Age scaremongering...

[GeorgieGirl66]

Hi,

I was wondering what everyone's opinion was on age and pregnancy problems. I'm 36 (and turning 37 in a week), pregnant for the first time and everything I read seems to be doom and gloom and saying this or that could go wrong, all because I'm over 35.

Is it all a bit of scaremongering or is it true?

I don't feel that old but according to these articles and books, I'm over the hill. We could have had kids younger, but it never happened, and now it has. It's quite early days for me, I haven't seen a doctor yet even, so half the time it doesn't feel real and the other half it's terrifying.

Thank you for your thoughts

I'm 35 and 7 weeks pregnant, will be 36 when baby arrives. I know a lot of people who have had healthy babies in their late 30s and early 40s, so don't pannic. Yes the risks are higher as we get older but there's still loads of older mum's with healthy babies too.

We started ttc when I was 30. It took 6 years to get pg. I lost that one but got pg again soon after and again very quickly after that.

I had both my dc in my late 30's. I am not in the UK
I was constantly reminded of the risks because of my age but explained my circumstances and got monitored very closely.

I had an argument with a doctor as well when I refused a harmony test but based on other test results they'd done I didn't feel the need and wasn't concerned about the outcome anyway.

Over here they don't do epidurals so my choice was cs or a totally natural birth but I was offered c sections on the basis of my age alone.

I don't feel like I have much less energy now than I did when I was younger but I feel glad I didn't leave it any later although DH wishes we had.

I’m 35 and 20 weeks pregnant - what negative things have you read, I’ve read none and no one has said anything ?

I was nearly 40 having & DD. Had no scaremongering at all. Easy pregnancy (albeit terrible birth but that was DD's fault for corkscrewing herself into the weirdest position ever). Did find a fibroid at the 12wk scan so I had an extra scan at 32wks.
After the bone aching tiredness of the first 9 weeks or so I felt fine too.

None of the HCPs I saw were remotely worried about my age.

I had ds at 43 - felt like a dinasaur!

I was 36 with my first and 38 with my second and no medical professional seemed even slightly concerned. At one stage I made a joke about being a “geriatric” mother and the doctor looked at me over his glasses and said, “We don’t really start to consider women as “older mothers” before they’re 40 these days.”

I was a FTM at 36, I think it’s quite common now? What are you reading? No one I saw seemed to care about my age, other than to take a blood test for Downs and the like.

I was 42 when I had my DS and was never made to feel old in fact I was reassured that "older" mums were becoming much more common.

I'd just ignore all the negative guff and enjoy.

I’m 38 and 25 weeks pregnant. My pregnancy has been healthy and mostly uncomplicated so far and my midwife even commented recently that I was putting some of her younger mums to shame by being so fit and active! Yes there are a few minor increased risks associated with age but you can’t change your age so why worry?

I think you should stop reading articles and books and speak to an actual doctor.
37 isn't old at all. If you need any extra monitoring then they'll offer it to you but I doubt it unless you have specific health problems or complications with the pregnancy.

I’m 37 and my dc are now 14 & 19. However many of my friends are now having their first at between 36-42. So I wouldn’t worry if I was you. Congratulations!!!

In the UK you aren't considered old until you are 40.

Even then useless you have other health issues the only thing they will do differently is induce you on or the day after your due date if you haven't already gone into labour naturally.

My mother had just turned 37 when I was born by emergency c section. We both survived. A lot of my schoolmates had mothers on the same age bracket.

I'm a midwife. 37 is nothing. The biggest problem at this age is difficulty conceiving. So go you!
My observations
: the progress of your pregnancy is more likely to be affected by your weight or long term medical issues than your age at this point. Good nutrition, avoidance of excess weight gain really helps.
: maintain your usual level of fitness, if you are fit before birth, you'll recover faster later
: women having a first labour after 35, in my experience, are more likely to have a slow labour that might need medical assistance. It's just life and nothing you've done wrong. Plan for an active birth but be ready to accept help if needed.

