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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Baby on Board Badge

52 replies

charliefarli · 29/08/2018 09:04

So Im 6+6 and having all the usual first trimester symptoms, including tiredness and lightheadedness. I also have a job that requires a lot of traveling particularly on the underground. I'm finding standing on the underground a lot more tiring than I used to.

Given that I am only 6+6 Im obviously not showing. Therefore I wonder is it too early to get a "baby on board" badge? If it is how long did everyone wait?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PhilomenaButterfly · 30/08/2018 12:27

Bully for you happymummy

I was 41+6, DS2 was 9lb 12oz and it was a very hot August. I'm not entitled either, thanks.

iVampire · 30/08/2018 12:40

If you know that neither of those boys had a hidden disability or illness dameofdilemma then as they were in identifiable uniform I’d email the school, state how poorly they had conducted themselves and how badly it reflected on the school.

Why did I include the reminder about invisible issues. Because I am not pregnant and look fine. And usually am. But some days I’m not, and although I have both the TfL ‘Please offer me a seat” and the ‘Cancer on board” badges, I’ve usually forgotten to bring them with me,

Clairetree1 · 30/08/2018 13:00

I remained standing because I would never ever ask for a seat. I was pregnant not an entitled person.

that is completely irrelevant.

Your experience is your experience not anyone elses.

I never asked for a seat when I was pregnant, because like you, I didn't need one. But some people do.

I frequently asked for a seat in the weeks after the birth because I did need one. But some people don't

purpleweasel · 30/08/2018 13:25

Never heard of these! Sadly I know people who have been left standing on busy trains (regularly for best part of an hour in one case) when obviously pregnant, not sure if even a massive neon sign with sirens going off would persuade some people to give up their seat

geemilka · 30/08/2018 14:04

I started wearing mine at 4 months despite the fact I was feeling awful during the first trimester... It's up to you really, but don't be surprised that some people will not give up their seat even when you're showing. In my experience, most time I was given a seat by young woman. Any women over 40 seem to ignore me and sit with a resting bitch face so I don't even dare to ask them...
I don't know whether it's a cultural thing, but for 7 months I was never given a seat by people of colour... Generally, be aware of the fact that a badge won't always be noticed, once you have a visible bump more people will acknowledge you. I don't always take a seat when offered, but it does make my day brighter when someone approaches and asks me. It just proves that there are still kind Londoners and it's nice to know

Pomfluff · 30/08/2018 14:23

This thread made it to the Daily Mail! LOL
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6113687/Baby-board-badge-early-Mother-sparks-lively-debate-online.html

PhilomenaButterfly · 30/08/2018 14:35

Ooh they showed my post! It must be because I'm not bragging about my buttocks anymore!

goodgod12 · 30/08/2018 14:39

Ridiculous?! Are you joking?! Should everyone not feeling well wear a I feel I'll badge to get a seat?!

Goostacean · 30/08/2018 15:11

Can’t believe I didn’t get quoted in the text of the “article”. I clearly need to up my game!

SophieStripe · 30/08/2018 15:19

Feeling ill is generally something that comes and goes and can be treated, or you stay off work. Feeling ill, sore, tired, etc because of pregnancy is entirely different. It's not about entitlement, it's about kindness. If someone needs a seat, they need a seat, for whatever reason. I wear a badge in London and generally have been offered seats every day. It genuinely helps. I have once asked (non pregnant) for a seat when I was on a train and suddenly felt faint and funny and like I was going to vomit. The person who let me sit was really kind and even gave me their bottle of water. I always try to look out if people around me need a seat and offer it (when not pregnant!). And yes, there are now badges for people who may need seats for disabilities that aren't obvious. What a sad world we live in if people think giving up or asking for a seat is about entitlement. It's about kindness and looking out for others. P. S Happymummy LOVES to come on 'baby on board' threads and brag about how long she stood on tube rides whilst heavily pregnant. It's hilariously sad!

Daisy2990 · 30/08/2018 15:32

In my experience most people didn't notice. They weren't being horrible, they just weren't actively looking at people. Just approach them and ask nicely, usually works.

