I don't even know where to start .. motherhood help

[qwertt12]

Hi,

first of all I am an emotional wreck at the moment, please only nice helpful suggestions.

I am in a happy relationship me (20) other Half (25)

a few months ago I sadly had a miscarriage ( the pregnancy was not planned ) it was a rollercoaster of emotions (was early stages)

I have always been a maternal person

I struggled for quite a while with what had happened, but I feel relatively happy now. I just lay awake every night + every hour in the day is spent thinking of children's names, what it would be like, what I would need to change and so on... it excites me and also scares me.

I do think about all the good and the bad, but deep down all I can think about is children!

My other half said he is more than happy to try if it is what I want, he did also add the comment that he doest even know how to be a dad, but I suppose who knows how to be a dad? is there a rule book? haha

I am rambling on, really I want someone to tell me I am okay, and I should follow my gut.

if any one has got to the end of this, thank you for hearing me out x

If your in a stable relationship, secure home and financially ok why not go for it?

Hi, firstly sorry about your miscarriage, I've personally never experienced one but close friends and family have and it's not something that is ever easy.

I had NEVER really been around babies and i was the youngest in my own family.. no babies from cousins etc but i always knew i wanted kids... so when i fell pregnant with my first at 18 with my partner (22) i was in complete shock but the news was very much welcomed!

Myself and my now husband both didn't know how to be parents but we both learnt along the way, fast forward nearly 10 years & I'm 34 weeks with #4, i feel incredibly grateful and lucky to have the children i have and my husband.

At times it hasn't been easy but it's not meant to be, i think its great you have a partner who is supportive and all i can say is no-one is ever ready to be a parent when it's something you haven't experienced but it is such a rewarding thing.

I can't tell you it will be ok but i wish you all the luck & listen to your heart, x

Thank you so much for bothering to listen to me!

you sound like you have life sorted (even the bad times) all the best with the 4th!

hopefully next time we talk I will be chattering about morning sickness and sore boobs haha xx once again thank you so much x

did you find any problems between your relationship - and any tips on how to help my partner feel better about being a worried first time dad x

You're more than welcome!

We've learnt to not dwell on what ifs & focus on the present & we try to maintain communication! It's easy to forget that you're not just mum & dad sometimes.

It sounds like you are pretty ready for the morning sickness & sore boobs to even consider that 😊 so good luck & enjoy trying ttc again when u do.

Not so much tips but i found taking away the pressure of being "perfect" is always good, just reassure him that he has nothing to prove to you, you're in this together, you will go through the good, the bad & everything in between together, there is no perfect parent.

Only you together can face the future and becoming parents but embrace it but just remember it's completely natural to be nervous. X