SIDs advice anxiety

[CathyandHeathcliff]

I’m already hugely anxious about my baby arriving in October.
I keep reading info about SIDs. Of course I’m fully aware of it all, I’m planning on using a next to me crib, feet down to the end of the bed, empty crib, just a blanket or sleep bag, tucked in safely.
He’ll be on his back too, of course and I know about overheating.

What I’m really panicking about is that I’m planning on breastfeeding and I know I’ll be so tired during the daytime, what if I’m feeding downstairs on the sofa and I accidentally fall asleep with him on me? This is becoming a real anxiety for me, as I’ve read falling asleep on the sofa or armchair can increase the risk of SIDs by quite a high percentage.

Can anyone put my mind at ease? I’m getting myself into a state about this!

This worries me a lot too about breast feeding at night. There was an occasion when I was bottle feeding my dd during the night and for some reason I placed her down beside me and I woke with a bang at 5am and couldn't find her!! It was hands down the worst moment of my life . It could have ended tragically. She was beside me all along just in between the pillows head totally clear and in a nice deep sleep I bet she was comfy but my god it still chills me to this day. Maybe if we put a lamp on and concentrate on something like a book or game on phone? Or set an alarm when the feed starts to go off five mins later ??

I think if you're worrying about it, it's unlikely to happen as you will be aware of potentially dropping off and stop yourself. I was concerned about this too, but it never happened because I was so conscious of it. When you feed at night, to start with put the light on and sit up in bed... that's what I did anyway. Please try not to worry too much (easy to say, I know) - SIDS is extremely rare and as long as you follow the guidelines. Congratulations to you OP and best wishes

This never happened to me. To begin with you’ll find you need to focus fully while feeding to ensure he maintains his latch etc. Once he learned to sleep lying down I slept on my side with my arm stretched out so I couldn’t roll over. It is hard to describe but if you look at the individual SIDS cases where parents have rolled on to babies I think v v v few are of breastfeeding parents. Many are of parents who take their babies downstairs at night to sleep on the sofa because they are so tired and fall asleep with them etc.

Even if you aren't comfortable with it I would look up how to safely cosleep in a prepared space.

Very good question to ask. With DS he fed every 2 hours for at least the first 6 months. A few weeks in I was so exhausted. One night I fell asleep sitting upright holding him - he was a reflux baby and needed held upright for half an hour after every feed or he'd bring it all back up. I woke up in such a fright and he had slid down next to me. He was absolutely fine but since then I committed to bed sharing safely. We both learned how to feed lying down and he would fall asleep feeding and so would I. No issues. Bed sharing/co sleeping is very safe as long as done correctly!!! There's lots of visual guides you can find to help.

I’ve got a next to me crib so my plan is to use that, would that work for breast feeding?

Netflix on the iPad helped me stay awake a bit better but I still fell asleep. Baby was always ok though and you get used to sleep deprivation!

If I was tired I lay down and fed the baby lying next to me on a safe surface (firm clear mattress).
With your first you have the luxury of doing this so I wouldn't risk falling asleep sitting up or on a sofa.

I use a next to me crib, it's nice not having to get out of bed in the night.

Have you read the unicef safe sleeping guidelines? I can't link, but Google will provide.

It's easy to be anxious about things when you are pregnant.

The poster above is right, it's much safer to take the baby into bed for breastfeeding than it is to try staying awake on the sofa.

If I knew I was utterly exhausted and could drop off at any moment, I wouldn’t BF holding them. I would lay them down beside me in a safe space and feed that way. It’s much, much safer.

Failing that, keep a beside lamp on and use your phone to distract yourself whilst feeding.

The sofa issue is due to accidental smothering, not SIDS. Smothering is completely different.

I used a next 2 me crib. I would lie down next it on the bed and feed DS and it was a godsend not having to get up and out of bed to faff about. But this was only from when he was a bit older and more used to breastfeeding. Around 3 months onwards?
If you're worried about falling asleep,make it so that you aren't really comfy when feeding. Get a hard rocking chair to sit in when you feed. Or pop the light on whilst you feed. I found coming on and reading mumsnet or Facebook kept me awake enough so that I didn't bob off and I also knew what time I'd fed him and for how long.
Good luck with baby and try not to worry too much

Thanks for all your replies. Of course I wouldn’t fall asleep knowingly. I’m more worried about if I think I’m not tired, start feeding or laying with him on the sofa or in an armchair and then accidentally drop off.