PhilomenaButterfly · 30/08/2018 15:48

Yeah, I'm autistic. Approaching people and asking nicely is a big deal for me.

Clairetree1 · 30/08/2018 15:57

Yeah, I'm autistic. Approaching people and asking nicely is a big deal for me.

maybe you should be working on this.

Wear a badge by all means, however, you have no right to expect it to be read. It might be. Not automatic though

PhilomenaButterfly · 30/08/2018 16:04

I've been working on it for 51 years.

Clairetree1 · 30/08/2018 16:15

By all means, wear a badge, but you can't complain about it not being noticed, and if you don't ask for a seat, you can't complain about not getting one.

PhilomenaButterfly · 30/08/2018 16:21

As I said, I even bought a t-shirt, I was 41+6, so it wasn't as if I wasn't showing yet. Some people, usually men, looked up then looked straight back down again.

Gersemi · 30/08/2018 17:54

What did I do? Nothing, I remained standing because I would never ever ask for a seat. I was pregnant not an entitled person.

Asking for a seat when you need it because you feel lousy does not make you entitled.

userblah · 30/08/2018 18:07

What's a badge going to do?!
How about saying excuse me , I'm pregnant, and don't feel well, could I possibly sit down?!

SophieStripe · 30/08/2018 18:15

I'm a pretty confident person and have taken the tube daily for over 10 years. It's still not the nicest thing to have to ask for a seat, it's just a bit awkward and normally tubes are quiet places. All a badge does is alert people so that they offer rather than you having to ask. I would say on my daily commute people notice the badge and offer me a seat 90% of the time. So it does work. Yes there are some people who definitely do notice and chose to ignore but that's up to them. No, I'm not entitled to their seat, of course I'm not. But it's not about one person being more entitled than another or equality or 'you chose to be pregnant'. It's about recognising that sometimes in life people need a bit of compassion and to be offered a seat or some help, be that for pregnancy, a broken foot, elderly, feeling unwell, whatever. Surely it's just a nice thing to do, to offer some help, if you see someone struggling?

Daisy2990 · 30/08/2018 19:12

I understand, I have aspergers. I still wouldn't be offended if someone didn't read my clothing.

Pigeoncat · 30/08/2018 19:16

Why do these threads about badges always devolve into arguments?

The badges exist for people to use. Some people find them helpful. People are going to use them. No one cares that you didn’t use one.

myotherbagisgucci · 30/08/2018 20:50

Congrats OP, your thread made it onto the Daily Mail! Lol!

dailym.ai/2MZX5Ic

geemilka · 30/08/2018 22:24

Don’t read comments under that article on DM - some people can be very nasty.. I don’t understand why some people say “it’s an entitlement” It is not, but in my opinion, if you choose to sit on a priority seat then you should pay bloody attention to your surroundings. I saw elderly people struggling to stand on a tube next to girls sitting on a priority seat, putting their make up on. People would certainly give up their seat to their elder mum, grandma or pregnant wife. Why not give a seat to a stranger?

Since2016 · 30/08/2018 22:29

I have a visible bump but I’ve worn mine since 8 weeks owing to horrendous morning sickness. I’ve only had one instance where I’ve had to ask for a seat as I thought I was going to collapse - then burst into tears and dry heaved for 20 mins. When you’re already feeling fragile, having to ask strangers for a seat is the last thing you need.

Bully for those who can stand at 40 weeks. By 35 I was painfully swollen and in agony. I also commute on the Victoria line which regularly stops suddenly and is prone to throwing people forward. No thanks.

People need to be more considerate. I can count on one hand the number of times someone in a priority seat has gotten up for me, and yes it’s mostly men that offer!

BlueBug45 · 31/08/2018 07:14

@geemilka the only people who didn't offer me a seat where white middle aged males particularly those sat in the priority seating. I guess everyone has their prejudices deciding which pregnant women deserve a seat. Or more likely seeing the number of men in their early 20s of all ethnicities offering the elderly seats, they just think we are fat.

@Goostacean Your time will come.

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