Anyone else feel like they're just the worst at being pregnant?

[MotherWildling]

This is my 2nd pregnancy - first was 12 years ago when I was young and sprightly; this time around I'm 38 and it's just not the same.

Please don't get the following lengthy complaint twisted. I am thrilled to be pregnant. When I feel my baby move it makes me happy and my husbands & sons excitement about the pregnancy is lovely .

The problem is that I have been really rubbish since I got pregnant. My friend is two years older than me, 35 weeks pregnant and still working despite spd. She took her kids to Disneyland at 20 weeks - the same stage I am now and all I want to do is sleep.

I thought this was the "honeymoon period" of pregnancy? I was exhausted, very nauseous and with major food aversions for the first 16 weeks. I experienced bleeds, some worryingly heavy, until 13 weeks, then at my 16 week checkup I discovered I'm Rhesus Neg - the antenatal unit had a bit of a panic and quickly injected me with anti-D. I wasn't able to start enjoying pregnancy and bonding with my baby until maybe 17 weeks - the bleeds had stopped, I'd got over the chaos of the 16 week antenatal appointment (it was just horrible), been reassured by a home visit from my lovely midwife with her doppler, I no longer felt sick and actually had my energy back!

I was so relieved when I started feeling better - finally I could start contributing around the house, I started looking for freelance contracts (which I'd been unable to do up to that point, to the detriment of the family income). My husband had been doing everything - working extra hours trying to make up for the money I wasn't making, taking the lead parenting role with our son, keeping on top of the housework and making sure I was ok. He never complained, always reassured and yet I felt constantly guilty ... I say "felt", as if it's just past tense, except I feel the same again now because I'm back to being equally useless.

Just these last few days I've started to feel nauseous again, I'm mentally and physically exhausted, I constantly feel boiling - even when the hot weather has relented, it feels like my head is stuck in a sauna and the only way I can stop from feeling claustrophobic is to stick my head right up in front of a fan. My husband is running around doing everything again, my son is bored which is bringing on challenging behaviour and I don't have the energy to deal with it in any constructive or nurturing way.

I'm sorry about the long message I just really needed to rant and see if anyone can relate. This shitty feeling is overwhelming like the hot weather - I just can't get away from it. What if I'm this crap when baby arrives?!

My youngest is about to turn six and I feel this way. I don’t remember those pregnancies being quite so tough but I don’t know whether that is my mind playing tricks on me or whether it’s my age now. I just feel like utter shit and have from day one.

I suppose every pregnancy is different so it could also be that. I spent at least twelve weeks in the beginning (from week 5-17) feeling sick all day every day. I had about 2-3 weeks of feeling sprightly again before I started to feel big and uncomfortable all of a sudden and began peeing every two seconds with hugely sore breasts that I’d skipped in the first trimester.

I’m now 27+3 and none of my clothes fit, even the maternity stuff I bought. I’m measuring 3 weeks ahead (as per usual for me) so I am huge and whale-like. I’m already waddling and walking at snails pace and everything just aches including the heels of my feet whenever I stand. I have very little energy and can’t quite believe I still have 12-13 weeks of this to go yet.

Looking forward to it all being over and never having to do it again!

Oh girls I feel your pain. Am 29 wks with a 6 year old and 40 years old, really feeling it, think the heat has us all wiped out. That and having a child to mind and being a bit older 😭 thank god for the phone, iPad and cartoons or I think I'd have actually collapsed at this stage, the parenting guilt! Am massive too, grown out of my maternity clothes and nothing fits but leggings and baggy t-shirts, so unattractive on top of it all ...

I’m thankfully done with pregnancy, got 2 dc and finished but I am bloody rubbish at pregnancy. I managed to develop 2 completely different complications in both which caused ill health to both me and dc. Childbirth induced in both...cue birth injuries, more complications etc I thank God for the NHS.

I'm finding this second pregnancy so much harder. I don't know if it's genuinely worse or whether I'm less excited/ things are less new this time so I'm just not coping as well or what. I'm bloated, grumpy and fat, despite having lost 10lbs!

Yep, I'm on pregnancy 3. Wasn't planned as suffered with hyperemesis with my boys and swore I'd never do it again. But here I am, 14 weeks tmrw. Severe hyperemesis again, in and out of hospital and now on steroids. Thankfully it's settling now but now I've got terrible constipation from the meds, terrible piles from the terrible constipation, terrible acne (fuck knows where that's come from) and just this week have started with some incontinence when coughing etc. Oh and a chipped front tooth that the demtist won't touch without an x ray! Seriously. It's just hideous. And then, I'm just looking at the mail online app and see pippa Middleton, looking fucking amazing, riding her bike to the gym! Fml!

