i'm 13 weeks pregnant and cant seem to stop crying, i really don't feel connected to this baby. Iv been pushing for things and announcing it and planning already just to try and will myself to be excited but i feel so horrible all the time.
its my second baby and with the first i was so excited from the second i took the test, i plodded along doing everything on my own (as the father wasn't present) and i was so happy, once he was born i didn't go postnatal or anything and even though he is 4 now i still feel as protective and loving as i did when i found out.
but this one from the second i found out iv been petrified, i cried when i found out and had a severe panic attack, and as its progressed i just don't seem to be connecting at all sad
my mother even brought me a travel system the other day and has taken me to mothercare and such and i just don't care, she showed me the system and i didn't even smile i just said 'thanks' and was abit blah about it all.
from the word go ill be honest i did look at abortions but when it came to phoning to book an appointment i just couldn't do it.
Im worried im going along with this for everyone elses sake? particularly the father because he does already have a daughter which he was cut off from during the pregnancy and was never allowed to see her.. so this is almost a second chance for him and his family. But with regards to them i feel suffocated and like this baby isn't even mine and although i keep reassuring them they will be in contact i honestly feel like splitting with the father so i don't have to deal with them half as much :/
i can't work out whether its the family making me feel disconnected or whether i don't want my baby in the first place. and i'm really going out my mind because everytime i make an appointment or anything he insists on being there so i can't talk to anyone about it either sad i just want to be excited like last time but don't know what to do