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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When women say they’re pregnant with a ‘healthy’ baby

15 replies

SaturdaySauv · 14/09/2018 06:56

Do they mean that all scans/investigations to date have gone well?

I wish I could take for granted that I’m pregnant with a ‘healthy’ baby but until a baby arrives there’s just no knowing, surely?

Don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble- I’m just wondering if I can tap into the mindset.

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Liz3891 · 14/09/2018 08:20

I know what you mean and I'm always perplexed by it too. Particularly when people are trying to reassure those who drank early or did something else before they knew they were pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am all for reassuring these people! But doing so by saying "I drank before I knew and my (unborn) baby is healthy at 32 weeks" isn't actually helpful when most of the consequences of the action in question won't be apparent until after birth or even well after that.

Thetimehascometo · 14/09/2018 08:49

This frustrates me no end. Also people who say that ‘all that matters is the baby is healthy when it’s born’ my DD was prem and in NICU for 2 weeks, she wasn’t ‘healthy’ but that didn’t matter, we still loved her from the word go.

GlitterGlassEye · 14/09/2018 08:52

You can’t know for sure. My 3dc has a heart condition that was only detected at her 6 week check. Also you don’t get a medal for having ‘healthy’ children.

GlitterGlassEye · 14/09/2018 08:53

*dc3

Pollypocket090 · 14/09/2018 08:57

My 'healthy' baby turned out to have meningitis when she was born.

I think people just assume and blindly hope that their baby is happy, and that's what they mean. And I don't really blame them, other than taking normal precautions there isn't much sense in going through pregnancy thinking that they aren't.

BlueBug45 · 14/09/2018 09:04

The statements are to calm down posters who decide things like they want an abortion due to not finding out they were pregnant until they were last 6 weeks etc. In previous decades before social media and forums like MN women weren't so perfectionist so openly panicked in pregnancy or so fearful of labour.

No one knows whether a child is fully healthy or not, for example in my own case an illness from babyhood that has always caused problems was properly diagnosed when I was an adult.

fieryginger · 14/09/2018 09:06

Yes it boggles my mind too. I'm assuming they mean "so far so good".

SinkGirl · 14/09/2018 09:09

I had no idea one of my twins had any health issues until I needed an unexpected and immediate emcs. He has a host of issues including brain damage and a vision disorder. He was in nicu for two months. I think people just take a baby’s health for granted until they find out otherwise, not realising that so much can be wrong that you’d never know about during pregnancy. Some people just don’t know how lucky they are I guess.

Kittykat93 · 14/09/2018 09:10

I agree with you op, but don't agree with whoever said they hate people saying all that matters is a healthy baby. They aren't saying that poorly babies don't matter, they are just saying that we all hope for a baby with no serious illnesses. I couldn't take offence to that.

Thinkingallowed85 · 14/09/2018 09:14

Sometimes it’s used when people really mean “stop making insensitive remarks about the sex of my baby”!

MrsDrambuie · 14/09/2018 11:13

Totally agree with @Kittykat93 and @Thinkingaloud85 I don’t understand why so many people ask “and do you know what you are having?” sometimes I say “a baby!!” or occasionally “feels like an octopus!” (on a day where baby is particularly active). Most of the time I just say “I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter so long as he or she is healthy”. I don’t mean to cause anyone offence by saying that, I would think it’s a fairly normal thing to hope for, that your baby will be healthy.

Original poster

SaturdaySauv · 14/09/2018 13:23

I’m glad I’m not alone in finding this really odd!

It’s possibly heightened by the fact I had the Harmony test yesterday as both myself and DH are knocking on. I will be so relieved if ultimately we are lucky enough to have another healthy baby but I just can’t take it for granted.

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LBNM19 · 14/09/2018 13:58

I don't think people mean to offended, but yes if scans look good etc most people will assume that there baby is healthy.

I had my first child at 21 and everything looked good on scans after he was born etc but at 10 months he was diagnosed with a life limiting genetic condtion and people asked me all the time could they not tell off your scan etc.

Alot of parents don't realise that there are many things ultrasounds can't detect.

surreygirl1987 · 14/09/2018 22:36

Never actually heard a pregnant women claim that her baby is 'healthy'- didn't really the phrase was a thing!

Original poster

SaturdaySauv · 15/09/2018 06:57

surreygirl I’ve seen ‘I’m 13 (Or however many) weeks pregnant with a healthy baby.....’ on this board countless times lately. But thinking about it I don’t think I hear people say it in RL.

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