He got us both pregnant!

[Kvp21]

Hi everyone so my story is kind of long just looking for abit of advice really as I'm really struggling at the moment. Starting seeing a guy last year we split up end of June because I found out he was still seeing his ex. I found out I was pregnant and decided to go it alone. She is also pregnant 2 weeks behind me. I was devastated but tried to carry on on my own but she seems to have a massive problem with me is going round telling people our situation which is so embarrassing (she doesn't have much dignity or shame so has no problem telling the world) he contacts me everyday just general chit chat I wanted to get along for the sake of the baby because I think it should have a dad but I'm really struggling I'm still heartbroken I'm not over him even tho he treated me so badly I don't know why I can't get over him. She let's him stay at her house still and probably still sleeps with him, I'm trying to be strong and not sleep with him anymore because he's a sneaky liar! I just don't get what's wrong with me, why do I still love him and feel sorry for him. I feel like I'm made to look the idiot and he's getting away with it no1 is mad at him! I know I'm stupid and weak I don't need to be told that but just looking advice if anyone has been in a similar situation

Thanks

It's not clear from your post but why should she be ashamed exactly? If she was in a long term relationship with this man then he cheated with you or they had a break then he met you briefly and they got back together but he carried on seeing you, then none of this is shameful on her. I do however hope she is making informed choices.

The best thing for you is to focus on your baby. He's obviously no good for you and doesn't want to be with you. Stop the daily texting. That's not going to help you get over him.

He needs to give you space and you need to stop the texting. Sounds like he's enjoying the attention of two women. It must be a very hard situation for you but you have to limit the contact. You have no reason to speak to or see him now until after the baby arrives. He is no longer your partner and him contacting you constantly is making it difficult for you to manage your feelings

Oh and please ignore anything the other woman is saying or doing. Just don't engage

There comes a point where you have to be strong and get some dignity. He's having his cake and eating it too. Got 2 women pregnant, and still has the luxury of sleeping with you both! Wow!

I would set clear boundaries and tell him that you and him are just co parents and nothing more. Pregnancy is a sensitive and hormonal time, but come on, a little respect for yourself!

If you are still emotionally involved when the baby comes, it's going to be 10x worse because you'll be comparing everything to the other woman's child etc. Drown yourself in being a mum and keep that as your focus

Oh gosh! What an awful man! From the 'ex's' point of view... it sounds like she was never an ex and would view you as the other woman he had an affair with. I've unknowingly been 'the other woman' and it is very confusing to be in that position. You have to get this man out of your life as far as possible (obv if you want him to be involved with the baby some contact may be necessary) but distance yourself from their situation- that other woman is none or your business and vice versa. Be prepared to being up the baby without him as he does not sound reliable!

It is hard to fall our of love with someone just like that (I've been there) and must be especially hard when carrying his child but he is NOT good for you. The fact that you feel sorry for him makes me wonder if he isnbeinf emotionally manipulative. I personally found counselling useful to help me gain some perspective and it took me a long time to see things clearly. I wish you the best of luck but please focus on the baby and not him and the other woman.