Not happy with DM not respecting my wishes

[Toomanyorchids]

I've been TTC for many many years and had several rounds of ivf.
Finally we hit success on our 5th attempt but it's not been plain sailing and I've had quite a lot of bleeding and lots of hospital & midwife appointments.
I told my parents at 12 weeks but told them to keep it quiet until we were in a better position and feeling a little more safe about things.
My DM has completely ignored my wishes and told everyone she's seen including my old school friends, neighbours, hairdressers, long lost relatives - everyone.

I know a lot of people announce pg at 12 weeks but because of my problems we didn't feel confident enough- now I've had it completely taken out if my hands. Plus I don't even get the glory of telling people myself of my long awaited pregnancy. I'm a bit pissed off to be honest.

Would you say anything or should I just bite my lip?

Rant over!!

I’d 100% say something, otherwise you’ll find that the exact same thing will happen when it comes to announcing the birth.

I'd definitely say something and explain you're upset but I wouldn't go in guns blazing as she's obviously excited. Not that that's an excuse - she's out of order, but it would be a shame to have an argument about something that should be a happy occasion.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

I would say something! My mum did the same to me! It was before 12 weeks to be honest, my mum told someone at about 9 weeks but that doesn’t matter, you should be the one to tell people first . If you’ve told someone to respect your wishes they should do that. She should have let you have your moment. It’s a special time especially as it’s taken you so long, she shouldn’t have said anything. She’s obviously excited but i don’t think it’s anyones place to say apart from you and your other halves!

Congratulations:)

Congratulations.

I’d just tell her that you don’t feel comfortable telling her anything else from now on because she can’t be trusted.

That should get your point across.

I’d say something. My mum did the same and I was furious. I’m 36 weeks now and she still relentlessly overshares anything I tell her about my pregnancy so guess what... she loses out because I just won’t share with her now! It’ll be the same when wee one is here. I’d rather some random woman from her work didn’t know the gory details of my labour

Definitely say something! We waited until 14 weeks before telling anyone for this reason. Pretty soon after, MIL who said she wouldn't tell anyone was shouting it across a restaurant one evening (drunk), announcing it to random people I've never met before. If I can't trust people to respect my wishes, unfortunately they get left out of the loop a little more.

Just tell her you'll not confide in her again if she's so freely spreading your news - it's not hers to share

This sounds just like my mother. She even discusses our private family business with strangers at the bus stop 😱 so annoying.

Id tell her your upset that she told people before you were ready and also that after trying for so long she took your moment away from you, which is so selfish imo.

Because of this id seriously consider not telling her when the baby is born. I mean obviously I d tell her eventually but only after i had the pleasure of telling others first or else she'll steal that moment from you too.

My mum did this... I had a go at her but then when calmed down realised that she had been secretly waiting and waiting for me to tell her im pregnant...She couldn't contain herself and told a few close friends of hers, i realised that she was really excited.

It's one of the hardest things, when our parents are so excited on our behalf they just want to shout it from the rooftops. I'd make sure to tell her how this has made you feel so she understands the gravity of what she's done. If I were in your shoes I'd probably not tell her when I went into labour to avoid a repeat and only tell her of the birth a few hours later, maybe just before I announced it myself. You'll decide what's right in your scenario but I'm sorry the moment has been taken away from you after all you've been through.