Perineal massage - are my insides normal post 3rd degree tear??

[Heatherbaby]

Hi everyone

Can someone please advise if my insides sound normal ?

I'm due in 4 weeks and decided to start perineal massage with My Expert Midwife - Prep your Bits oil today.

12 months ago I had a 3a degree tear with DD1 which was repaired in surgery with a spinal tap after the birth. I wasn't traumatised by this but it did ruin the overall as planned au natural waterbirth I'd just had!

I haven't been examined since but don't have any long term issues with the area I don't think. Or do I? Doing a number 2 is a tad harder than it used to be and wiping can take longer. The area feels tender to poke and prod.

I was dead set on having another midwife led water birth, and on the basis I reported no fecal incontinence, I have been signed off for this.

But today, following the first massage - I'm wondering if I've reported my symptoms inaccurately and that I do have a problem after all.

So today, at first look the perineum looked totally fine. Couldn't see any scarring, area looked textbook like a womans bits should. But then I did the round the area stretching with my thumb inserted...

The bottom of the vagina wall seemed empty like there's a gap in the muscle... whereas around it it is firm. I am not really familiar with my own lady garden and don't know what normal should feel like. It was a little tender to stretch and pushing down towards the anus to stretch did give me the sensation of needing a number 2.

I really want to avoid a major tear again but am so scared of interventions and a c sec.

Please help - does it sound as though I haven't healed properly? I generally haven't had major issues down there - especially before I got pregnant again. No wind incontinence and no leakage. Just tenderness if poked and now the feeling of a gap when I go around the internal v passage. Its like a fold of tissue at the bottom whereas I assumed it should be like a solid tube (sorry I don't know my own anatomy very well to know what's normal!)

I would appreciate any advice or opinions and apologies for the TMI!

I would see if you can book in with a good women's health physio. It can be quite common for vaginal muscles to be torn during delivery and for there to be a gap in the muscles afterward, a physio should be able to tell you what's going on.

Thanks for your response. I don't know if I was just being paranoid last night. I spent hours researching on Dr Google at all sorts of prolapse etc and I just don't have to associated symptoms. I think I'm just not familiar with my own physiology.

I'm going to continue with the massage and then ask my midwife what she thinks at my next appointment.

Is there any chance they can do an internal scan as sometimes the muscles can be more affected than originally thought? I had a 3b so want to see if I can. Have a scan before deciding c section or v birth

I could possibly be in denial but I cannot stand the thought of a c section unless its an emergency at the time, in which case I have no choice. Also im 4w from due date so I can't even begin to mentally prepare for the possibility my insides are badly damaged.

I am dead set on baby 2 slipping out in the birthing pool with zero complications. Call me naive!

I am going to see if the midwife is willing to give me a physical exam at my next appt and see if there is any major problem.

I had a 3b and had a scan which showed some damage and was given the option of a c section or an episiotomy lateral to the scar tissue.

@sproutsandparsnips what did you opt for and how was your birth experience if you've had your baby, if you don't mind me asking x

Yes it was 8 years ago, I opted for a csection, and whilst I felt a bit like I'd cheated not going through labour it meant I got to hold ds for longer and not be whipped back off to theatre, so in general a positive experience.

Could you ask your midwife to have a look for you? I’m sure that this is a common situation. She would be able to give you feedback and a plan. It’s not worth stressing about in your own.

@sproutsandparsnips I'm glad it was a positive experience. So such thing as cheating when birthing a child - I'm just a wimp re surgery.

@aetw thank you for sensible advice. Gonna ask the midwife for a physical examination next visit. If anyone knows what a normal vajayjay is it's a midwife

Any update OP?? Hope evwrything is well