I am at the end of my tether. For 6 weeks now, baby and I have been struggling with feeding. Prior to this, feeding was absolutely fine - a joy!All started when my milk supply regulated at around 10 weeks and my breasts became “soft” (completely normal, I know). Ever since then baby has had real difficulty removing milk from the breast. It’s as if, when my breasts were full, the milk was immediately there and he didn’t have to work hard to obtain it. There’d be one swallow to every suckle (and this has been the case on the odd occasion that I’ve gotten full again/engorged since these difficulties began). Now, he’ll have to suckle about 7 times before I hear a swallow - if that (sometimes no swallow is followed). Because of this, he gets really frustrated during feeds - latching on and then pulling off the breast, thrashing around, hitting the breast (which I found out is to stimulate milk flow), sweating, crying, sometimes even breast refusal... with the amount of difficulty he seems to be having you’d assume there was NO milk inside the breast, but when I hand express to make sure there is, there’s always milk there (although I know my supply has definitely suffered during this time because he’s definitely feeding less and removing less milk, in addition to a decrease in wet nappies - something that has really terrified me).
I’ve since seen two IBCLCs - one who diagnosed him with posterior tongue-tie, and one who performed the separation. It was thought that his tongue’s restricted mobility (from the TT) made it difficult for him to reach the milk since my breasts were softer and he was no longer compensating by relying on my initial oversupply. However, the problem remains - in fact, it’s getting worse. Until a week ago, the only times he WOULD remove milk effectively were 1) for about a minute during letdown, where the flow of milk was stronger which made it easier for him to reach it, 2) if I fed him in his sleep (it got to the point where this was the only way he’d successfully feed), 3) if I’d become full or engorged on the odd occasion. Since a week ago, we’re even struggling to feed during letdown, dream feeds, and sometimes even when my breasts become slighter fuller again! It’s as if he’s losing his ability to use his tongue!
Things I’ve tried but don’t seem to work include:
• Stimulating letdown by pumping or hand-expressing then popping him onto the breast, so he doesn’t have to wait for milk. He’ll just pull off. HE seems to want to be the one to stimulate letdown. I initially thought the problem was that he was impatient, but I’ve come to realise that he’s actually struggling with the technicality of reaching/removing milk - he’s not just lazy/impatient
• Breast compression. I’ve looked at several videos on how to do breast compression and I’m sure I’m doing it right, but it doesn’t make much difference - if any
• Changing feeding positions, even the ones that are supposed to increase milk flow
• Burping him during feeds to decrease fussiness
• Giving him a bottle to ‘top him up’ - he won’t take it. On the occasions where he really won’t feed, we’ve had to feed him expressed milk trough a syringe
I’ve tried everything, it seems. It feels like nobody can help me - not even professionals. It seems as though this is a very unique case we’re experiencing.
Despite all of this, he has remained on the 75th percentile but I’m sure his weight will begin to plateau and then decrease pretty soon. He’s also been completely fine in himself aside from when I’m trying to feed him.
I’m completely perplexed as to what the issue is and how to tackle it. If the issue is supply (which would have resulted from him feeding less and removing less milk from my breasts), ‘feeding more often’ is tricky based on the very fact that he’s STRUGGLING to feed! Also, pumping/hand expressing (I prefer the latter) to maintain supply is also tricky because the softer my breasts are, the harder it is to feed him. By pumping/hand expressing between feeds, I’ll only be draining my breasts further and making them MORE soft for the next feed. It doesn’t help that, because of our difficulties, he doesn’t have set feeds anymore - he more so feeds in dribs and drabs throughout the day. This makes it hard to know when to pump or hand express, because there’s no such thing as ‘in between feeds’ anymore - we’re constantly trying to feed!
Is there anybody out there who has faced similar difficulties or who can help me? This is the most stressful thing I’ve experienced in my 25 years of life!
I really, really, really want to make breastfeeding work. What adds to the stress is the fact that I’ve never been able to produce much expressed milk, so I don’t even have the option of expressing full-time (in addition to the fact that he won’t take the bottle). I really want him to receive breast milk because I’m vegan and had planned to raise him vegan. There’s only one brand of vegan formula (SMA WySoy) that’s suitable for babies his age but most health-conscious vegans (including myself) steer clear of soy for various reasons (including the high levels is oestrogen - and he’s a boy). Even if I were to substitute, I’d still be trying my best to regain our breastfeeding relationship, although I know that substituting decreases supply as the demand is less - this is all very tricky!
As you can see, I’m in a real mess! It feels as though the odds are against us in every single direction!
Any advice will be useful.
Thank you!