Budgeting: what do I really need for my newborn?!

[trippingoverrainbows]

I'm just over 16 weeks pregnant and beginning to make a list of all the things I'll need for the baby. I'm feeling quite overwhelmed and not sure where to start.

I'm looking to make a list of 'must haves' if anyone can help?!

Just seen somebody mention cheeky wipes...these have been amazing for us. We bought the full kit but because we cloth nappy it was a bit of a waste...however if you are going for disposable nappies i'd recommend the kits. We got ours stupidly cheap thanks to deals & they have free wipes for every x amount of money you spend. Honestly they are amazing; i will never go back to wet wipes. We use so few per nappy compared to disposable wipes. Well worth the investment or you could buy face cloths/flannels, cut them up & sew the edges to prevent fraying.

I've realised after reading this thread that I misunderstood what a perfect prep machine is and that I can use it with MAM bottles.

We're 22 weeks in now though so will just wait until the next one.

You won’t know what your baby will need really until they get here.

I bought an ergobaby sling (top sling on the market) baby hated it.

We loved the baby jogger city mini GT, I’ve a pre schooler who has used it daily from birth. Just took off the pram attachment. One hand fold. Unlike many travel systems it doesn’t weigh a tonne, it’s easy to fold and it fits a 4 year old. Lifesaver for us and top buy.

I got lots of muslins as everyone said I’d need loads. Never used them. My baby was never sick, never leaked poo and didn’t posset. I gave them away unused.

Other mums also told me to stock up on breast pads. I did. I never used one because my nipples never leaked in 12 months of bf!

I purchased a very expensive Tripp trapp high chair with attachments, which converts to a chair which grows with your child. Sounds great but my pre schooler has refused to sit on it for the last two years. She prefers a normal chair. So it sits unused in our kitchen. She sat best in the cheapie Ikea chair they have in cafes as a baby. Shouldn’t have wasted my money.

I purchased lots of fancy pants bottles (mam etc) hoping my bf daughter would mixed feed. She refused, I gave them away practically unused.

The baby bjorn chair was amazing for us, baby loved being in it and it gave me a break at times.

My point is every parent will tell you something is essential, but it might not be essential for you. So I suggest only buying the actual essentials and leaving all the other stuff til you get to know your baby.

The essentials are: babygrows, vests, nappies, flannels/ wipes, nipple cream if you plan to try bf (you might not need it but if you do, you’ll want it to hand ASAP), maternity pads and disposable pants for heavy bleeding post birth, if bf a nursing bra (buy as late as possible- I loved the Anita brand), blankets, Moses basket (second hand fine) plus new mattress, car seat if you drive.

You need a car seat, brand new or from a trusted friend only. If you need a cheap one, and don't find a good deal e.g. in with a pushchair, Joie is the brand to look at. There are some cheap brands which have poor safety records but Joie is good.

It is worth noting if a pushchair says it's compatible with Maxi Cosi, then it's also compatible with Cybex, Joie, Recaro and Kiddy. These all use so-called "universal" pushchair adaptors often sold as Maxi Cosi adaptors.

Don't bother with a seat which covers multiple age groups if you want more DC or one which comes with a multi-stage base. This is a false economy 99% of the time.

You will probably want some way to transport the baby while out and about. It's really fine to buy some cheap old thing and then change it later - you don't know what features of a pram are REALLY important until after you start using it regularly. Slings are also great, but a pram/pushchair is easier when you're still recovering from childbirth. You don't need it to be compatible with a car seat, but you might like it to be. IMO, choose your pram and car seat model (or preferred features) ASAP, then you can look out for deals or second hand bargains.

