Pregnant and no idea how to deal with this

[CharlesKitty]

Just found out I am around 5 weeks pregnant and am totally shell shocked. Now seems like such a bad time for this both financially (partner and I are trying to save for a house deposit so we can head back to our home state) career wise and we just booked an overseas holiday! We have no family anywhere near us, so we would be totally alone. I just want to cry.

At the same time we always planned to maybe have kids in the future, but not for another year or two.I am also aware that I am not getting any younger (just turned 29). Sorry for the rant, I just feel so shocked and confused

It's totally normal to feel this this instant you find out, but give it a few days and your shock turns to some more rational feelings and a lot of excitement and joy (at least for me!)

I was also not in the best situation after having quit my job and DP and me just moved into a new flat he bought. Don't rush for now and just let the feelings settle in!

I think the cliché of it’s never the right time I’d true and if you want children with your partner I’m sure you will make it work! I waited until 31 to start trying and struggled to conceive for 3 years. Maybe this is the right time for you without you knowing.

I felt the same as you, not an ideal situation, my OH doesnt work right now so im the sole bread winner, but ive known people in worse, way worse, situations and they made it work.
Makes me feel better, i dont think anyone is ever in their ideal situation, just make a plan :)

I know this is a shock, but just take your time to wrap your head round it; at 5 weeks you've got plenty of time to make a decision about whether to keep it.

My situation is similar to yours (the life stage things you mention) and I'm pregnant with a very much planned baby!

We're saving for a deposit too, we're just being realistic that it's going to take a few years. Try to save as much as possible during your pregnancy; you've got 8 more months. Could you afford to live on one persons wage and put the rest in savings?

When and where is your holiday? I've been on loads of holidays while pregnant and it's been absolutely fine.

My DH and I don't have any family nearby, but we're not worried. Are you entitled to maternity leave? Can you afford to reduce your hours afterwards and/or pay for childcare?

Thanks everyone, some great advice here. It's strange what a couple of days can do. I'm still completely confused as now my heart is totally onbord with having this baby but my head says no. The holiday was to India for a close friends wedding, but that might be a bit of a stretch as it's not until the end of the year and I've already spend the last two days throwing up, so hopefully that passes soon.

Oh and I already feel that I am a terrible mother as I drank rather heavily last month and my diet has been horrible (due to my partners and I birthdays, and a trip interstate to see family and friends). As well as using medications not recommend during pregnancy. I worry I have already caused damage I wish I had known...

Do t worry about diet, that's not relevant at this point. Most medications are not recommended during pregnancy as they simply can't be tested for safety. That doesn't mean they're actively harmful though. My understanding of episodes of drinking in the very early stages of pregnancy are that it is less of an issue than drinking continually throughout early pregnancy. Many women aren't aware they are pregnant and have done exactly the same, and encountered no problems. Just talk it through with the relevant healthcare professional when you have you first appointment, and try not to beat yourself up about it until then.

"Morning" sickness usually wanes around 12 weeks ish, so you may well find that isn't an issue for the wedding at the end of the year.

With regards to drinking, many women don’t find out until least 5 weeks, and will have consumed numerous bottle of wine etc in the mean time. Likewise for medication. As long as you are not on a medication that is known to be harmful to the embryo you should be fine. Just mention to your Doctor what you have taken for peace of mind. Congratulations

You're likely to feel great by December with all that lovely second trimester energy... But... India is high risk for zika, so you may need to give the wedding a miss unfortunately.