Almost Due Date and Scared

[Sept18]

Hi all,

I'm 37+4 and feeling very emotional and scared. I'm really scared about having a baby (first baby - unplanned) and dreading the moment my waters break. I feel awful as most people can't wait to meet their child. I'm excited to meet her but I've got so many worries about raising her, I'm scared I'm going to struggle mentally too. I'm feeling very unsupported by DP but that would be a whole different thread. I try to voice my worries but he just says 'don't be silly'. I don't have much of a support network close to me.
I'm just writing this to find out if anyone felt the same and did it change when your child was born?

Yes this is normal. It's a huge life changing experience but an amazing one and so worth it! Try not to think too far ahead. Concentrate on thinking positively about the labour. It's tough, but you will get through it and when they hand you your baby it's the best feeling in the world. After that just focus on one day at a time- don't be thinking about raising her overall, just looking after her each day. You will be amazed at how you just figure things out by trying different things, for example is she hungry, tired, dirty nappy- just try one by one and you'll soon find a pattern

Hi Kim thank you for your reply, that has really helped, especially the advice about a day at a time.
I've been very laid back this whole pregnancy and I think the magnitude of it all has just hit me. I'm mainly worried that they'll hand me my baby and I won't feel that overwhelming love.

OP if you don't feel overwhelming love immediately it's normal.

I've been lucky to be one of the oldest in my social groups to have children and luckily they have been happy to discuss the emotional aspect with me and each other. So some of the stuff you hear or read is completely sh*t.

Oh and I had to be stitched up before they handed baby over to me.

It's definitely normal. Having a baby is the biggest life change you will ever go through, even the most laid back woman will surely have moments of doubt and anxiety! I had a massive meltdown about 37 weeks and sobbed to my partner that I had changed my mind and I didn't want to be pregnant anymore

I'm 39 weeks now and feeling a lot more positive - could just be the hormones getting you down this week and it will pass. What helped me was focussing on why I was doing this - to build a family with my DP. Like KIMv's advice to take it a day at a time, and remember it's not only you that's responsible for raising them - you have a DP. You got this

I wouldn't worry too much about the "water breaking" moment - chances are they won't break until you're well into labour and quite close to birth. Only a small minority of women have their waters break prior to labour.

You probably WON'T feel a rush of overwhelming love when your baby is first handed to you. Chances are you'll be tired, confused and a bit out of it. My thoughts when my DC1 was handed to me were more along the lines of "what the fuck is that thing?" He's nearly 4 now and I love him more than I ever could have imagined. Give yourself time to get to know your baby. You will fall in love with them by caring for them.

There are going to be hard times ahead, but you'll get through them and things will work out. I promise.

Thank you all for your kind replies. I suppose this is part of pregnancy that people rarely talk about, glad to know I'm not alone but hoping this feeling passes quickly!

Also, try not to build it up too much like the way they show it in the movies. I didn't have that big 'waters breaking' moment- it was all quite calm. Also as others mentioned, that feeling of love can sometimes take a while to hit. I had quite a tough labour so was just so relieved and happy that she was healthy and safe when they handed her to me. The love can also come with time when you're recovered and she's settled (the first few weeks can be tough). Mine is 11 weeks old and she's starting to smile and giggle now (and sleep!)