Panicpanicpanic

[captainshortie]

So im having a mini panic.
Am i totally in over my head having a baby?
Will i ever be fully prepared with things that theyll need?
Do I REALLY need a tumble dryer? If i get one how will I afford my electric bill?
When should I start my maternity leave? (Due 5th feb)
Will I have enough money to be able to afford to live? (OH doesnt work)
Will I manage labour?
Will I manage in general?
Omg

Sorry to ramble I needed to get that out...

You will find a way to make it all work. Why doesn't OH work? Surely they will be doing the majority of childcare once you go back to work so it's not all on you to solve all these problems.

Plus labour is where the drugs are okay/ highly recommended and a tumble dryer isn't needed but does make things easier.

You will manage, make sure OH is involved from the start make it clear what you expect from them - you aren't doing this alone.

people have raised babies for thousands of years without all these gadgets and 'tumble dryers' etc, don't worry yourself about it, and they gave birth fine even without the pain relief people get now! if people did great all them years ago, you'll do great now, thousands of people have done this before you, and thousands will after you, and I think all of them have had similar feelings! you will be great x

You definitely don’t need a tumble dryer and they do cost a fortune to run.

We got rid of ours and got a Lakeland heated airer instead. It’s about 5p an hour to run. And dries clothes really well.

Firstly, you definitely don’t need a tumble dryer - I have two children and don’t have one - so don’t worry about that. Secondly, you don’t really need that much stuff for a baby to start with. There is a lot of pressure to buy a lot of stuff but lots of it is unnecessary. Get the basics and then take it as it comes, lots of people will help or give you things second-hand. Thirdly, labour os totally manageable - I’m a complete and utter wimp and managed to get through it twice.

You’ll be fine, congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck.

I can’t remember life before my tumble dryer & it hasn’t affected our electric bills. In fact it lowered our gas bill as it warmed the kitchen up.

Birth - read active birthing & books on hypnobirthing. Ask for POSITIVE birthing stories like my second was 2 hours, home birth, no pain relief. Amazing.

Start maternity leave as late as you possibly can.
Can OH work or is that not an option?

You can buy anything you need as & when. There’s Amazon & 24 hour supermarkets.

First, everything you’re feeling is normal. Panicky meltdowns are completely normal, just take a deep breath. You don’t have to have all of the answers today!

1. Everyone feels like this. We planned for our baby and I still had the “what the hell have I done?!” feeling. But you take each day as it comes and it doesn’t seem so scary. That being said if you have things going on at home and you’re not sure if you can cope, speak to your midwife for support, that’s what they’re there for.

1. you could probably buy one of everything from Mothercare and still not have everything that websites will tell you are ‘must have’s’. As long as the baby has somewhere to sleep, a few outfits, a car seat if you’re being driven home and some nappies, they’ll be happy.

1. If you don’t want a tumble dryer/think it would be a stretch to run one, don’t get one. Our grandparents/parents didn’t have them and we all survived!

1. If you need to make the decision on your mat leave soon then I’d think about what annual leave you have that you could add on to the start so your mat pay kicks in a bit later. If you’re on your feet/in a physical job you may want to go a bit earlier. If you’re in an office you might want to wait a bit longer. About 36 weeks is average I think. If you have time before you need to make a decision I’d wait a bit and see how you think you’re pregnancy is going, if you’re getting lots of back pain it might be too much to stay in work longer etc.

1. Check out any financial support/ grants you may be entitled to now while you have time to fill out forms etc. The government do a Sure Start grant that may be of interest www.gov.uk/sure-start-maternity-grant. If not, go over your current outgoings to see where you could save/cut back.

1. I’m struggling with the labour question myself! I got some free hypnobirthing mp3s downloaded to my phone that are supposed to be good for calming you before/during labour www.penguin.co.uk/articles/book-talk/mindful-hypnobirthing/

1. Chat to your OH, get them on board now with ideas of how they can help. It’s easier to lay out your expectations now rather than when you’re both tired and stressed. Make sure you take advantage of people offering help/support. Although it feels like a one woman show at the moment, once the baby’s here everyone else can pitch in and it won’t be solely on your shoulders.

Feel free to ramble, this pregnancy lark isn’t easy. The very fact that you’re worried about these things mean that you are going to be amazing. Be kind to yourself 💐

Oh thank god not only me then!! Feel a bit better now, still trying to stay calm, i know stress etc is bad for baby.
OH has been looking for work for ages now but hasnt had anything back :(
Had another thought on how id pay my rent when im off but realised id get help with benefits etc and would be getting my smp weekly, so slightly releived. Told OH to just get a part time job so I can go back to work! Haha

If anyone ever said they felt fully prepared to have a baby then I would be very surprised, and I certainly didn't, but you don't have to - you can work things out as you go along. Most mammas just muddle along and do just fine - sure you will too, so don't panic! try to enjoy your pregnancy :D