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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Partner and sex

14 replies

CathyandHeathcliff · 29/08/2018 17:09

This is a bit of a sensitive subject, I’m 32+4 and my partner is in a bad mood with me because I won’t have sex. We’ve only done it about three times since the positive test. I think he feels like it’s something against him, although I’ve explained that it isn’t. I just don’t feel comfortable doing it at the moment. He won’t let it go and is now sulking because I said I didn’t want to when he asked this afternoon. I don’t know what to do, I’m close to tears now. I try to talk to him, but I get short or one word answers. He keeps snapping at me too 😢

OP posts:
PizzaGoddess · 29/08/2018 17:15

I understand youre nervous about having sex, and im not taking sides, but, if sex was a big part of your relationship before becoming pregnant then I think you should maybe try not to let that crumble?

Most men connect with their partners through sex, and he might be feeling a bit ‘cast-off’ if you keep refusing…

kmreeve · 29/08/2018 17:36

Good lord tell him to grow up. If you're not interested then he should be mature enough to accept that.. no is still no and he shouldn't try to guilt you into sex - that's wrong on so many levels.

He should be respectful of your decision- regardless if you had an active sex life prior to pregnancy.

Karatema · 29/08/2018 17:55

You both need to compromise!

Matilda1981 · 29/08/2018 18:00

I’m in the opposite position - I’m 39 weeks pregnant and suggested sex to get things moving and it slightly freaks my OH out! I completely understand why tho to be fair and I wouldn’t ever push the subject so I think he’s being unreasonable. My ex used to badger me for sex and get grumpy when I wasn’t up for it and I soon found having sex with him a massive chore and didn’t want to sleep with him bit felt I had to - one of the many reasons he’s an ex!

8DaysAWeek · 29/08/2018 18:06

I don't think OP needs to compromise at all?! She doesn't want to have sex so she doesn't have sex. She's doing more than her fair share of bringing this baby into the world. The least he could do is pretend to be understanding and accept it.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 29/08/2018 18:27

I can't think of anything less attractive than a man pestering for sex and then going into a sulk when he doesn't get his way. He's being pathetic.

As for "compromising"..how exactly is that going to work? He wants sex, OP doesn't. No one should have to have sex when they don't want to.

BigBlueBubble · 29/08/2018 18:30

I told mine to get stuffed. I was quite old and struggled to get pregnant so I wasn’t going to take even the remotest chance of harming my baby or inducing early labour just so he could have a good time. It wasn’t worth the risk. He totally understood and accepted that. IMO yours is behaving like a spoiled child.

Harrypotterfan1604 · 29/08/2018 18:34

I’m in the opposite position. I’m 22 weeks and want to have sex, we haven’t done it once since the positive test and honestly I worry that 9 months of no sex then however long it takes before I’m ready after that is such a long time to go without it and feel like it’ll be quite detrimental :(
I won’t be pushing it though, he doesn’t want to he says he’s not comfortable and that’s fair enough. I won’t pester him.
Your partner needs to respect your choice however tough that might be for him

Karatema · 30/08/2018 07:28

Sex is more than just intercourse so, of course, compromise is an option. My husband lived and respected me to not even suggest sex for the first trimester but I knew it was an unspoken issue. So we had an adult conversation! When I was in my last trimester and initiated intercourse it freaked him out so I had to get the pregnancy book out to prove the baby would be fine!

Monipop84 · 30/08/2018 07:37

My sex drive has gone down too but I still enjoy the occasional sexy time - the only problem is that my breasts are hurt so much, so I yelp every two seconds which is a bit of a moodkiller!

Italianshark · 30/08/2018 16:02

If my OH and I go a week without sex we get depressed lol. I fear after 9 months I would feel somewhat detached from him! You might surprise yourself, it feels a lot better pregnant I've found Wink

Sandstormbrewing · 30/08/2018 17:27

Don't have sex unless you want to have sex. What if you have a traumatic birth and birth injury? Is he going to be such a dick then? Or if breastfeeding reduces you libido.

Whilst sex is important in a relationship but not if one of you is doing it under duress or out of obligation.

Grimbles · 30/08/2018 20:36

Sex is more than just intercourse so, of course, compromise is an option

What like a quick blowjob or hand job..?

But, if you don't want to do anything then what compromise is there to have?

surreygirl1987 · 30/08/2018 20:44

It's completely up to you. Nobody should ever pressure you for sex. I can understand why he's frustrated but it's your body and your choice. That said, at 36 weeks my oh and I have been inimate around once a week throughout my whole pregnancy... if i didn't feel like having sex we did 'other stuff' instead... I do think it's important to keep the intimacy alive - but only with whatever you're BOTH happy with.

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