I hated being pregnant. Both times. ESP second time tho when I was older and more knackered

I'm not built for it!

My DD is exactly the same, 36 weeks pregnant and has been exhausted from day one. The end is in sight as she is having a section in three weeks time but in between she has one weeks work to finish.

I was rubbish at being pregnant, sick the whole way through, terrible swollen fingers, kept fainting from low blood pressure etc etc.

I never ever got that “glow”.

However my twins were the most beautiful babies ever and ten years on are still far nicer than anyone else’s children

I was rubbish still being pregnant but, it turns out (so far) pretty good at being a Mum.

Hang on in there, you’re half way through.

I can’t really talk about it IRL as I have a few friends struggling to conceive or carry and I’d hate to make them feel bad, so I shall moan here anonymously!

Yes. I’ve been sick since about 3 weeks in, a week before I got a bfp. At my worst I was sick 50x a day. At the start I had to be signed off work for ten weeks because I was so sick I would vomit if I opened my eyes or moved. I needed to be hospitalised and put on a drip.
I’ve been exhausted the whole time. Just bone tired - I’ve never felt exhaustion like it. My gallbladder has stopped working properly due to all the vomiting. I have SPD to the point I’m on crutches and can barely leave the house.

I’m almost 38 weeks and I am still being sick a few tomes a day and feeling sick constantly. I’m tired, I’m in constant pain and I’m just utterly fed up.

This is DC2 and it’s my last.

The end product is totally worth it. Just go easy on yourself, rest and try not to compare to others. Some lucky women sail through glowing, many of us don’t. At least we have a modern medical system ...

I feel exactly the same way. This is pregnancy number 3, my other children are 14 and 10, and I'm 36 years old and 38 weeks with what will most definitely be my last baby! The early stages weren't too bad, then I had several bleeds, last one at 13weeks due to s sub chorionic haematoma, then I developed spd at 20 weeks, been signed off work and on crutches since 26 weeks. I'm so fed up. I can't really leave the house, and the heat we've had for the last 6 weeks or so has nearly killed me off! 😂 all that aside, I can't wait to meet baby, and I know that it will all have been worth it. Totally agree with pp who said it's a lot harder being pregnant when you're older. I sailed through with my other 2!

Yup. Mad as a box of frogs w anxiety which has finally started to subside in second trimester but so so so tired, useless round the house and at tbh not much cop at work and weird mad racing heart. No flow here!

I hated pregnancy. Both times I had nausea the whole way through, antenatal depression, food aversions (I was slimmer immediately post birth than I was pre-pregnancy because I had no appetite, I'd eat a few mouthfuls and feel full. Piled it all back on again after as breastfeeding made me ravenous!), ended up on crutches because of SPD, constantly exhausted but I couldn't sleep well because of heartburn, pelvis pain and restless legs. I had severe headaches for the last couple of weeks of my second pregnancy but because my blood pressure was fine I got told it was just one of those things. With both babies we had to see a foetal medicine consultant because of concerns at the 20 week scan. Nothing major in the end but it was a couple of weeks of added stress I could have done without.

I mean, things could have been a lot worse, and I'm very fortunate to have had two healthy babies (each born with problems but easily sorted DDH for DS1 and talipes and a small hole in the heart for DS2) but it was still pretty rough going. It's certainly put me off having any more. I spent 9 months waiting for that glow. I think I had a brief period at around 28 weeks when I didn't feel rotten but that was it! It didn't help that I had MIL and my Mum going on about what a wonderful time pregnancy is and how much they loved it.

I’m 40, 32 weeks with DC2. We are moving house next week and I have 4 weeks of work left. I have constant heartburn, can’t sleep due to being uncomfortable and generally feel exhausted and terrible! This pregnancy has been so much worse than last time. I totally feel your pain! I cannot wait for it to be over but I know how ungrateful that makes me sound!

I'm the worst at being pregnant. love the feeling of the baby inside me but that's about it.
so exhausted that I fell asleep at people's houses and on public transport .
I also got irritable and couldn't walk due to spd. all i did was eat and sleep and throw up for 6 months.
I want another baby but have put it off for 2 years due to how horrible pregnancies are to me.