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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

i'm not sure i want this baby

8 replies

wiggy1993 · 14/08/2018 16:00

i'm 13 weeks pregnant and cant seem to stop crying, i really don't feel connected to this baby. Iv been pushing for things and announcing it and planning already just to try and will myself to be excited but i feel so horrible all the time.

its my second baby and with the first i was so excited from the second i took the test, i plodded along doing everything on my own (as the father wasn't present) and i was so happy, once he was born i didn't go postnatal or anything and even though he is 4 now i still feel as protective and loving as i did when i found out.

but this one from the second i found out iv been petrified, i cried when i found out and had a severe panic attack, and as its progressed i just don't seem to be connecting at all sad
my mother even brought me a travel system the other day and has taken me to mothercare and such and i just don't care, she showed me the system and i didn't even smile i just said 'thanks' and was abit blah about it all.

from the word go ill be honest i did look at abortions but when it came to phoning to book an appointment i just couldn't do it.

Im worried im going along with this for everyone elses sake? particularly the father because he does already have a daughter which he was cut off from during the pregnancy and was never allowed to see her.. so this is almost a second chance for him and his family. But with regards to them i feel suffocated and like this baby isn't even mine and although i keep reassuring them they will be in contact i honestly feel like splitting with the father so i don't have to deal with them half as much :/

i can't work out whether its the family making me feel disconnected or whether i don't want my baby in the first place. and i'm really going out my mind because everytime i make an appointment or anything he insists on being there so i can't talk to anyone about it either sad i just want to be excited like last time but don't know what to do

OP posts:
Stephisaur · 14/08/2018 16:25

I think you need to talk to your midwife about pre-natal depression.

What you're feeling isn't unusual, but it needs addressing by someone who can help.

Flowers
wiggy1993 · 14/08/2018 17:52

thank you for the advice

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Poptart4 · 14/08/2018 17:54

It sounds like your first pregnancy was very stressful and lonely. I know you said you were happy and got through it but pregnancy is very hard at the best of times. Going through it alone must have been hard even though you made the best of it.

Your reaction to this pregnancy could be a form of post traumatic stress relating to your first pregnancy. Feelings you've kept buried are coming to the surface.

Definitely talk to your midwife about how your feeling. Pre-natal depression is a real thing and a good midwife will help you get through it.

It also sounds like your in laws are suffocating you abit. Ask your dp to tell them to back off. Your pregnant and don't need them stressing you.

LowPainThreshold · 14/08/2018 22:33

Hi @wiggy1993

I really feel for you. What a hard situation Thanks

Are you able to book a doctors appt and not tell OH about it? You have a right to your privacy and it's important you can talk to someone about this. It sounds like far too much pressure for you from all sides.

PurpleFlower1983 · 15/08/2018 08:43

It sounds like PTSD or prenatal depression. Talk to your midwife Flowers

wiggy1993 · 16/08/2018 10:27

thank you all, ill look into it

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RosiePosies · 23/08/2018 09:00

How are you doing @wiggy1993 ?

wiggy1993 · 10/09/2018 10:19

hi all

i managed to speak to my consultant at the hospital and i am being referred to prenatal mental health, i'm just waiting for an appointment to come through now :)

thank you all for the advice i feel better knowing i'm going to have some support

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