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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Frontline ambulance worker and pregnant

28 replies

Wordie · 02/08/2018 03:29

Hi everyone,

I work on emergency ambulances in a very rough area of Manchester. I found out I was pregnant on Saturday. I’m not 100% on my dates but am between 5 - 7 weeks pregnant. The ambulance service encourages female staff to tell them immediately if pregnant, so they can be taken off the road and put on light duties. However, most people wait till at least 15 weeks to say anything. You would think paramedics are understanding and caring but actually they can all be quite judgemental and I feel they would be quite bitchy about me coming off the road so early. Plus, I had a miscarriage last cycle at 5 weeks, so didn’t want to say anything too early in case it went wrong. I decided to wait until I was 10 weeks, as I have 3 weeks annual leave so would start light duties at 13 but tonight I’ve had 3 drug users, all with Hep c and and some with HIV. I’ve just spent 30 minutes on my own with a patient and when we got to hospital, I’ve been told that he is on bail for raping a nurse last week!!!! I feel so upset and angry. I’m used to dealing with it but now feel vulnerable.

Am I being stupid by not coming off frontline straight away? Anyone else work in the emergency services and in a similar situation??

Please be kind.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Owlettele · 02/08/2018 03:44

I don't have any advice but want to say thank you for the job you do . What you out up with to provide such a valuable service to our country is amazing. There are not many who would I am sure . So without knowledge of the service if you feel the need to protect you and your baby sooner please don't feel guilty. Congratulations and O wish you all the best with the pregnancy. Sorry to hear of your loss

stolemyusername · 02/08/2018 03:47

Put yourself first, don't worry about anyone elses thoughts/opinions!

Fefifoefum · 02/08/2018 04:02

Slightly different, but I’m a nurse in A&E. Unfortunately no light duties to do.
Totally with you on feeling vulnerable, sat in a triage room alone with patients at 4am used to make me wary. I was the senior nurse in charge of the department, on nights, right up until 36 weeks. I was half dead by then, but like you felt I had to carry on, I was ‘only’ pregnant. I vividly remember running full pelt to get some blood at 6am for a trauma, not ok!
My baby is here, I’m breastfeeding her as I type, she’s beautiful and perfect, if a little wild!

If you want to go on light duties, do it, don’t worry about anybody else. You need to look after you! Your job is insanely tough. And there is no way to protect yourself from that element of the unknown.
Love to you!

QuarrellingElephants · 02/08/2018 04:17

You sound to me like you're worried and would be much more comfortable on light duties.

I am not in the emergency services myself, but I have friends and family who are. The thing they all have in common is that they put themselves last. I would say it's not just you now, it's you and your baby. No-one else will put you first, you do a fantastic and difficult job, you absolutely do not owe anyone anything. So don't feel guilty about putting yourself and your baby first.

Original poster

Wordie · 02/08/2018 04:20

Thank you for your replies! @Owlettele that is very kind, I love the job and can’t imagine doing anything else

@Fefifoefum it amazes me that A/E nurses work full shifts throughout. As you know, you’ve got to be dying/dead before you would have any sympathy from us NHS staff. Congratulations on your little girl!!

OP posts:

Allthatsnot · 02/08/2018 04:21

You are actively encouraged to tell them and go on light duties for a reason. Your job is tough, physically demanding and can be dangerous.
Ignore your colleagues and do what is right for you and the baby, a certain amount of piss taking is expected but it should all be in reasonably good humour and not actually make you feel bad.
What would you tell someone else to do if they were in your position?

flamingox · 02/08/2018 04:23

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. This is the one time you have a right to think about yourself! You need to put you and your baby first. Congratulations and good luck x

INeedNewShoes · 02/08/2018 04:26

Please put yourself first. I promise that you won't give two hoots about what anyone thinks by the time your baby arrives. You are programmed by hormones to protect yourself and your baby and that is for a reason.

redcaryellowcar · 02/08/2018 04:30

I have a work colleague who said to me, (in a far less physically demanding job) that no one gets a medal, or in fact any recognition for carrying on, I think my colleagues probably raised an eyebrow or two as I had a few days off when I was so sick I could barely stand up, but it wouldn't have been safe for me to drive anywhere, and I drove a lot for my job. Tell work if you think that will make you feel less vulnerable, it's ok to pot yourself and your baby first.

FiftyYearsAfterBrexit · 02/08/2018 07:58

You do an amazing job - thank you!

The cycle of judgement perpetuates because nobody leaves the front line when they are entitled. The culture continues. Perhaps if you do, the next pregnant woman will feel more able to too.

And you certainly don't get any medals for risking yourself or your baby. The bottom line is actually that nobody cares. If something went wrong there'd be sympathy, but that's useless! The kindness has use BEFORE something bad were to happen.

