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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Unplanned Pregnancy

6 replies

mummainneedofhelp · 10/09/2018 10:31

ello Ladies, I guess I just wanted someone to talk to! My Husband and I found out last week that I was pregnant, it was and still is quiet a shock. We have 2 children already and I know my husband wants to keep it that way.... I agree to a certain extent. I just don't know what to do the best. I change my mind daily, deep down I know that my 2 children are enough and I did not have any desire to have another. I am 38 and work 4 days a week and have our hands full alreayd. We must have had a contraception fail - we are usually very careful - ironically it took as a long time to fall pregnant with our other two. I have a termination booked in, but it is not for just over 2 weeks. I keep getting emotional, and I think it will only get worse the longer I wait. My first child was so good, but our second has been a bit more tricky. I feel like my choice will have a knock on affect on everyone and change all our lives, if we go ahead with the termination it is only me that will suffer - I honestly don't know if I will fall to pieces or just cope and carry on - I am usually very good and picking myself up. I have friends going though IVF and a friend who has had a miscarriage recently - So don't fell it would be fair to speak to them about this. Sorry for such a long post, I just feel a bit lost. My husband is great and will standby the decision that I make - even if it is not his preference. Any advise would be much appreciated!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Watto2b · 10/09/2018 18:15

I don't think anyone can tell you the right decision on this one. It's not the best situation to be in with your friends having issues it's hard that you aren't able to talk to them.

I'm a great believer of fate. My other half always says that things don't always work out as we planned (and I now know this from experience) but that we have to go with it.

You may not have envisioned three children but it seems that it's the path that is been put down for you. The biggest decision really is if you want to go with the flow or live a potential life with regrets of the baby you could have had / the sibling your children could have had, despite whether it being not in the plan - you could make a new plan of 3!

It's a difficult one, your husband would support you as you say either way x

mummainneedofhelp · 10/09/2018 19:22

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it. It's so tough. I am only 4 weeks currently so have plenty of time to decide what is best. X

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LBNM19 · 10/09/2018 23:55

It's hard I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant with my 4th baby he was unplanned.

We have a child who is severely disabled and a 3 and 1 year old. I was very upset when I found out as did not want any more children, I considered having a termination and my partner said he would support me either way.

In the end I decided that I couldn't do it and continued with my pregnancy. I've obviously got used to the idea and I am looking forward to having the baby now.

You've got to do what's right for you and you've got time so don't rush into anything. Xx

BlueKittens · 11/09/2018 00:05

I think you will know deep down what you want to do, you probably do need to talk it through with someone to help you work out what it is you want.

My second pregnancy is unplanned. Always said I only want one (work ft in good career). I was shocked and took me some time to come around to the idea, but now it’s happened I’m pleased, excited and convinced it was meant to be (because it was such a chance event- also contraceptive mishap perfectly timed).

I know plenty of families of 3 who’ve said a third hasn’t made much difference- except more expensive due to car change (for car seats), holidays, and childcare.

Haireverywhere · 11/09/2018 00:11

No one can tell you what to do I'm sorry.

As well as advice above I think just keep talking to DH. My friend said it wasn't the termination but the way my friend and her DH spoke about it (or rather didn't) that ended up causing long term issues for my friend afterwards.

mummainneedofhelp · 11/09/2018 18:54

Thanks everyone. X

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