, and the midwives and other health professionals will be right behind you.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and baby.

They’re not healthy but you know that and are seeking help for them. That’s you doing what’s best for your baby.

Well done for telling the midwife. I tried to leave my first child in NICU, convinced he was a doll. I attempted suicide, I was diagnosed with PTSD (from a previous trauma which I'd tried to suppress), PnD and postnatal psychosis when he was seven weeks old. My second pregnancy was a mess for all those reasons plus the death of my father six months in.

At no point has anyone tried to take my children off me, even at my most bonkers.

Hi OP I remember you last thread. Really well done on telling our midwife it shows how much you care about you baby and how serious you are about stopping the codine.
I had had sever anxiety during my 2nd pregnancy and towards the end I ended up on a mild antidepressants/ anxiety medication. Again there is risk to weigh up but it is always something to consider with you gp if your mood become really low etc.
A general meeting with you gp about all of this would also be good as they may have other support they could offer you.
Take all the help you are offered to make sure you keep progressing. You have done so well so please don't be so hard on yourself

Hi OP,
I read your last thread and just want to say how amazing you are for both reducing/coming off your medication and for seeking help regarding it.
Your GP and midwife (and anyone else) will now be able to support you in the best way possible.
Please don't worry about having your baby taken away. Just focus on keeping yourself healthy for yourself and the little one, and take all the support you get. We're all supporting you ❤️

Thank you so much everyone! I already feel less anxious and worried after talking to my midwife and reading your responses. I even feel PHYSICALLY better, which shows just how powerful anxiety can be.

Maybe things will be okay after all

well done for being honest, very brave to do that I honestly think that in itself proves you are a good mum. Don't be too hard on yourself your getting the help you need and the midwives are there to support you xx

I had exactly this fear too. I struggled for a good 2/3 months out of my pregnancy being EXTREMELY paranoid that the midwives/doctors were plotting behind my back to take my baby away at birth. This all boiled down to me having had anxiety in the past and my anxiety made me feel that this would provoke the health professional deeming me unfit to look after a baby!

Now I realise that this was a completely irrational fear...The fact that you've been honest and open about your problem will actually show that you are responsible and care about the welfare of your baby.

Write a list of questions and make sure you ask them at tomorrow's appointment so you don't leave there feeling anxious or unsure about anything afterwards. I wish I had done this.

Well done for telling the midwife!
There is no way they will remove your baby. I hope your anxiety lessens soon 💐

Hi all, just got back from midwife appointment!

It went wonderfully! Midwife was lovely and really supportive. She first off told me that she hasn't seen any scientific evidence that says codeine is harmful in pregnancy, plus the doses I was taking were so small that she is certain that they haven't hurt baby. Because I have stopped taking it now, she said there is no way baby will be born addicted.

She also said that there is no reason whatsoever to take baby off me and she wouldn't dream of contacting social services because there's no need!

Finally she said she doesn't routinely check baby's heartbeat but if I wanted to hear it I could. So I took her up on her offer and there was baby's heart beating away ❤️ Oh, and she told me to stay off Google 😂

Overall it was a really positive experience and I feel so reassured. She has arranged to see me again in two weeks to make sure I'm doing okay but told me to call at any time if I felt like my anxiety was creeping up again.

Thanks again everyone, I feel like I can finally enjoy this pregnancy now!

OP I am so happy for you.
That is great she was so supportive.
Now you can finally relax and enjoy your pregnancy until your little one makes an appearance.
Good luck for the rest of your pregnacy

That's brilliant OP. I'm glad she was so supportive

Fantastic news! I’m so pleased she put your mind at rest

I really admire you and your honesty. What you have done takes a lot of guts. Hold your head up high lady! Keep being honest.