Wanting a baby

[JACA81]

Hi everyone, just wanting a bit of advise me and my partner have been together a long time he has 2 children of his own to 2 different women, but says he's not ready to have another child as we're not financially ready and don't have anything for a baby, he wasn't financially ready for the other 2 he has. He was thrown into it as both mum's said they were keeping them. I've had my coil which he knows about and I don't want to do that's to him like the other 2 did I want it to our choice to have a baby not ' im pregnant and keeping it you don't have a say ' and i wouldn't want to Have a abortion any advise would be nice thanks

It doesn't sound like you're in a good position to have a child - you may feel comfortable but your partner sounds like he has some anxiety about it which sounds reasonable if he has 2 kids already. You're so young too what's the rush? No-one can decide for you of course and only you two really know the ins and outs of everything. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

However your talk with him goes, you do have the luxury of time on your side. Plenty of people do manage financially but you'll still be young in a couple of years and potentially in a situation where you don't have to just manage and could have 0 debt. If he's not ready now then I would just want to make sure he definitely does see another child in the future as him changing his mind about something that huge is not fair on you. Good luck.

I would try and pay your debts off first. I would also think about how you would manage if the relationship broke down. He would then be paying maintenance for three children (plus any more he went on to have) so I doubt you would get very much. Would you be able to manage rent, bills, childcare etc. in this situation?

If you were in your thirties it would be different but at 23 you have loads of time to improve your finances and build up some savings before having a child. It’s all very well saying that his previous two partners didn’t but you’re the one that could potentially be left struggling if you don’t.