You obviously need to dress the baby. Don't go overboard. You will need short-sleeved vests (8-12) and something to go over the top of that, like sleepsuits or little outfits. Sleepsuits are 1000 times easier, so make sure you have at least 5. But you might like outfits too. Again, 8-12 options for over a vest is enough to start you off. Get a couple of cardigans or little zip up hoodies. Don't bother with anything you need to pull over the baby's head. THEN - clock where your nearest and most accessible source of cheap baby clothes is, whether it's Primark or Asda or Tesco and when you run out of clothes, simply go in there and buy another pack of whatever type of clothes you're finding the most useful in the correct size. In advance of the birth I'd only get things in 0-3 months and 0-1 month, or H&M 0-2 months. Newborn is miniscule and only worth having second hand. Tiny baby probably won't even be worn unless you have a premature baby. If you try to buy too far ahead in sizes, you'll often find seasons don't match up. FB bundles, ebay, car boots, NCT sales etc all great for clothes. I would not bother with anything hugely seasonal like sun hats, snowsuits, because you can just get them as and when they are needed, which might be never.

The baby needs a safe place to sleep and appropriate bedding. I'd get a couple of cellular blankets and maybe one of those swaddle things if you would like to try one. If your baby likes it, you can get a second to wash and then start looking for more second hand.

You need somewhere in mind to put them down during the day. This might be the pram top, if it's a carrycot, or a blanket on the floor if you don't have pets. Or you can get various options - bouncers, swings, travel cot, high chair with newborn attachment. Again, it's best to keep it simple and/or second hand - your baby might hate what you buy, and it can be helpful to have the option to try them out in it in advance. Don't use a car seat for this, it's unsafe.

Lastly you need a way to change them and wash them and all the bits to deal with the various stages of that. If you get baby towels, make sure they're thick enough to be warm and useful. I like the look of the Shnuggle bath but both DSes have preferred to bath with their dads anyway!

I love muslin cloths and find them so useful. I would recommend you get a couple of packets as you can always buy more. It's useful to have an accurate thermometer to help quell those new mum nerves about temperature. And get some calpol in before the first jabs.

You probably do want a small, unobtrusive light for night feeds and/or changes, if you have a bedside lamp, that works fine. Anything dimmer is no use for a change because you can't see what you're doing, but a nightlight kind of level is OK for feeding and general checking on the baby.

IME you don't need anything else urgently - everything else can be got as and when you find a need for it, which, again, might be never. Try everything you can before you buy! If you think your baby might like white noise, try playing some from youtube.

See I would not say that a Moses basket is essential, but somewhere safe for them to sleep is.

For sleep you basically have a few options, you can see which appeals to you and start researching from there.

Moses basket/carrycot/baby box - small compact space, helps newborn feel enclosed.

Swinging or rocking cradle/crib, hammock - meant to be a bit more soothing for them.

Normal cot or cotbed - lasts longer, but takes up a lot of space and some newborns don't like it. Some models you can DIY into a co-sleeper cot.

Bedside cot/co-sleeper crib - attaches to side of parents' bed for easy access feeding/soothing at night.

Travel cot - cheap, portable but often garish. Can double as playpen. Sometimes comes with a small bassinet attachment. You should add a basic mattress as the included ones are hard.

Mamia nappies are best for price - we have a Lidl right outside our door but the Lupipulu (or whatever their brands called) don't stay on well if you have a wiggly baby. Can't have enough muslins. Buy second-hand (except car seat of course, we got decent £40 one from argos) as much as possible as it all gets destroyed anyway. Daughter is 6 months and in 3 days she will wear 3 sleepsuits, 3 vests and 4 outfits at most and then we wash. Buy the multipacks from supermarkets or Primark- everything gets poonamid anyway. People will buy nice stuff as gifts so just get cheap crap for them to kick about the house in. We had a Moses basket but she preferred the Scottish government cardboard baby box to sleep in. Get some blankets (try Primark for cheap soft ones) and 4 bedsheets as they may get thrown up on. High chair doesn't need to be bought til 5 months - just get ikea one as easy to clean. Changing mats are usually in Aldi baby event for £3. Don't pay for a fancy diaper bag - an insulated lunchbox, some ice packs (provided your bottle feeding) and whatever backpack or handbag you've got lying around will do. Cheap secondhand baby bath will do the trick - don't bother with the fancy stretchers etc. Dentists will tell you otherwise but dummies are fab imo. Don't go all out on a travel system - everything is within walking distance for us so we just got city jogger mini (pricematched at John Lewis for £215 off giftcards so can return if it breaks etc) and put in bugaboo newborn insert and laid it flat for first few months and will last till she's 4 - very lightweight. Look for local second hand kids stores or fairs or car boot sales. I know some people might view it as an unnecessary spend but if you bottle feed, Tommy Tippee machine will be your new best friend - buy second hand and buy some new filters to go with it just to be safe.

