Really need to get this off my chest

[Taurus93]

Does anyone else feel like they want to go into isolation and just be left alone?
My aunt has all good intentions but she's driving me mad!
I'm 35 weeks as of today and ever since I hit the third trimester I'm getting almost daily calls and texts. If I don't answer the first time she'll spam my landline and mobile until she's blue in the face. This includes when I go out with my DH for scans/clinics/midwife appointments (or y'know sometimes we like to go out for dinner, swimming, or have any life outside the pregnancy) and if I'm not home to take her call she goes mad at me when I finally do call her back.

I don't have much in the way of a family as both my parents died before I was twenty and I don't have a relationship with my mums mum due to abuse, so I can totally understand why she feels the need to care for me. I feel this amount of calling and texting is a little ridiculous.

Around 28 weeks, she invited herself over to my house without warning for lunch. We could've been out at an appointment (I have more appointments as I was diagnosed with GD) or literally doing anything. She stayed until 8 pm and complained of the taxi price home, so DH and I paid for her taxi. (if anything just to get rid of her, which sounds awful.

Fast foward to more recently, she's been scaring me with premature labour, as she scared me with MC in the beginning, asking every time she calls if I'm bleeding or cramping.
She's stressed me out so much I refuse to talk to her, although now shes demanding I let her in the room with me while I give birth, and that she'll essentially move in with me and DH to "help us out"

She doesn't listen to a word I say when it comes to my unborn baby, like I told her I didn't want her kissing on around his face when he's born and she's said she'll do what she likes because "it never harmed her son." or how she just expects me to come to visit her when he's born, a three hour bus ride, of which I want nothing to do with.

I'm at my wits end. I've currently unplugged my landline and refusing to call her back, which I know will only make things worse.

I just want to dig a hole and sleep until the baby comes and just not tell her a thing or cut off contact altogether.

Can anyone relate?

Op i don't know how you've put up with this for so long. You need to tell her firmly that you appreciate she cares but if she doesn't back off your going to have to cut her out.

Absolutely do not let her into the room while your giving birth. Labour is hard enough, you need someone who is going to support you not stress you out.

Also make it clear she will not be moving in with you.

I hate confrontation and i know it will be really awkward at first but she will get over it eventually. It sounds like she has boundary issues. If you don't nip this in the bud now she'll only get worse.

I agree with advice given above. For tour own sake you must (or DH must) firmly put your foot down and say that you appreciate her being there for you and concerned but you would like your own space during labour/birth and after the baby is born.

Its an awkward conversation to have but once you've had it you'll feel so much better..

I texted her back, explaining I wanted some space and that I felt smothered. I told her she wouldn't be moving in with me or taking care of my baby and if she didn't listen to me about kissing my child then she won't see him. I told her to respect my wishes and I would not be replying until I'd had my baby.

The message I got back was "Please call me! Get DH to call me! I'm so worried."

She's digging herself one hell of a grave.

Oh my goodness she sounds like a nightmare!

Well done for having the courage to send the text.

You've told her you'll contact her after you've had the baby so ignore her till then. If you have to get your dh to tell her to back off.

She sounds unhinged to be honest.

I haven't been in this situation, gladly, but she's doing a very good job of making YOUR pregnancy about her. Do not call her back, be firm, and distance yourself for a while. Good luck OP. You don't need this kind of stress - this experience should be about you, your partner and baby.

"There is nothing to worry about.

We will of course tell you once the baby is born and give you an invitation to come and meet him before friends etc but please please let DH and I enjoy this time in our relationship without your participation.

I love you and I know that your constant and frankly overwhelming hounding comes from a place of love but I cannot cope with meeting your needs over my own.

I will call you next week"

Space Dinosaurs suggestion seems like the way to go. Firm enough.

I know what you mean though, when I mentioned to my own mother that the first day or so I felt it important that me and DH have time to bond with the baby alone she told me she thought I was mentally ill and should seek help. Families, eh?

She sounds like a complete nightmare!

Maybe set a time once a week where you arrange to call to keep her updated but be firm that that is all the contact you are willing to have right now?
Or just separate yourself from her for the time being.

Your well-being is the most important thing right now so do whatever is right for you.

don't tell people (you dont want calling you) your due date or any upcoming doctor appointments. Just tell them you'll let them know once baby is here.