Nesting anxiety

[katybob]

I’m 25 weeks. Me and oh are on the verge of moving but we don’t know when it will be. I need to nest and I can’t. I have a spare room full of boxes and rubbish we need to get rid of but my oh won’t me as he says we will move soon and it’s a waste of time setting thing up or st least tidying. I’ve tried to explain to him how I feel but he just says be patient and you can do it all in the new place. We’ve been waiting for someone to move out courts involved and they aren’t showing signs of leaving. I fear they won’t be gone and our baby’s due just before Christmas and I don’t think I will want to move if we get into October. I’m driving myself slightly insane. All my baby stuff is just sat there smiling baby s on the boxes clothes all waiting to be washed and folded neatly away. Crib set up with all the beautiful bedding. Ive cleaned the kitchen 3 times today. Ive run out of washing. What do I do

Stop focusing on it. You "need to nest" but your baby won't be in his or her own room anyway.

You're going to be somewhere when the baby arrives. You have 15 weeks till then.

If you made up cots or baskets now, they'd be all dusty by the time the baby arrives anyway.

You do still have time. However if there is stuff that you want to get rid of anyway then do it now as that means fewer things to move! 6 months prior to moving we started a massive clear-out and put things on Gumtree / Freecycle / donated to charity shop / put things in the bin. If we had moved all of it with us, I reckon it would have been an extra 3 car-loads (estate car)!

Having moved a lot of times (including moving countries when heavily pregnant and moving with newborns and toddlers) the best thing you can do is de clutter. There’s no point moving with stuff you don’t want/need, and also no sense in leaving the decluttering until the last minute.

To be honest, I did everything last minute, so last minute he was here at 35 weeks but we survived! I literally had done his washing the week before he came. As PP said if you're moving, concentrate on decluttering we've moved a lot and it always makes life easier. Plus when you've set everything up perfectly the time will drag as you're ready.

I completely understand am I was in the same situation myself until recently.

I felt so anxious and sad at the thought of now knowing where I'm going to be and with my DD approaching it was very overwhelming. We've now secured a place and it does take a huge weight off, but you still have plenty of time, I know as nesting mums we just want to start gutting out and preparing for our baby's and it's a natural part of the process, but you will have time to do this even if you move in late October.

Also it's actually a bonus because you will be nice and occupied right in the period where everyone says pregnancy starts to drag! X

I completely understand how you feel. I am now 35 weeks and we are in the middle of buying a house so currently living at my dads, its a nightmare because our baby stuff is building up, all her clothes are in our ottoman/snuzpod😬 and i have a baby bath full of the essentials under the snuzpod. Its driving me insane, i want to hang all her clothes up etc.

I just have to keep thinking that theres nothing i can do and it will be alright in the end! You do have lots of time

Go out, find someone to visit. I find sometimes it's the only way to break the nesting urge to clean. You've still got time for everything even in October, maybe write yourself a list of things you want to do for when you've moved?

I'd suggest organising smaller things. Sort your hospital bag, wash the babies things and arrange them a lovely storage box, make up a nappy changing bag of kit. That way wherever you are and when the time comes you've got ready made stations for you and baby.

At 25 weeks... that's pretty early still. We didn't even buy anything until 32 weeks and then still had two months to get stuff sorted. Can't you just wait...?

I agree that 25 weeks is early to do all this (I am also 25 weeks and haven’t even thought about sorting a nursery yet, let alone bought anything). I think it’s probably the unsettled feeling that’s making it all seem more urgent.
This is my third baby and we’ve never set up a crib or anything like that before about 34 weeks, if it’s any consolation. In fact with DD2 we didn’t set the cot up or do the nursery until she was about 6 months old.

I was in a similar situation. I was waiting to move and it fell through. We were in a studio flat, and decided we couldn't really move until after the baby was born. I was so worried, particularly with snooping health visitors looking at my cramped living situation and convinced myself they would see me as a bad mother (they were fine)! I know it's not what you wanted, but you will be fine. Babies just need food and cuddles in the early days. They won't be mobile, so you don't have to worry about boxes everywhere.

We did move when baby was 3 months and while it wasn't ideal being in this tiny flat surrounded by boxes waiting to move and unpacked, it was ok in the end. I found that the baby only wanted to sleep in with me anyway and I spent most of my time in the flat bfing in front of the telly, or getting out of the house for a stroll. I think my situation encouraged me to get out more!

I'm now expecting number 2 and in a 2 bed flat. I live in an expensive area, so want to get through mat leave before I move. I panicked about space at first, but soon realised that in the first 6 months you don't need heaps of space or things. In a way, it has encouraged me to declutter and get more storage. There's no harm in decluttering though. If you start with your stuff he may follow suit.