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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

New relationship 43 Really Broody

15 replies

Lostlily · 05/09/2018 21:11

I am in a new relationship with the most wonderful man, I have a teenage daughter who went to live with her dad after our divorce and I have wanted another baby for the last 8 years! My ex would never have one and I am so sad being childless

I am too old aren't I 😔
I know it's a mad idea but I would love the chance to start again, my partner is amazing and I Can't stop thinking about it

OP posts:

Hellywelly10 · 05/09/2018 21:13

Have you spoken to your partner about this?

Original poster

Lostlily · 05/09/2018 21:16

We have both said how wonderful it would've been to have has children together
How we wish we had met a bit younger 🙄 I haven't actually said "I want one now"

I am trying to quash my feelings because I'm frightened we are too old

OP posts:

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 05/09/2018 21:17

I met dh at 41 and had ds at 43!!
Go for it!!

Original poster

Lostlily · 05/09/2018 21:21

The thought of starting all over again and at my age with some one new terrifies me, especially after 16 years of marriage and being left gobsmacked by my ex's infidelity and me having NO idea!
I still feel very vulnerable
But I am crazy about him and so broody

OP posts:

butlerswharf · 05/09/2018 21:24

It's only too old if you feel it is. In general I absolutely don't think it's too old at all.

kk66 · 05/09/2018 21:29

I was almost 44 having my 3rd! It's doable (and getting more common). I'd say clean up your diet, supplements, exercise etc to maximise chances and go for it!

Lumpy76 · 05/09/2018 22:15

I got pregnant 2 month of trying at 42...not my first baby...had my last one age 40. I don’t feel any different (except more anxious) than I was at 25 having my first!! Go for it I say!

Lumpy76 · 05/09/2018 22:15

Should read 2nd month of trying

Original poster

Lostlily · 07/09/2018 09:39

It's balancing my bloodiness and longing for a child with the risk of what it would do to a new relationship and the starting again at our age when we could ( and some say should) be starting to enjoy the freedom and income of two full time wages and teenage independent children 😏😫
Am I being selfish?

OP posts:

Heatherbaby · 07/09/2018 09:51

Are you too old - I really don't think so. All my baby mom friends are all in their early 40s so its clearly more common and do-able than publicly perceived.

However balancing it with the new relationship and sacrificing the financial freedom afforded with older children is something for you to consider personally. Ultimately, you gut feeling and longing will tell you which is more important but I think its important to talk to your new partner and also not to rush things xx

stellabird · 07/09/2018 09:56

You are not necessarily too old - although your fertility is declining at this stage of life. BUT I'd be more worried about the fact that this is a new relationship. It's all very well talking about it when you are in the first flush of a relationship . But that doesn't mean that he would be thrilled to find his new girlfriend was actually pregnant before you'd had a chance to get past the honeymoon stage.

Bobba88 · 07/09/2018 16:15

I had longed for a second baby for the past 6 years and had difficulty conceiving with my ex. 9 months after we split, I met the most wonderful man. I laid my cards on the table about what I wanted from our relationship. 9 months after that I'm pregnant. Yes its soon but we are blissfully happy. Life's too short, do what makes you happy.

WhirlingTurkey · 07/09/2018 16:37

You know what, if it is something you really want, then I would talk to your partner and see what he says! Would you regret it in the future do you think? If you don't ask him what he thinks, you will never know. It's a conversation I would want to have. How "new" is the relationship? Presumably not absolutely brand new if you have actually talked about children.
FWIW my Grandmother had my mum at 46 (in 1948!), so I don't think you are "too old" at all.

WhirlingTurkey · 07/09/2018 16:38

When I said "would you regret it in the future" I meant regret not exploring the possibility of another child. Just to clarify!

BlueBug45 · 07/09/2018 16:44

Holding my 4 day old at aged 43 concieved with no difficulty and delivered vaginally much quicker than HCP thought. There is a history on my maternal, including my mother with me, and paternal sides of women having babies in their 40s and early 50s but not normally there first. On the other hand I have friends' who have already reached the menopause and others who can't get pregnant. If you want a baby you need to have a serious discussion with your OH to see where he stands and how far you are willing to go to get pregnant. Also make sure you both are aware and understand how involved he wants to be as I've personally noticed lots of older fathers are willing and will take time away from work to be involved in the day to day of their child(ren)'s lives unlike if they were younger regardless how your relationship turns out as a couple.

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