Breastfeeding

[katie23913]

I am pregnant with my first baby and really want to try breastfeeding when he or she is born. I've been reading up and some people seem to find it really hard and painful. I just wondered if anybody had any tips or advice that may have done this before? Xx

I found it very difficult and painful, but worth it when we got there!

Nipple cream and a set of nipple shields saved me and reduced pain from a crack enough for it to heal and me to get through it. Definitely have these on hand.

Honestly, the most helpful thing for me was watching a load of YouTube videos on positioning and different methods, and troubleshooting the specific problems I had. I did read some stuff, but being able to watch was more helpful.

I have friends who had no problems at all though, so it might be easy. Good to be prepared though.

I found it really easy to establish breastfeeding and it wasn't painful initially, just from day 3 to 5 when I was engorged.

Had a few problems since, mastitis at 10 weeks and 4 months (cleared without antibiotics) and mild thrush at 5 weeks, but other than that it had been fairly uneventful, and most problems can be managed with appropriate support.

Breastfeeding can be hard but isn't always. You will here a lot of negativity surrounding breastfeeding, and unfortunately sometimes people who have had positive experiences feel like they have to keep quiet lest we offend formula feeders.

I have just past the exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months milestone, and DD is still going strong!!

Hello! Congratulations

Tbh the one thing I found noone told me was that it would be hard in the beginning, as neither baby nor I knew what to do and both needed to learn from each other! But the maternity assistants in hospital were great with helping us try different positions until we found a way that worked for us. Also noone really mentioned that baby really doesn't need much at first- I think DS had maybe 5mls of colostrum his first 24 hours?- so don't worry that you're not producing much, when your milk comes in after 3-5 days there will be a LOT!

I think patience and perseverence through the first couple of weeks is key, plus knowing there's support out there- your midwife and health visitor, there maybe local breastfeeding groups or La Leche League groups (also on Facebook if you use it) and remember to appreciate the good bits- boob is always ready, always the right temperature, always the right amount and makeup for your baby, don't need any equipment beyond a muslin, many many squishy cuddles... What's not to love!!

Make sure you have some of the purple Lansinoh cream and some breastpads- maybe disposable at first then washable later once your supply settles.

Some people do have more struggles than others (just like with everything in life) so you're maybe more likely to hear about breastfeeding issues if they're the ones seeking support, rather than from the people not having any problems iyswim? But just to reassure you, after that first day figuring it out, DS and I had no issues for our 28 months of feeding. I'm now 8 weeks again and hoping for the same with the next. Good luck, and please feel free to ask anything!

Do as much research as you can so things like cluster feeding, let down reflex, latching, how often a breastfed baby feeds etc don’t come as a surprise. Second pp on watching loads of YouTube videos on latch and positioning.

Bf isn’t always hard and hideous, but you’ve got to trust in your body and know that generally women DO make enough milk, it’s very rare that you don’t. And things like lots of feeding at night is normal, so bf babes don’t sleep through the same way that formula fed babies do. I think if you arm yourself with tons of info it gives you the confidence in yourself to carry on, even when it gets tough.

And find a fully qualified bf consultant in your area and a bf mum group now so if you do run into problems you’ll know where to turn to. Good luck! I’m still breastfeeding dd who is 19 months and it’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done

The BFI (Baby Friendly Initiative - not British Film Institute!) website is a good place to start - have a look at the videos under ‘resources’. Kellymom is also a really helpful website and has loads of information about breastfeeding and caring for a baby. It can be helpful to try hand expressing antenatally (from 36 weeks) in order to become familiar with your breasts and have some colostrum stored up if you and baby are finding things difficult - although it’s not essential.

Make sure you read about things like wet and dirty nappies (how many you should expect, colour etc.), cluster feeding, colostrum and when your milk comes in, baby’s stomach capacity, expected weight loss, normal newborn behaviour, feeding cues, skin to skin at birth and positioning and attachment.

Breastfeeding is often difficult. There is a reason that formula feeding has become so common in our society. However if you can crack it, the benefits (in my opinion) can massively outweigh the struggles. Find out where your local support is and make sure you don’t let the midwives discharge you from hospital or community care until you feel ready and have a plan in place.

Good luck!

Ask for help from midwives on different holds. I was shown how to feed whilst lying down which was so useful.

Find out about BF support groups with proper advisors now so if you run into problems you’ll know where to go.

Whilst BF 2DCs I only ran into problems once, when DS had a lazy latch. Went to a BF group where the supporter saw the problem and told me how to fix it. Really useful.

Other than that, I found BF took effort to establish - lots and lots of feeding for hours on end so a supportive partner is necessary for getting drinks and food and not putting pressure on you to go places. That only lasts a week or so though, it’s not forever.

You will here a lot of negativity surrounding breastfeeding, and unfortunately sometimes people who have had positive experiences feel like they have to keep quiet lest we offend formula feeders.

Totally this!
It also means that you may not know anyone to ask for help.

