Am I being childish

[lucy19977]

Hi I'm just looking for some advice...

So basically I posted on Monday about how my Ex bfs sister works at my delivery hospital as a doctor and she has sent me various nasty messages saying that I'm ruining her brothers life by having a baby and I should get an abortion and that I'm mental for keeping it and no one wants it etc (she's a nasty piece of work and said all this while we were still together)

My ex and I found out I was pregnant suddenly and decided to keep the baby and we were going to move in together etc and then he told his sister about the baby and he turned really nasty saying that his sister said it wasn't too late for an abortion (I was 17 weeks) and then after weeks of not speaking to me and making me feel like shit he ended our relationship about 5/6 weeks ago.

Basically we fought a lot but he said he wants to be part of my baby's life so I'm willing to be civil as I don't want to go to court or have any legal action.

In one of our most recent arguments he said that his sister can go through my medical records and turn up at my labour so this made me anxious and I got my records checked and everything is fine....

But he also said in that argument that I should watch myself if I ever see his sister or the street (I'm am not a violent person and this really worried me) she's almost 40 and I am 21.

My ex and I have been civil but I have decided that I don't want her anywhere near me including visiting at the hospital or coming to my house to see the baby and I said she is welcome to see baby when my ex has him but not when I'm around.

I spoke to my ex about this and he said I was ridiculous and childish and I can't exclude one of his family members. I'm unsure what to do as I want to be civil but she really worries me and I am still young so I'm not always the most mature at times 😂

I appreciate any advice and sorry for the long post

If she is a doctor, you can report her to the general medical council:

www.gmc-uk.org/concerns

"We take concerns raised about a doctor’s behaviour, health or performance seriously. Here you'll find details on the type of concerns we can investigate, and the actions we can take to protect public safety and confidence in doctors."

@BasicUsername Thank you so much I'll definitely look into it as I feel her behaviour is uncalled for!

I’m with the previous poster ^^^. Sorry you are going through this.

You could also report her to the NHS:

www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/how-to-complain-to-the-nhs/

And also to the Patient Advice and Liason Service (PALS) at the hospital that she works at.

Personally, I'd report her to all three. If she is making threats to physically harm you, you can also make a report to the police.

Yeah I'd defo report her and you being the one who is giving birth should be allowed to request who you do & don't want in the Labour suite hun.x

Is it HER who's making these threats or just him making stuff up? I agree reply her immediately if it's from her!

I was about to ask the same question as surreygirl. From your post it sounds like a lot of this is hearsay. You can only report her for what she’s said/done directly to you.

Is there another hospital close by?
You can request your midwife to refer you there instead.

No, you aren’t being childish. You need to keep her away from you which is perfectly your right. I remember your previous post. I would let your midwife know your concerns.

I don't think you should put your ex on the birth certificate or have any contact with him. By using his sister as a threat to you, he is basically threatening you himself.

He is also manipulative and emotionally abusive.

Report his sister to the GMC. I'm doubting their story about her being a doctor - do you have absolute proof of this, as I think they may be lying.

I would avoid them both for your sake and the sake of your unborn child.

Report as above she is being a vicious bitch AND going through medical records without your consent could get her in hot water.
Bring MW up to speed so she is aware in case anything kicks off during labour.

I would also think massively about putting ec on the BC. Tbh he sounds just as unstable as she does - don't give him leverage over you. If he isn't on the BC he has no say in your child - and if he dragged you to court for PR you simply tell the judge why you felt unable to add him

You're well within your rights to say you don't want her near the baby, she sounds unstable.

Keep all the messages she sends you. Her behaviour is very unprofessional and I'm sure would be treated as misconduct if you reported her. I would report her if I were you, she doesn't sound like the sort of person who should be a dr.

Are you comfortable with your midwife? Maybe mention it to her.

Also, your ex is making veiled threats, maybe mention this to your midwife too, or contact a domestic abuse charity for advice, or report to police. You shouldn't have to be dealing with this, especially while pregnant

He sounds a right prat but his sister is extremely bitchy and unethical.
Report her, it's not a small issue which should be let go, it's BIG.

I hope life improves for you. Seems terribly sad considering you were engaged and about to move in together, not as if you'd only been together five minutes.

I'm with the other posters. Report her! She has no right to be the room when you give birth.

You're not being childish at all x

I would suggest that we’re only hearing one side here

Think won’t end well with the ex believe me. Civil doesn’t exist if the ex is nasty and unreasonable and nasty like yours sounds, believe me I tried for two years with my me we separated when she was 4 weeks old she’s now 2 and 3 months and it will be going to court. Keep ALL messages and back them up. You may just need these. Also you are well within your right to say this and believe me when you have the baby you may feel differently about her seeing t after the threats she’s made.