Before you start trawling sites ask around, esp if you work with a fair number of women. I got kitted out for less than 100 quid through people offering me things.

I got lots of borrowed stuff including stuff that hasn't previously been used.

For example 90% of the bottles I have were given to me unused. I then discovered using them that my daughter only likes particular bottles and they aren't the Mam ones.

I have 4 slings that were barely used by their original owners because they had injuries so couldn't use them, found them uncomfortable or their baby didn't like them. So when people advise you to use a sling library if you decide to buy a new sling it is to save you money, otherwise you will probably be another person passing a barely used sling on. (My baby actually likes me using one of the slings.)

One thing I advise not doing is going to a baby show unless you are given free tickets. The stuff is either over priced e.g. changing mats, designer e.g. muslins, not needed/advised e.g. breast feeding pillows, or the wrong brands e.g. bottles. If you need to try out a pram or travel system find a large retailer who allows you to do so.

Also don't bother buying outfits for a baby under 6 months unless you have a special do. Let people give you outfits. Babies don't care what they wear and you will have better things to do then dress your baby up.

In regards to nappies - try all brands until you find one you are happy with. Babies are different shapes and sizes so what suits your baby won't suit others. This is why for example you get some people saying Lidl nappies are rubbish but swearing by Aldi or Tesco's or vice versa.

Re travel system, look at getting one that has a bassinet/carrycot suitable for safe overnight sleeping. We didn't bother with a moses basket that the baby would grow out of in a few weeks or months because DS slept in the carrycot at home and when we were out and about until he got too big and went into the cot. Made it super easy for travelling in the first four months as well as he was always sleeping somewhere familiar. We're also in Scotland a more heavy duty pram worked better for us than a yoyo as we were less likely to be lugging it on and off buses/tubes etc.

If you're planning on breastfeeding, then stock up on the lansinoh. Other than that, in the early days it's really just the day to day items - clothing (but don't go overboard - people will buy you loads of stuff, and they grow out of it so quickly!), nappies, wipes (we used Waterwipes for the first week and ditched them after that - soggy and annoying - our favourites, even now DS is 15 months, are the Tesco newborn ones). Sudocrem!!

Also, another vote for Amazon prime - so handy for things that you think would be useful and don't face having to leave the house for!

Not essential but so useful to have - a nice playmat with stuff overhead. Doesn't have to be an all singing all dancing one, but somewhere that you can put the baby down and drink a cup of tea - we got a bright sparks one from Amazon. Also a baby sling - I bought a Yoga Bellies one and it was great for when DS didn't want to be put down but I wanted my hands back. If we were going out, then I generally put him in the pram as I was so scared of falling over with him on my front (first time mother fears!).

My advice would be buy a few baby basics and put money into savings everyone is different you might not use what another person classes as a must have but then really want something else when baby is here. You can collect most things from argos the same day and amazon deliver next day.
Believe me we are emergency Foster carers and we have brought all the stuff a six week old baby needed in a hour. (including Christmas gifts).

