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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Rollercoaster week and currently not coping *trigger warning*

11 replies

purplestrawberry2 · 07/09/2018 21:41

I dont really know where to begin. Found out at 12 week scan we were having twins - huge shock and adjustment. Seeing them every 2 weeks on scan was so lovely, the way theyd interact. Then at 20 week scan out of the blue told I have twin to twin transfusion syndrome (a rare condition in twins that share a placenta - "recipient" gets too much blood and "donor" not enough). It got remarkably severe very quickly and I was urgently transferred to the other end of the country for laser treatment to help their blood supplies. Donor twin had no fluid around him and recipient's heart was struggling with the extra blood. Surgery went ok.

Morning after recipient twin had died on the scan. Told other twin would likely die too. Devastated doesnt quite cover the loss I feel.

Today we had a scan on the other twin - surprisingly he is alive and growing well. There may be some signs of anaemia and also his heart walls are thickened, probably because he has had to cope with less blood for so long. Also dont know any long term neurological damage.

Im so confused. Im happy surviving twin is improving but there is so much uncertainty and worries about him and his future if he does survive to be born. I cant focus my energy on him as still grieving for other twin. It is such a strange feeling I am finding it difficult.

OP posts:
Emmafh3 · 07/09/2018 22:14

I can't even begin to imagine the pains you must be feeling.
I think it is totally right for you to focus on grieving right now. I don't think there is anything you can actively do to alter what will be now, and when the time comes you need to be at your strongest and most able to provide the best for your twin.
There are miracles, plenty of them, where babies have blown uncertainty out of the water and come through all odds.
Here if you just need a talk

purplestrawberry2 · 08/09/2018 09:45

Thank you @Emmafh3

OP posts:
Hopehope20 · 08/09/2018 09:56

I just want to say,I am so sorry you are going through this. How very sad and stressful. I say....be kind to yourself...allow yourself to grieve and don't punish yourself for not being able to fully focus on the surviving twin. You are already doing so much to help him without even knowing it. Take each day as it comes...the future will take care of itself. I always worry about future situations but when you are in the middle of them you just...cope. keep talking to people, and we are always here to listen x

LuluBellaBlue · 08/09/2018 10:00

Just wanted to send some love your way Flowers

MustStopSnacking28 · 08/09/2018 11:08

I also want to send you best wishes and you and your beautiful babies are in my thoughts Flowers sorry I don’t have any advice to offer.

MrsMozart · 08/09/2018 11:10

All I can do is send you a hug and a handhold Flowers

PeoniesandPretties · 08/09/2018 11:51

Aw hun another hand hold here, I've gone so cold. Sending positive thoughts and love x

firsttimemum090 · 08/09/2018 12:53

aw hun sending handhold that sounds so frightening Flowers sending positive thoughts and love xxx

rubyroot · 08/09/2018 13:32

I have tears in my eyes, - so sorry. Don't have much constructive to add Flowers

purplestrawberry2 · 09/09/2018 09:39

Thank you everyone. it is helping just to talk about it. Today I dont feel anything at all

OP posts:
sexnotgender · 09/09/2018 09:41

No advice just another friendly shoulder to lean on Flowers

I’m 21 weeks pregnant and cannot imagine what you are going through.

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