Feel so stupid...

[WhatWouldCoachBombayDo]

My midwife has really put me in a difficult situation. So on paper I have a BMI of 30+ she sent me to a consultant...well I walked in for my high risk appointment and the consultant burst out laughing.

I said I know I know but she wouldn't take telling...

I'm 5ft 2 and about 80ish kg...and yes that does sound heavy but this is me...I'm a size 12 maybe 14 depending on the shop. I'm by no means super slim but to have been referred to a consultant for my weight and advised to loose weight/ watch my weight carefully plus having a consultant laugh at me has made me feel really stupid.

How do I get the midwife to see past the numbers on paper, because the consultant has even said I don't need high risk care for my weight whatsoever.

I'm just really heavy...I've always done sports including weightlifting so I am carrying some muscle but not enough to warrant 80kg but I've always been "heavier" even I said to the midwife yeah ok I've got a bit of chub but please...

I know this picture is from the back but I'm not apple shaped my stomach is usually also quite flat. I've got a hourglass shape.

Now I'm stuck as consultant said no midwife is adamant I'm "too big for her books" (no lie those were her words). DC1 I was about the same size and never had a issue, the old community midwife just shrugged and said "big bones maybe".

What can I do, because I feel like I'm about to be passed back and forth. I actually don't care where I end up, I just can't stand the "not me" "not me" part of all this.

You go straight back to the midwife and tell her that the specialist has laughed at her conclusions and said his skills are not needed, and that you are back on her books.
If she refuses to accept that, then you ask for her boss’s name & number and you complain like hell until you get a sensible answer.
And breathe....

That is ludicrous!!! U look tiny! I'm actually shocked. At end of the day consultants rule the roost really. can u get a letter written from them to midwife, also u are within ur rights to ask for a new midwife . Good luck and best wishes xoxox

Thanks all! I mean I'm not tiny I could probably lay off a few things from my diet but I can't be bothered. I eat a pretty well balanced diet plus a little too much pizza sometimes 😂

Well I'll try and see if I can talk some sense in to her, and if not I'll speak to the "manager" or whoever it would be.

I just feel so silly. One woman in the clinic said to me "well if your here I've got no hope" I just replied "no honestly I'm a freak and weigh too much, your fine, trust me" didn't know what else to say!

My BMI is 30 and I'm low risk midwife led and you definitely look slimmer than me. The only difference you should experience is a GT test and maybe take a higher strength of folic acid. If the consultant has said they are happy for your care to be midwife led then that should be that.

Maybe try and speak to the Supervisor of Midwives at the hospital.

Since when do midwifes dictate to the consultants? Im my hospital the consultant would get final say over the midwife.

Tbh i wouldn't want midwife with that attitude treating me. You should make a formal complaint and ask for a different midwife.