I had a horrific time to start and none of it was things I was prepared for!! DD had zero clue how to latch, like it took 6 weeks for her to really sort it out. I had to use nipple shields the whole time I fed her (11 months). I’ve got pretty big boobs at the best of times and I th8nk it was just too much for her!
The worst thing was the combination of hormones and guilt for not being able to do something so natural. It wrecked me mentally and emotionally, it made expressing for supply almost impossible because I was stressed. Obviously we eventually sorted it and by 11 weeks she was finally exclusively breastfed.
I know that sounds horrible but the point I am trying to make is don’t put too much pressure on yourself, it doesn’t help anyone. If you need to supplement with formula, it’s not a crime. You can still get there in the end.

As above make sure you know where to get support and be kind to yourself! It might be tough, it might be easy, just be prepared for either. I certainly was not! I genuinely didn’t realise a baby might not know what to do.

I think pp’s have covered the practical things you need. The one thing mentally that I found helpful was when a friend of mine told me to not give up on the hardest day. Each day that it feels too much and you can’t do it anymore, give yourself one more day, and keep saying this each and everyday and suddenly you’ll realise it’s not half as bad as it was. Also prepare yourself for mammoth feeding sessions - like, hours and hours on end mammoth feeding sessions, they will happen. I found by 5 weeks, things were so so much better.

If you’re on Instagram, Littlepeachlondon is worth a follow.

Look up your local
Breast feeding group & go ASAP as many times as you can before the birth & ask as many questions as you can.

Yes it can be hard, in the beginning their stomachs are tiny, there’s a photo on google about the size of baby’s stomach.

Baby’s cluster feed in the beginning at 4, 6 & 8 weeks. During growth spurts & jabs & teething or if they want comfort.
Lanisoh is your friend, it does hurt in the beginning as your nipple is not used to being gummed but it does end.
Your nipple should be elongated & like the stalk of a mushroom after baby suckles, flattened or any other shape means latch issues.

Midwives are bad at noticing tongue ties etc so be prepared for that.

I think all you need really is to have a tube of lansinoh on hand ready and make sure you know where you can get support if you need it (should be accessible via your midwife or HV).

I'll add another positive experience to the list. I had zero issues with latch, nipple pain or just any problems at all. My DS was a natural and wriggled his way to my breast as soon as he was placed on me after birth. I didn't leak at all so didn't use breast pads and I had no nipple soreness so didn't use the lanisoh cream I bought. I did get the strange let down sensation for a few weeks but it wasn't painful for me, just weird. The only 'struggles' I had were my own confidence and trusting that my body was doing the right thing. I had no idea that my DS would feed soooo much and always worried it because i didn't have enough milk and he was still hungry. But I managed to breast feed for just over 12 months so I clearly did have enough!! I would have probably gone on for longer but he practically just weaned himself.

There are some great suggestions already above so I won't repeat but one thing I was worried about was feeding in public. As quite a shy, private person, I didn't want to be showing myself or get any negative comments. I found a quiet local coffee shop on a weekday where no one was really around, sat in the corner and just had to feed my son. This then gave me the confidence to do it wherever I was.

I found lanolin nipple cream, the local breastfeeding support group, putting 6 weeks in the calendar as it tends to get a lot easier then and watching youtube videos on getting a good latch very helpful. Yes you often don’t hear good stories about breastfeeding because apparently it’s automatically anti formula

Thanks for all the tips and advice, I really appreciate it.

Forgot to say I EBF my eldest for 18 months from born at 37 weeks & jaundice & I had to give up dairy.
Second still breastfeeding now at 18 Months & I could have dairy back in my diet from 8 months but not too much. He also had a lip & posterior tongue tie that wasn’t diagnosed until 12 months so the confidence of breastfeeding my first just had me adjust the latch until it was comfortable.

Couple of tips to add....

I had an amazing and lovely community midwife who advised me to prenatally harvest colostrum, regardless of the fact that I was a low risk pregnancy (normally recommend to women booked in for c sections or inductions, if you have a good midwife!). I found it helped me massively psychologically, before doing this I would look at my boobs in the mirror and think 'how the hell are they going to feed a baby' (my areolas had barely darkened and my boobs hadn't got any bigger). Having successfully harvested colostrum I was able to relax when my daughter latched on with the confidence that my boobs would do their thing! As it was I didn't need my frozen supply of colostrum and have been using it in DD bath water when she has had nappy rash.

If you haven't had much 'exposure' to breastfeeding as some women unfortunately don't, consider going along to a breastfeeding support group before you give birth to surround yourself with breastfeeding mums and babies and have a chat.

And final tip, read up on feeding lying down, and consider co sleeping, night feeding is so much easier this way.

Good luck!!

Another positive story to add, I was 18 when had DD , had never researched breastfeeding , wasn't even sure what I was planning to do with feeding before she was born but straight after birth put her to the breast she just took to it , never had any pain or problems and she never dropped any birth weight.

