Hi everyone,
You all have been so great at giving me advice before so I'm wanting it again please! I'm sorry this post is a bit long!
Right, so my close friend of 15 years has been TTC for 4 years (ish) she has PCOS. Last year when i got pregnant i held off telling her until i was 12 weeks, i decided to tell her by text because i wanted her to be able to express her true emotions at the point of reading it, and for her to process and get back to me when she was ready.
She messaged me at that time saying she needed time, but would get back to me. It took a few months....she eventually called me and said when she read my text she broke down in tears, she was so sad it wasn't her, she was devastated BUT that she has had time and is now happy for me. She has met my son once since he was born, and she will occasionally ask about him. I feel that telling her by text then was the right thing to do...
Anyway, fast forward to now. My baby is 4 months old and i am currently 8 weeks pregnant. She is about to embark on her IVF journey after her holiday this month. She said that she would not tell anyone if it is successful until 12 weeks. My question is, how do i tell her again? Do i tell her now before she starts IVF? Or after? What if her IVF doesn't work ? :( i don't want to stress her out at such a fragile time. If i wait and see what happens i will be halfway through this pregnancy when she announces (that would be the best possible outcome)
I honesly feel like i am not enjoying this pregnancy with this cloud hanging over me. I feel guilty and i don't know what to do? I do not and will not expect her to be happy for me, i know she will be gutted. How can i tell her this time? Should i tell her partner and ask him what he thinks i should do? She has a closer friend than me who i could also reach out to, although in the long term i am not sure if she would appreciate being told by someone else close to her or not?
Sorry again for long post! Please help!