Hi! I'm 24, 5 weeks ago I found out that I was pregnant, currently I'm 7 weeks with my first child and this baby is happening out of wedlock. I understand the difficulty of raising a child, moreover raising it as a single mom. I grew up in a Christian family where sex before marriage was not okay. I dated an amazing man(so I thought)
He is going to be 30 in Sep.
We dated for a year, honestly he was everything I could ask for, handsome, very hard working, smart, business man. I fell in love, he made me very happy and everything was great, we were planning for a future together.
After dating this man, he told me that he already has a child; a three year old girl. However nobody knew about it, not even his family because the child was with a married woman, she cheated on her husband and got pregnant, even the husband didn't know that it wasn't his child so they decided to keep it a secret.
After he told me this I still continued to be with him because I loved him, and wouldn't let something that happened years ago effect my view on him. I knew that the truth will come out one day and I will chose to stay by his side when it does.
(But recently the woman left her husband, and has been pushing him to take responsibility of the kid, I know she is doing this because of money issues and that she doesn't care about anything else.)
I grew up in a Christian traditional family...
I always wanted to have a family of my own, get married to a great man then have kids and make the best of what life offers, however dating this man I pushed my Christian boundaries and we were having sex before marriage.
I have strong beliefs and always been against abortion, I love kids! And he knew that from the beginning because I was always open about it, we even discussed what would happen if I was to get pregnant.
of course I got pregnant! and I knew that he will be against this child, I told him anyways. His first response was "we have to take care of it" "we can't have this baby out of wedlock" "I can't do this"
And from first day he was pushing me to have an abortion. My answer was no and that I am having this child with or without you.
I know when my pregnancy comes out what my family will say, friends, everyone will have an opinion and share judgement of me getting pregnant out of marriage; honestly
I am ready to hear all the negative things
but I am not going to have an abortion.
I can forgive myself, moreover I know God can forgive me... the sin of having sex before marriage
who hasn't stumbled and sinned against God. I've been praying and already feel His peace over me, and I feel that I've found refuge in Him... now I am trying to trust Him that He will make something good out of my mess.
but I know that if I was to abort I would never forgive myself, I wouldn't know how to life with such burden on my heart nonetheless how would I later allow myself to have another child. I am not going to let my fear, peoples judgment, churches negativity and especially the babies father to push me to abort. I already feel unmeasurable love for my baby and would never let anything hurt this child, honestly i would take my own life before taking an innocent child's life.
It's been 5 weeks since I've found out that I am pregnant, I haven't told anyone yet. The only person that knows is the father of the baby, but he clearly doesn't want anything to do with me or this child.
few weeks after he found out that I am pregnant
he wrote me and said that there is someone else that he wants to be with
although, I had no idea that there was someone else in his life because he never showed me a sign or anything that would make me doubt the relationship we had.
I was so blindsided with the love I had for him that I didn't see this coming, I am still in a lot of pain from the way that he has been treating me and this child
He continually is bushing me to abort, and is not giving me another choice. He said that this baby will mess his life and that he is not going to have another child, supporting two mothers and two kids. That this child is an inconvenience to him and if I decide to keep the child that he will not be in the picture not not during my pregnancy and later when the baby arrives. He cares more about the comfortable life that he has and about other peoples opinions more than his own baby.
I know that I will be a single mom, I am not asking him of anything.. by now I've lost all respect for him and I am not asking for any support
I actually accepted my unplanned pregnancy and have been doing my best to take care of myself, I've been joyful and trying to enjoy my pregnancy as much as I can even when I'll be doing this myself. I've been looking for a second job to save up as much as I can before my due date and I know I will do anything to provide a good life for this child.
I am asking for any good advice on my situation!
I'm been just completely broken and exhausted trying to battle this on my own. And battle the father against abortion. I've been praying that he would open his heart towards God and this child..
I am not asking for judgment because I know that once my pregnancy comes out publicly I will have plenty of that from my family and friends.
I am looking for an encouragement from people who have gone through pregnancies alone and just to hear your story.
Thank you !