Pregnant mummies with toddlers

[nicholetteb]

Ladies, we are all different in pregnancy. Some can push through juggling lots others have too many complications to be able to do it. I to suffer from the guilt of letting things go and struggle to do this. I am 23 weeks pregnant with a 2 year old who is seriously regressing and work full time.
My work have sympathy for me having time off but not for my lack of performance. I just passed my probation with effectively a warning to 'pull my finger out'.
I am at a point where i do not care anymore, something has to give.
I am exhausted physically and mentally from running the house, raising toddler who wakes screaming throughout the night (cos mummies pregnant and i wanna be the only baby) and trying to perform at work.

My husband does some things but to be frank is not good at it. His version of tidy is a cesspit and he loses patience with our son at night so i end up being up half the night.
Either my job, marriage or relationship with my son has got to suffer so i have chosen work.
I am either going to be fired before mat leave or just make it to it in Dec. I wont go back after and plan on finding a new job.

Its hard ladies real hard and no one outside can understand and sympathy is not always forthcoming.
I want to say i give love to u all, u r doing all u can and a great job. Fuck em u n baby n children are the most important dont let anyone tell you different.
I am currently struggling to do a full week and tend to call in sick regularly from exhaustion and other complications including fainting.

Hang in there xxxx♡♡♡♡

Yep, l hear you! I'm 16 weeks preg with a 2 year old. Also work full time but compressed hours over 4 days. Currently spending most of my non work days either in bed with tiredness or arguing with my partner. Work keep asking for extra hours to be done but likewise I've prioritised my wellbeing and just have to accept l can't do it all.

Sundaysunday you are the priority (and toddler) not work or ur husband. Its hard but if he loves u he will put up with it.

Keep going you can get through. Try ur best and prioritise what is important to u xxxxx

I’ve found my second pregnancy MUCH more difficult then the first. Pretty much been exhausted the whole time. Saying that I’m lucky as my partner totally understands and so does my work.

With regards to your work they can’t use sick leave during pregnancy against you in any disciplinary situations. You are protected by the Equality Act. So if something has to give then that’s probably the logical choice. Saying that I find it so sad when partner’s don’t pull their socks up and pick up the slack. You are literally creating a new person from almost nothing. Of course it’s tough and you are tired!!

Could you reduce your hours at work to give you a bit more slack. Pregnancy with a toddler is hard, and maintaining standards at work on barely any sleep is near impossible.

Ive been off today and quite frankly i dont want to go back tomorrow. I wish we didnt have to work. I hate being judged by everyone, they think im lazy im sure when i dont want to go up n down stairs every 5 minutes and look tired and a mess. I wanna tell them all to do one lol none of them understand. I will go self employed after this second child as i dont want to work for someone else anymore fed up of it xx

Just wanted to say I totally get where you're coming from. I'm 29 weeks pregnant and have a 15 month old. I'm knackered, in pain and just about managing. Fortunately I'm a teacher so have been off the last 6 weeks. I'm going back for a week then taking my maternity leave early. At 31 weeks. Is there any way you could take earlier maternity leave? I felt I was failing at everything so made the decision to drop work. It is so tough. Huge hugs to you x

Hi fluffybat,
The earliest i could take is november sadly. I had a complete melt down this morning sat crying on the floor cos my son wouldnt brush his teeth. Luckily he stopped and hugged me until i stopped lol they can be soo sweet when they want to. Work sent me home cos i couldnt stop crying like a complete loon! So embarrassed lol xx

You poor thing. I hope you find ways to cope. Remember things like household tasks can take a back seat. X

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with toddler twins

I guess luckily I am a sahm but still have to do everything around the house etc

Struggling here too. DD is 3.5 so luckily is a bit more independent and DH is understanding as are work. The hardest bit is the mummy guilt from feeling like a crap mum to DD. I can't really walk very far now (30 weeks) so trips out are limited, I can't sit on the floor and play for longer than 5 minutes, and then it's a struggle to get back up again. We spend far too long watching films as it is about all I can manage. The end is in sight though.

Hi OP.
I'm currently 35 weeks and have a 4 yr old.

It is bloody exhausting!

Can you ask for a temporary reduction in hours?

Also, can you get a cleaner?
If my OH didn't do most of the laundry and washing up (and I have fairly low standards for ckeaning) I would see have got one if it could make the difference between leaving work or being able to stay.
And definitely with a two year old.
4 is tricky, but the level of supervision needed and general neediness is less.

Hi all,
Thanku for all your comments. I have spoken with work and I am taking my mat leave 11 weeks before due date so 8th Oct. Whilst they are accepting they are also giving me massive tasks to do. You just think clearly im struggling, clearly you are going to have a go once i make the slightest mistake so the point?? But heyho not long to go. Xx

That's fab that you're going on earlier matetnity. Your mental health and wellbeing are more important than a job. I hope the next weeks go quick for you x