I obviously appreciate this definitely isn't that case for everyone or even the majority , but I felt that it helped that I didn't go into it with a lot of pressure on myself or feeling anxious about it , I also think baby going straight to breast after birth if possible helps. I am due again in November and this time round have done a little more research because I know I may not be as lucky as last time and I want to be able to persist through that.

So my advice is be prepared for any issues and have access to support etc but try not to go in to expecting it to be awful and do not put pressure on yourself, good luck!

I haven't read all the other comments but I'm BF'ing my third baby and the thing I found most helpful to know with #1 is that it takes time and practice to get it right.

From my breastfeeding nct Class I was under the illusion that baby will "instinctively know how to latch on & feed". This is utter bullshit IMO and made me feel useless when my baby didn't do that!

It's worth knowing that yes, it can be very painful, exhausting, you may question if your doing it right, if it's all worth it etc ... and YES! It does get easier, it is worth it and personally I think it takes great commitment but in a positive way - it gives you a wonderful sense of achievement (oxytocin makes you warm & fuzzy!)

Even during the toe-curlingly painful feeds, remember it WILL get easier and there's a lot of support out there if you know where to find it. HVs, La Leche League, kellymom.com, local BF Groups ...

Even now with #3 who is 5m/o, my nipple is sore from him wrenching it about whilst looking around but I know I'll heal and be back to normal again in a day or so.

Good luck with it - hope I haven't sounded negative, just things I'd wish I'd known before so I didn't feel like it was just me!

Oh, and trusting that your body knows what it's doing (making the right amount of milk and at the right time), after all, it made a tiny human being and is designed to make sure it's fed properly! Midwife told me that once and it gave me a bit of faith in just trusting my boobs we're making enough milk!

I found the Facebook page of my local breastfeeding group absolutely invaluable - I learned so much about what was normal from the women on that page.
Breastfeeding went like a dream for me, never any issues with latch or supply, never had mastitis or thrush, DS thrived and piled on weight, and he's still feeding once a day at 2yo - so there are lots of us for whom it isn't painful and difficult.
Wishing you the best of luck with it!

I didn't find it painful or difficult but I hated it. Still kept at it though.

Just make sure you read up lots on what to expect. As most babies in this country are bottle fed you might end up thinking things which are totally normal for a breastfed babies (very frequent feeding, thrashing and crying at the breast, feeding for hours at a time particularly in the evening) aren't normal and you'll worry that you don't have enough milk or that baby isn't getting enough.

Also, you probably already know, but some people don't, colostrum is sufficient for the first 3-5 days and comes in such tiny amounts you probably won't see it. On day 3,4, or 5 you'll wake up with rock hard boobs! That's your milk.

Not going to lie- the first week of bf was toe-curlingly painful. So much more painful than the birth. But then, after that it was plain sailing to 12 months. I even found weaning her off easy.

What helped me in the first week

• midwife support with positions
• breastfeeding clinics
• lansinoh for cracking bleeding nipples
• Savoy cabbage leaves stuff into bra as a healing / soothing aid
• nipple shields
• pumping (didn’t really use it, but helped with supply while daughter was sleeping
• night light and iPhone for night feeds
• supportive texts from friends confirming how shit it is to start with- then it gets better quickly
• keeping my bra off & no visitors for first week

It is so worth persevering with. The pain will usually pass very soon and the benefits (health, convenience, cost) outweigh the horribly steep learning curve lots of women face. I was ready to give up on day 7, I thought the pain would never end but it did. I was so glad I kept going.

I’m afraid this is the reality for many first time mums and I don’t think people are honest enough about it. If I’d known what I might expect and how long I might need to hold my nerve for, I would have been able to cope so much better at the time. I only kept going because I reached out to friends and got the support I needed (by text).

You might be one of the lucky ones and find both you and baby take to it straight away- fingers crossed oh will xx

@Sandstormbrewing Hi. If you don’t mind me asking, why did you hate it even though it didn’t hurt?

If I could go back and give myself some advice with my first it would be that it does get better.
I fed both of mine for a year and people just assume I must have found it easy. With my first that really wasn't the case at all! He was tiny and struggled to latch, the first 3 weeks were horrificly painful and I was in tears at 2am because he wouldn't latch or settle. I had no idea bf newborns feed constatly and that it was perfectly normal.
By around a month old it was settling and after the 6 week growth spurt it was so easy.
Never give up on a bad day. That really helped me mentally and I had no problems at all feeding my second.

Bumblealong1 there were lots of reasons, I didn't like the way it felt, it was particularly bad at night, it's actually a recognised phenomenon called nursing aversion and there's a more severe version called D-MER. I also didn't like how dependent it made DS on me, he wouldn't take milk from anything else, a bottle or cup and so I couldn't have any time away from him and he fed really really frequently for months and months despite me having so much milk (it literally poured out of me, I had to stuff muslin's down my bra whilst feeding as there was so much). I was totally touched out and exhausted as I had to do all night feeds. I carried on for 2 years as I felt that because it was physically easy I had no reason to give up, but now I'm pregnant with DC2 I intend to bottle feed from the start!