Section v natural?

[Jakeyblueblue]

Hi, Im not asking anyone to tell me what to do but am interested in people's experiences of an elective section compared to a fairly complex delivery?
I'm 16 w with my third, wasn't planned and have already endured hyperemesis which saw me in hospital for weeks in the early stages so already feel I've been through the mill.
My first was 9lb 5 oz. 4 days labour, back to back presentation and second degree tear. Not pleasant.
My second was 9lb 7oz. Much quicker labour, got to hospital at 8cm so was unable to have pain relief, midwives missed he was back to back also, despite me telling them that the back pain was the same and endured a delayed second stage ( almost 4 hours), where the gas and air was removed as they said I wasn't pushing properly, he was finally born back to back via vontouse but I had a 3c degree tear and had to go to theatre to be repaired afterwards. The recovery was pretty horrible both mentally and physically. I made a complaint after the birth and was told by consultant that it was likely to be due to the shape of my pelvis, plus having large babies and was likely to happen again. I've also now got a prolapse bladder and other issues since that delivery to contend with and suffered with flash backs for months afterwards.
Fast forward to now, booking midwife, told me I'd be given a section as standard following a third degree tear but when I saw consultant, she said no reason to not try for a natural delivery, although they will agree to a section if I prefer.
At first my initial thought was horror at a natural delivery. I'm having another boy and I just can't see this one being any smaller than the others. I asked her if she can guarantee it won't happen again and she said she can't, but they would keep an eye on growth and sort the damage out afterwards!
But i am now starting to wonder if I'm underestimating the recovery post section and should try naturally again. I do have two other kids to look after, 7 and 4 and husband works very long hours, although my mum would stay two weeks post section to help. Also it's half term three weeks after delivery and wouldn't be able to drive so would be stuck at home all week.
Anyone been in a similar position and what did you decide? Were you happy you'd made the right decision?

I haven't been in exactly your position but given your experience I would choose a section, at least you will know what will happen.

I would have the Elective section. I have had 3 cvs, one emergency and 2 elective. They bring their own recovery issues but better than enduring rips and tears

I think for me it would depend somewhat on how bad the prolapse is. I had an emcs with my 1st, forceps and episiotomy with my 2nd and then 6 unassisted births. I have a bit of prolapse now (bowel and bladder) but it doesn’t really affect me too much (running not very comfortable and mustn’t get constipated). I have had the prolapse since my 4th delivery. I’ve not been offered a cs since my second (when I was automatically offered one). I am pregnant again now and will hope for another vaginal delivery. In terms of recovery...forceps was the worst, followed by cs. Vaginal ... well with number 8 I had him at 11:45 pm and was on the school run to collect the primary school ones at 3:00pm the next day...you can’t do that after a section.

Given your history i would have a section. Theres no reason to put yourself through so much pain, mentally and physically. I havent had a section myself but i know loads of women who have had to have sections for various reasons and according to most the recovery is not that bad.

Hopefully your husband will have a week or 2 of paternity leave which will give you a chance to recover while he looks after your other children.

This is one of the problems, husband is self employed, will have a few days max at home, but mum would come and stay for two weeks once I'm home.

I would definitely go for the CS, I had an EMCS & recovery was really straightforward, obviously I know everyone is different but I had no difficulties at all afterwards (& I was a 42 year old, overweight & unfit mum!).

I've only had an emergency section and an elective section so I can't comment on the difficult natural

But

I had so much faith in my elective section and went in there a healthy Mum and baby

They couldn't get her out and used forceps. As a result my child has a cataract and brain damage which they are still trying to figure out if it's cerebral palsy or a stroke at birth.

All I'm saying is elective sections can go wrong too. Very wrong

I had a section for a big baby as they were worried he’d get stuck and suffer shoulder dystocia or worse, oxygen deprivation.

I have an ugly overhang and my entire stomach is permanently numb. I didn’t even know that women suffered numbness after a section. It’s awful, like a dead slab of meat fixed to my front. I can’t exercise because of this big, loose, numb flap on my front. But the baby is perfectly healthy which is the main thing. I could have had worse complications or a disabled baby if I’d delivered naturally, I’ll never know.

It's a tough one. I'd say go for the c section.
I healed so well from both of mine. But you really really do need to rest for the first week pretty solidly. If you can do this then you will recover MUCH faster.
If your mum is able to help for two weeks, could you also maybe get someone else in to help? Your siblings perhaps?

I am not a medic and cannot say this as fact. But anecdotally the younger, fitter and slimmer women I have met who have had c sections seem to have recovered better/faster than larger ladies. As the wound has to be aired to heal well, and a couple of larger ladies I am friends with said their tummy over hung the scar quite significants, which could have attributed to it not drying out and healing as fast and ended up with infections.

Also are you prone to scarring very badly. It's not just the outside scar, but the internal scar tissue where layers are cut through/sewn up which can cause issues later down the line with regards to adhesions and scar tissue, keyloid scarring e.t.c

I took all this into account. And I chose to have an ELCS second time around as the bladder and bowel prolapse, tearing and incontinence issues mainly from having an instrumental birth worried me more.

Thanks all,
Yes prob should have added, am 38 so not young but am slim and healthy. Was pretty fit prior to pregnancy, running etc.

I've had two emcs and bounced back. Dh could only afford a week off and with dc2, I spent 3 days in labour so he went back to work after 4 days. I also had an older dc starting school that week. I was utterly fine. No painkillers needed afterwards and was up and about within a few hours with both. Had a 12 hour discharge after my first. There's a spectrum of recovery and you might be lucky enough to be at the easy end.

In your shoes, I'd go with the cs every time.

I only have one DC but had a similar history to you and I have opted for a section this time.

Had a v large First birth, pph, shoulder dystocia. Fiercely in theatre lots of tearing and episiotomy.

The recovery was horrific. Weeks of not being able to walk properly. Etc etc.

I had a ELCS for no2. Recovery was a breeze. I was walking that evening and left hospital just over 24h later. Went to the park the next day.

I’m very pro natural birth but seeing what you’ve been through I would go for a CS no question.

I had an EMCS with my first (aged 36) but before I’d gone into labour, so recovery wise it was pretty much like an elective. I was up and about really quickly and didn’t need any pain relief after the first day. To a large extent I decided not to take anything so I could be active rather than lying around but also gauge when I was overdoing it. I think that meant I got over it much quicker. You would never know I’ve had a CS, the scar is barely visible with no overhang although it was numb for at least a year after.

As your kids are 4 and 7 they’re at an age when you can reason with them (and bribe them!). I think recovery would be harder with a toddler that needs chasing after.