I wasn’t going to post this because I don’t want this to read like I have something against my in-laws and I’m just being mardy, but I just feel like I need a rant about this! Sorry if it’s long...
My partner works for a family business that his dad owns with another. It’s caused quite a riff between them and they don’t always have the best relationship. I have never been involved in this, I’ve always got along with his mum and dad fine. They are very different to my family, they are nice enough but they are cold and very money and business orientated. That’s the only way I can really describe it, I have never seen any compassion or emotion coming from them at all. I used to find them very strange but it’s something that I’ve just grown used to after 11 years.
We went for a private scan at 8 weeks and told the in laws at a meal afterwards and showed them the scan picture. My partner wasn’t overly keen in telling them until the 12 week scan (I’m now 13 weeks) but he needed to tell them because he needed the afternoon off work to attend the 12 week scan with me and wanted to give them a few weeks notice.
Mother in law was shown the scan photo and all she said was ‘oh no’. I laughed and said ‘what do you mean oh no’ and she said ‘not another one, I can’t afford another one’. She has one other grandchild (not ours, this is our first baby). I tried to laugh it off and say that we aren’t asking for her money, were just wanted to share some good news. They also can easily afford a grandchild, they co-own a huge business and recently purchased another property, but that’s not the point here. I hoped at first she was joking but she didn’t say a word all night and looked very grumpy. Father in law said absolutely nothing at all, not a word, other than making a joke to say the baby will look like a monkey jokily. My partner told them when the 12 week scan was and asked if he could have the afternoon off to attend with me and she said no, they’re too busy at work. Luckily he did come with me but only because I managed to move my appointment to the latest one in the day so he managed to work nearly a full day.
My partner says I should never have expected a different reaction from them, it’s just how they are, but did say that he was disappointed. I have been stewing over this for weeks and just feel more and more angry. I can’t understand it. We have been in a relationship for 11 years, owned our house for 6 of those and are in a very stable position. They have no reason to be annoyed that they have a grandchild on the way but that’s what it feels like.
My question is how would you react to this and what should I do? Should I just try and let this go and see if they become any happier about the pregnancy? I know I can’t force anybody to be happy but surely almost everybody expects a positive reaction from grandparents to be when sharing such wonderful news :(