Miscarriage Support

[Verity89]

Hi i am hoping to seek some support i guess.
I found out the devastating news on tuesday that Ive lost my twin babies at 6 weeks, when i was meant to be nearly 9 weeks (1st pregnancy) . I cant even explain how devastated i was, and still am. I went to the hospital for an NHS scan (my previous ones were private scans) and they have made me wait a whole week for an operation to have the babies removed. It was horrendous for me to wrap my head around having to carry my babies for another week when i knew they had died. Anyways i started spotting that evening and have continued to spot for the past 2 days with frequent cramping (moderate-mild). In a way i hope my babies will pass naturally before i need to operation, which i know will have a lot of phychological and phyical pain.
However i have 2 main questions on this possibility-

1. How long is this miscarriage likely to take?

1. What do i do with my babies when they pass? I cant find anything online about this but i just cant get my head around the idea of just flushing them down the toilet. It just seems so wrong. Equally i know anything else like burying the remains is going to be very disturbing to follow through. Im trying to put this discreetly but im hoping you ladies u derstand what im saying.

I'd be greatful for any advice to prepare me for what is soon to come (possibly?)
Thank you so much in advance to anyone who has also been through this trauma and is able to share some advice or support xx

I am so sorry for your loss.

From the experiences I've heard miscarriages vary massively in terms of the amount of time they take to occur and the amount of bleeding/pain involved.

You might get more responses if you try posting on the miscarriage board, under the body and soul section.

Again I'm so sorry to hear that this is happening to you, it really is horrible.

Hello

I am really sorry for your loss.

I am currently going through a miscarriage at the moment first pregnancy. Went for a 12 week scan to be told I have had a MMC and baby only made it to 6/8 weeks. Heartbroken the same as you feel.

I am now on day 10 of bleeding I had another scan on Thursday and sadly have not passed the baby yet. To be honest I thought I had because I have had a lot of clots, disappointing. However it seem to be getting lighter now and I'm fed up so I am going to call the EPU Monday and get some medication to help as I just want closure. Iv cried enough for this month and want it over with. I am scared to take medication but 12 days of bleeding is getting to me now.

I was told you can bleed for 2/3 weeks.

I have had bad cramps and I seem to get bad cramps then clotting maybe 10/15 mins after.

For me I'm not really going to look. I don't want to see anything to be honest. I was told I probably won't see much as it was so early on in the pregnancy. This is only my opinion.

I am not sure what to do if you want to see if you can catch the baby Sacs.

I think we were on the same March thread @Verity89.

I’m so, so sorry. It is a horrible thing to have to go through.

It is very possible that you won’t know if/when you pass the babies because they will be so small. If you do, and if you want to, you can take them to the hospital at your next appointment.

You may still require a D&C. The hospital will probably do an ultrasound at your next appointment to confirm whether or not it will be necessary.

Please take as much time as you need for yourself. I tried very hard to keep going with normal life when I had a MMC and it was a huge mistake. I needed to give myself time to mourn rather than bottle things up. Do you have people you can talk to about this?

Thank you ladies. Im so sorry you have also been thrpugh this horrible and heartbreaking experiance. I have found a small cardboard gift box which i may try to use to catch the remains. I think realisticallt this choice may be taken out of my hards though as @Uncreative has mentioned. I guess i just carry on waiting. @funnybunnyfluff I'm really sorry you are also going though this now. Im thinking of you. Lets hope we both dont have to go through this again in the future. X

Sorry this has happened to you

If you miscarry in hospital (including if you have the operation) they usually arrange cremation. Where I used to work it was done once a month at the local crematorium. I always liked the idea of all the “lost” babies being together.

I’m sure they would be able to offer this if you miscarried at home and took what you passed in although as others have said it can be difficult at this early stage as they are so small.

I have known other people who have had a small burial in the garden at home and planted a tree or rose to commemorate their baby.

There is no right or wrong, it just comes down to what you and your partner feel would be most comforting and right for you.

Thank you @darkstar for you kind message x