Nappies / wipes
Vest
Baby grows
Cardigans
Bibs
Snowsuit or coat
Crib or Moses basket (crib will last longer as it is bigger)
Cot mobile
Pram
Car seat
Lots of blankets
Sleep bags/ fitted sheets
Nappy cream
Bouncer or swing
face clothand towels
Baby lotion or moisture

That should do I think for the first three months , may of missed somthing but personally I wouldn’t bother with outfits that need sock and little uncomfortable shirts babygrows are comfy and easy to wash and dry. I bought a baby bath and only used it once, was so much easier to pop them in the big bath with me each night, Also water will do no need for shower gels and washes.

trippingoverrainbows

I think you must be more confuse than ever!

This thread shows that what some people find essential others never use!.

I would say buy very little until your baby is here.

For example a changing table- some mothers find that essential- others prefer not to use them.

I always preferred to change my babies nappy on the floor, it felt safer to me. I would use a clean towel, and kept all the changing stuff in an wooden box ( it was actually a seat with a hinged lid).
I was afraid that my baby would roll off a changing table if I turned away for a second, and once a baby become a little mobile- which takes only a few months you may find you have a wriggler on your hands and nappy changing is a bit of a wrestling match- which is definitely not safe on a table, far better on the floor.

You may spend hundreds on a changing table and only get 5 months use from it.

You can always buy stuff after you have your baby.

My changing table was £60 brand new. Don't need to spend a fortune on any baby product. I see ppl selling them on Facebook marketplace for even less than that.

sabrinathethirtysomethingwitch

Yes, but my point is that we don't all think a changing table is essential.

I wouldn't have used one even if I had been given it free.

What works for some doesn't work for others.

For me (on dc4)

Vests, babygrows, a couple of cardigans, a couple of pairs of socks (these can be worn under the babygrow when it’s cold)

Nappies, wipes (cotton wool or washable wipes when tiny)

I never used muslins with dc1, dc2 I had to buy more because he was constantly sick, dc3 I used them occasionally... so variable!

A couple of thin blankets.

Somewhere for baby to sleep at night

Somewhere for baby to sleep/ be put down in the day (if this is your first dc you can get away with a mat on the floor or on the sofa (supervised obviously) when you have a toddler charging about you need somewhere a bit safer!)

Car seat

Means of transporting baby. Again travel system probably not essential for first dc but for me with others at school and a school run I had to do by car it was brilliant. Car seat base permanently in car, car seat plonked on there, baby goes to sleep on drive, lift car seat out onto buggy wheels to collect dc, pop back into car, baby doesn’t get disturbed getting in and out of car until I get home.

I just have a folding changing mat in my handbag and another upstairs.

That is literally all I would consider essential to begin with. You can buy bottles later if you decide to use them, same for dummies, pumps etc. I love sleeping bags once they’re big enough but not everybody does.

@speakout it just shows how everyone values different 'necessities'. This thread has been so helpful though as it sounds like there is no right/wrong things to get and a lot is down to personal preference/what your baby likes.

I will definitely be checking out the reusable wipes though as a few people have said these are invaluable. Maybe a daft question but how do you store the used wipes when out and about? Don't they make you smell terrible as you're effectively carrying around 💩 all day?

So many people recommending prefect prep also so if BF doesn't work out I'll look into this too.

For the wipes you can use disposable wipes if out and about for the day. Or for poos and use the washables just for wees. Up to you! But there are bags called wet bags and you can pop the dirty wipes in there and zip it up. If you buy the cheeky wipe system they give you a clean bag and a mucky bag for out and about, have a look at it to get the idea even if you don't buy it.

Thanks so much @RedFin

My essentials have been:

Travel system - I chose one that I loved after many friends went through several prams as they’d tried to save money but there was always something they didn’t like about their choice.

Car seat

Crib. You could also check if you can get a baby box in your area from baby box university. I’m in SE and got one. We’ve used it in the living room rather than a Moses basket. It’s now used as a toy box.

Starter pack of formula - I had intended to bf so just bought the starter pack as a just in case - you get ready made formula and pre- sterilised bottles. Turned out I couldn’t bf so just used these kits for the first few days. I then bought the TT complete feeding kit which I found was great. Lots of people love the MAM bottles - I hated them.

