Single now.. routine for newborn ?

[Yelsgirl]

So I’m expecting a baby in 9 weeks, Partner left me and I have a 3 year old with my ex.
I’m having a section so my mums friend is coming in the section with me as I want someone supportive in there with me.

My issue is realistically when does the dad see the baby? I know he will come to the hospital but after this. Obviously I’m massively hurt by him leaving me- do I have to have an open door policy on my house still? Baring in mind my 3 year old is here too who’s pretty confused by someone walking out without a bye and never coming back.
Realistically when would he expect to have her on his own ?
I just want what’s best for her but I really can’t work out how it will work out !

Also posted in relationships !

No, you do not have to have an open door policy! You can arrange visiting times to whenever suits you and your babies feeding pattern.

Is he likely to get aggy about it?

Yes which is what worries me !
He presumed I will have her and he will come round everyday and can come whenever he wants. I want to get boundaries but I just don’t know what to suggest
I know the times I’ll need the actual help is during the night !

You also don’t have to let him visit in the hospital if you don’t Want to.

You could suggest hour long visits at your home, a couple of times a week to start with, perhaps while your 3yo is elsewhere.

Firstly, There is no court in the land that will allow a newborn to be taken from its mother, so bear that mind if he starts threats over access and custody.

How are you planning to feed? If you are bf'ing then that will obviously restrict times on when he can visit and would rule out him being able to have baby at a different venue.

How do you feel about him coming every day? Is he likely to stick to an agreement?

I’m at the minute planning to formula feed, this was based on the plan there would be two of us .. so two of us to help! So BF is being considered more.

I think the thing that concerns me is if he comes everyday is my 3 year old ?
Obviously he just walked out on him without a bye.
And then it’s the fact that I’m so disappointed in how he’s acted and what he’s done- I can’t imagine that when the baby has come ill completly forget it. And I’m worried I’ll be bitter that I’m left doing nights and mornings on my own ! :(

Are both children his?

No my 3 year old is with my ex- which is why it’s a struggle because obviously we all lived together and has now walked out and not come back to see him since

I didn’t even sleep last night because I’m so worried about it all when she arrives

Does your 3yo do nursery or go to his grandma’s on a regular basis. I’d schedule visits to coincide.
And make it clear to baby’s father that he has already caused a lot of hurt, and you are trying to avoid and more damage for your ds.

Yes he goes to nursery 3 days a week, it’s just getting him there that I’ll need help with as I’m having an ELCS
My mum passed so only family to help is my dad and god bless him hes practical but he isn’t amazing with kids !