Pregnant friend

[PlatinumDollFace]

I have just discovered one of my friends is 11 weeks pregnant and i'm completely over the moon for her. She is awaiting her scan date before she tells anyone so only a handful know.

My issue is we have another friend who is struggling to conceive and is about to start IVF. When i told her i was expecting my 2nd child, i told her i didn't expect her to be happy and she didn't have to pretend to be and i wouldn't take it personally. She never acknowledged my pregnancy and i completely understood that and not in the slightest upset about it. I imagine this is how i would've reacted had i been in this position.

Anyway, my question is, do i give her a heads up about our friends pregnancy or do i not say anything and wait for her to find out, probably through facebook? Our pregnant friend has no idea she is starting IVF.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

I'd probably just let her find out? Unless you feel like she'd appreciate the heads up? X

I would stay out of it personally. Yes, it is upsetting seeing pregnancy announcements on fb when you're struggling to conceive, but knowing before won't really lessen her sadness, and it's not your news to share.

I've been on both sides of this, so I am sympathetic to your friend, and I hope her IVF is successful. I found being told face to face far tougher than social media announcements tbh, so unless pregnant friend is likely to do that, then I really wouldn't say anything.

Is your pregnant friend also a friend of the person struggling to conceive? If so I'd say it is the pregnant friend's responsibility to handle this and not yourself (though it's obvious you're a very good friend who just wants to protect her feelings).

Maybe don't tell your pregnant friend that this other person is starting IVF as it may not be something she wants to be shared. However, you could remind her of your 2nd pregnancy and suggest that she consider breaking it to this person privately before announcing it publicly.

Ultimately though, it is your pregnant friend's choice as to how she breaks the news to people. All you can do is advise. And if the other friend does find out via Facebook, she can't blame you for not telling her as it isn't your news to tell.

Good luck

It's not your news to share. As heatbreaking as fertility issues are, you're not able to protect your friend from the inevitable and you may risk upsetting your pregnant friend if she finds out you broke her confidence.

Thank you all for the advice, it's been really helpful. beccii161016 yes my friend who is struggling is a friend of my pregnant friend but not close enough to know about the IVF. I would never dream of telling our pregnant friend about that either.

I guess i can't protect her from these sorts of things, but i won't say anything and let her find out for herself and deal with it in her own way.

Thank all you lovely ladies for your help.