A few essential clothes - vests and babygros. Don’t buy too many as you don’t know what you’ll like and hate. I found some styles of babygro really awkward to get on due to the location of the poppers. I also said my baby would only like in babygros and not outfits - DD is incredibly long though and grows out of babygros really quick so is mostly in leggings and jersey dresses.

A few sheets, cellular blankets and muslins.

The things I’ve bought after DD that I’ve found essential are:

Perfect prep - although I wouldn’t bother with the day and night. Yes it’s quieter but if you’re awake because of a crying baby does that really matter?

More clothes once we worked out what we liked. I got given loads for use up to 6 months. I’ve bought stuff for 6-12 months in the sales we’ve just had as that’ll be the size she is when they are season appropriate. I saved a fortune. Also means when my maternity pay runs out I don’t need to buy her stuff.

Bouncy chair or somewhere to put them when not trying to get them to sleep - would have been useless in the first month.

A few basic toys like a playmat, rattle etc - again useless in the first month.

Forgot things like changing mat - I’m another who just uses that on the floor. I hate using changing tables when out and about but some love them.

Also a small amount of nappies and wipes etc - no point stocking up as you don’t know if they’ll be suitable for baby.

My personal essentials are
Travel system-we used it for 2.5 years with my daughter then put a buggy board on it and we have just got rid of it now my youngest is 18 Months (although he's small and still in the car seat)

Somewhere to sleep- I think this is personal to what you think your needs are. We had a crib

Clothes- we got lots of hand me downs or gifts

I didn't bother with a changing bag and just used a hand bag if only out for an hour or a small rucksack if out for the day.

We didn't bother with a changing table. Just did it on the floor.

As pp have said, everyone is different.

So since you are in Scotland look at what the baby box includes first, it’s got loads of great stuff including a digital thermometer and a stretchy wrap sling, some clothes etc. You can also use the box as the safe sleeping space if you want! I’m really looking forward to getting one this time round.
Other than that I think the genuine essentials are;
Clothes - there are a few in the baby box, not many. Multipacks of vests and sleepsuits, they grow so fast there’s no need to spend lots as long as they are soft and comfy. Some scratch mits. A hat. You’ll only need socks if they wear outfits.
Bathing - literally nothing needed, sink works when they are really tiny then in the bath with you or DH until they can sit up themselves, it’s lovely bonding time. Baby towels are cute but a hand towel then an adult towel works.
Sleeping - they need a safe place to sleep day and night - could be anything from the baby box, Moses basket, cot, co-sleeper etc. Mattress and 2 changes of linen for this if you have a tumble dryer, 3 if you don’t! Blankets, preferably cellular.
Transport - Car seat if you drive. Lie flat buggy, pram or similar although since you have the baby box sling this isn’t a total essential, most people find one very useful though.
Feeding - nipple cream, other things are useful but not totally essential for breastfeeding, if you leak you will need breastpads. If you plan to breastfeed just get one of the packs of ready made formula that comes in bottles in case you need it. Don’t spend loads on bottles and sterilisers and machines that may not get used. You can get these as you realise what you need later on depending on how feeding goes.
Changing, nappies, cotton wool pads, water, nappy cream (metanium - the yellow one), changing mat.

Everything else I honestly think is nice to have and works for some people not others. A changing table was essential for us, I am tall and found leaning over a bed or kneeling on the floor really uncomfortable but didn’t bother with any form of baby bath, others will totally disagree!

Muslins, muslins then more muslins

If you're in Scotland you don't really need anything bar nappies and wipes.

The baby box has all the basics in. It comes when you're about 34 weeks pregnant - honestly if you can wait for the box. It has some lovely stuff in including outfits (more than one), blanket, changing mat, the box the baby can sleep in, toys, books, creams, thermometers, a sling to carry baby in.

Buy some nappies and wipes and the rest you will work out as you go

Top tip: Amazon Prime Membership. If you live in an urban area they can deliver stuff the same day.