I want another child but my husband doesn’t

[LucyBe93]

Hi everyone,

I suppose I just want to see if I’m alone in this feeling and if not, will it ever go?

I’m lucky enough to have 3 beautiful healthy children with my youngest being nearly 6. Ever since he was born I knew I wanted a 4th and never hid this fact from my husband. Over the past year we have tried to conceive about 3 times, each time after a couple of months he has changed his mind. The last time was 2 days before I had a chemical pregnancy. 5 months on I still haven’t quite got over this, I mourn over what could have been and I suppose a little bit of resentment has crept into there too. I respect and understand my husband’s reasons for not wanting a 4th and I would never trick him into it however I can’t seem to move on. I would absolutely love to have another but deep down I’m 99% sure this will never happen. This saddens me so much, I find myself becoming tearful in private, I even dream most nights about being pregnant or having a baby...I feel as though it is all consuming.

How can I come to terms with this as I don’t feel I can go on like this forever as it is making me so unhappy?

TIA

I can't answer you if the feeling will ever go away as I haven't been though it. It has taken us 5 years and very luckily naturally conceived dc2. After trying for a while I panicked that DH would want to stop trying as it was becoming stressful on us both. I put off talking to him about it but eventually decided I had to be open and honest with him. I told him I would keep on ttc and would do whatever it takes. Luckily he agreed too but I was anxious that he may have wanted to stop.

My advice is to sit down with DH and have a really heartfelt conversation with him and tell him exactly how this is making you feel. I know you feel fairly certain of his thoughts but I would definitely want to make it clear how I felt too. Good luck x