Visitors 😩

[lookingforaline18]

I’m 35 weeks pregnant and had anxiety/depression all the way through. I can’t wait to meet finally meet my precious baby. But the thought of visitors fills me with dread. I don’t mind both sets of parents coming, but DP has 3 brothers and their partners and kids - they are all too much at the best of times, never mind when I have just given birth. They will start commenting on things that do not matter, such as my appearance, and I can’t be doing with it.
How do I go about solving this without WW3 erupting? They will be extremely offended but I want dp to put his foot down and tell them to wait for a week or two.

‘Lookingforaline18 is a bit tired and needs to rest this week/next week, but would you like to come and see her and the new baby on _ (prearranged time/date’

Yes they might be a bit put out but tough luck.

I’d like him to say something along those lines. They’re not going to be happy about it but like you say it’s tough.
They will say things like, “But it’s not just about her you are the dad and we’re family” etc etc... I get they want to meet the baby but I just want to be settled first without them stomping around the place.
They think they have the right to come round unnanounced even without a new baby.

it's not about what they think though. it's up to you and your dp. and tbh more you as you just gave birth & will possibly be trying to establish breastfeeding. if they turn up unannounced I'd hide in the bedroom with the baby and tell dp to say you're both having a nap. stay put till they leave and I doubt they'll do it again.
I don't get why people are so desperate to meet newborns and impose so early on new mums who are recovering.
try not to worry though. the thought of these things is often much worse than the actual event.

If all else fails you can outright lie and say the midwife / health visitor has said no visitors for x days as they want you to concentrate on feeding / a routine / resting and healing. I didn’t put my foot down enough with my first. Dh has been told in no uncertain terms it will not be happening again!

Can they all come on one day? You could arrange a Saturday where they all come to see the baby and suggest a potluck of sorts if they're up for it? Get paper plates and cups so no dishes for you and no cooking.

Alternatively, invite them for tea, cookies and drinks. Preferably on a Sunday afternoon as the kids can't stay up past a certain time for school.

If they can't make it, don't bother going out of your way for them. Take a nap as soon as they arrive. DP can say you had a long night.