Idk what to do.
I had an unplanned pregnancy and been struggling and trying to decide what to do since
Some background,
I’m 26 my bf is 25. Been together 3 1/2 years. We had an abortion a year and a half ago our birth control failed again. Pls don’t judge me, it was the hardest thing I choose to do in my life I still cry about it but I don’t regret it bc I wouldn’t have been able to have a child at the time like there was no chance, I had the abortion at 6 and. A half weeks, a week after I found out (I went to the clinic three times and backed out each time till I finally did it) and I had a medical abortion, which I felt was more natural but a lot more traumatizing bc it wasn’t over right away.
Well, now, I’m almsot ten weeeks. I’m really really depressed. When I first found out, I thought, I’m gonna go straight to the clinic and not tell one person, I was scared I would regret and I told a couple people for support. Maybe of whom are pro life and pretty much force/pressure me to keep, I’m not blaming it on them but it’s honestly the reason why I haven’t gone. It’s already something I don’t wanna do, ans then feeling pressured and stuf makes me not do it.
I didn’t want a kid right now becaus I was trying to establish my life and still finding myself, I was gonna work tons and spend my summer at the beach. But I have been in my 90 degree House with no AC feeling hopeless everyday on my bed. I quit my job a coupe days ago. I don’t talk to anyone, I’m so miserable..
I can tell my bf wants to keep it now, but he’s not struggling like me. I wanana eat right, sleep right, and cook my own meals and be able to relax- which I can’t do I my mothers house (or husband smokes inside all day, and she has like 5 cats it’s not clean).
I keep telling my boyfriend we need a place together ASAP (he always lives with his mom) and he said ok but only looked at one place, he wants me to do all the work even though werrr gonna be living where he wants, etc since he’s paying for it.
I’m so depressed at my moms. We’ve known for like 5 weeks or something. I don’t know what to do but o feel like my boyfriend is lazy and just lounging around while I’m suffering everyday, doing the whole pregnancy alone, wondering if I’ll have a place to live
I keep thinking I would do be happier if I abort. I can go back to my life, save money, move where I want, and not be in debt to a man...but emotionally I don’t want an abortion. Logistically it seems like the right thing to do.
Can anyone help me :/