I'm 35 and have had no problems. Conceived by accident (so no problems there), no morning sickness, blood pressure issues, etc. I'm now 28 weeks and no one seems concerned. At least where I live the "older mother" bit doesn't kick in until 40. A friend is having her first baby at 41 and has been told she can't have home birth/midwife led unit because of her age.

I'm 34 and 36 weeks with baby #1. Chances are I will be 37 by the time I have baby #2

Apart from sickness at the beginning I've had a straightforward pregnancy

I don't think 37 is old, I wouldn't worry 😊

I’m 42 and 6 weeks pregnant (with my...hopefully 9th baby). Had my 1st at 25 (felt young) and 8th at 40...nobody particularly bothered that I was 40 - not even my consultant! I don’t know whether that was because I’ve had other children or just that older mums are much more common now....However, I would just add that my Grandma had my Auntie at 41...67 yrs ago!

Also adding that we conceived 1st month of trying!

Well risks are obviously greater the older you are... but this is obviously only on average. It really is about the individual more than it is about age.
Women certainly are having children older these days- it's very common to have babies after 35 or 40. However this is a social change and not a biological change. That said, many many women in their 40s have perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies, and by contrast many younger women (e.g. in their 20s) might not.... age is only one small factor in a much, much larger picture. I don't think it's scaremongering exactly as there is SOME truth in it, but it is often vastly exaggerated (Daily Mail for instance!!) I wouldn't worry.

I had dd2 at 38. Didn't find out I pregnant until I was 5 months. I had a very stressful pregnancy due to other circumstances at the time. Dd was born fit and healthy on her due date.

If I'm honest I did feel old, but I think that was because dd1 was 23 and 2 girls she went to school with were in my antenatal class😊😊

My mum had me when she was 36 in ‘97 and she didn’t feel that old then. Older mothers are more likely to have complications ambut that doesn’t mean they definitely will! Some facts are unavoidable but there’s no point rubbing it in the faces of mothers-to-be, a baby is a baby no matter how it comes out!

The main study scaremongering articles like in the Daily Mail like to use, is from birth records in an area in 18th century France. Since then nutrition, sanitation, healthcare and lifespan have improved drastically. Modern studies use things like IVF statistics from the late 20th and current century in the UK as UK clinics aren't allowed to hide their data like other places.

The later studies show that the difference in getting pregnant and delivering a child at your age is only a few percentage points less than someone under 35. If you are under 19 or over 40 then there are more risks but HCPs don't batter an eyelid to someone your age.

In regards to birth defects for tested conditions while on average you are more likely to have them as you get older, your risk is individual. I know from random other posts that my calculated risk is lower than theirs even though I'm pregnant in my 40s.

Btw I should point out I'm a child of a mother who was 42 when she had me. Over my life I have been made to feel by some junior HCPs who don't deal in women's and children's health that I shouldn't exist, which is why I looked up the statistics and where they came from. The last HCP who did this a couple of years ago and I had fun winding her up by stressing my dad was 11 years older. I'm sure you are aware OP older dads make conception harder on average.

I'm 37 and 24 weeks pregnant and haven't really experienced any different symptoms or difficulties than I did in my first pregnancy when I was 31. So far so good!

I was pg with DS2 at 38. I actually experienced the opposite; it was more "oh, everything will be fine" when I voiced my worry about test results and stats for older women. I work in academia where many of my peers have children later than average. I am NOT a drama llama, but it would have been useful for people to acknowledge that actually, past 35 risks for all sorts of things increase.

Please forgive me as I'm not up with the latest tests, but I refused to have them because back then dd (14) I was told tests would come back as high risk because there is a higher risk of complications.
I was the same age as you, and I realised that previous to our older ones I needed to read more and get more facts.
I too worried all the time, but knowledge is important for making the right decision for you.
Oh and I didn't feel old or that I couldn't parent any worse due to age.
I was mistaken for her grandma when she started school, but the other parents were about 16 -20. By the teacher too, cheeky bugger.