Do what you choose is right for you, within the entitlements of your job. And let others judge. They'll get over it

Liverbird77 · 02/08/2018 09:30

You are a really lovely, selfless person. Please, please put yourself first. As much as you may love your job, and no matter how good you are at it, you are replaceable. To your family, you are irreplaceable. If anyone is "bitchy" about it, it is there issue and they deserve to be challenged. Please take care of yourself and thank you for your service xx

Liverbird77 · 02/08/2018 09:31

*their (sorry)

jess21690 · 02/08/2018 09:34

Really feel for you, my situation is nowhere near as dangerous but I teach in a school for children with mental health problems. It can be very physical and I've had many blows to the stomach over the years. I've just found out I'm pregnant and am already terrified about going back, I love my job and always run towards situations without thinking about myself but that all has to change now.
I'm determined that if they can't put measures in place to make me feel safe I will get signed off for light (out of classroom) duties and my doctor has reassured me they will do that as soon as I ask.
This is your time to be selfish, I think the other ladies are right, a bit of bitchiness is definitely worth it!! Good luck x

MermaidCafe · 02/08/2018 09:34

Oh please put yourself first and take the option of light duties as is part of your offer. I am a child protection social worker and there is no such offer - at 30+ weeks I was sent to remove 4 children - parents turned very aggressive and ended up with police being called - I felt very let down by management. Prioritise your baby. All the best.

surreygirl1987 · 02/08/2018 10:10

Put yourself and the baby first and don't worry about what others think - at the end of the day other people's thoughts events as important as the well-being of you and your family.

Massive respect for all that you do.

Countingchickens · 02/08/2018 12:01

Hi Op, I'm a front line police officer and I know how you feel. Yesterday I helped out with a cardiac arrest on the motorway. My colleague asked me to help pull the unresponsive patient out of the car so we could start CPR. Whilst I'm early days (5+0) I managed to get my male colleague to help whilst I called an ambo and dealt with the partner and family.
It's scary and I checked my work policies but they say 12 weeks. I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today but I don't want to say anything until then as light duties isn't going to be paperwork and probably a new team for 5 months. I can't really offer you any advice but just reassurance that I know how you feel and I plan to take it steady.

Bibijayne · 02/08/2018 12:02

This is a time to put you and your safety first. Tell your boss. If people are cruel - ignore them/ report them (whatever you feel comfortable with!)

RoxytheRexy · 02/08/2018 16:50

I’m an ITU nurse and know exactly how you feel. There is very little sympathy here. Our department is a Major Trauma Centre and we definitely have a ‘if you can’t take the heat’ attitude.

I’m 20 weeks and I’ve been fainting with low blood pressure. Last week I was asked to transfer a critically ill patient to another hospital over 2 hours away. And when I refused I got a very shitty response.

Protect yourself. No one else will

Darkstar4855 · 02/08/2018 16:51

I work in A&E and our ambulance colleagues are taken straight off front line duties when pregnant - sometimes they say they have a back injury or similar so that they can announce the pregnancy when they are ready.

In A&E I do usual duties minus heavy lifting and I don’t see infectious/violent patients but I’m guessing it’s not possible to avoid those aspects of frontline work!

Honestly I think you are better coming off frontline work and just ignoring any bitching. If something happened to you and the baby was affected then you might regret not doing so. I’d say better safe than sorry.

Darkstar4855 · 02/08/2018 16:55

Should add that my two paramedic colleagues who were/are recently pregnant both went on light duties as soon as they found out (around 6-7 weeks) and there was no question of them waiting until 15 weeks nor did anyone criticise or bitch about it but maybe it’s a less macho culture here (rural area down south).

sirlee66 · 02/08/2018 16:58

Thank you so much, OP and the PP's who work front line in the hardest bloody jobs. I couldn't do it so thank you so much to you selfless people that do. If I ruled the world, you would be paid footballer's wages. You are actual heros and have my upmost appreciation.

I agree with PP who say to look after yourself now, OP. I wish you all the very best and a healthy, happy pregnancy. Congratulations.

Ididnothearthat · 02/08/2018 17:00

My husband is a paramedic and I completely understand what you mean about other medics might not understand as things are very hard right now on the front line. But since we are ttc he now fully understands and if I was a paramedic he would want me off the road straight away. For yours and your baby sake come off. And if anyone questions you tell them what if it them/was their partner having the baby.

Toohot12244 · 02/08/2018 17:05

I am frontline police (named changed for this post). I found out quite early in pregnancy and had no problems until about 7 weeks when I went to an aggressive male and needed back up etc. I went onto light duties after this and didn’t have any front line duties at all and did all office based duties.
Police are really good with it and the moment you tell them you are you are put on restricted duties.
I’d go for it OP it’s not worth it at all

Toohot12244 · 02/08/2018 17:06

@Countingchickens I’d tell you Sgt and go on light duties, it’s not worth the risk

QuickWash · 02/08/2018 17:36

I worked in a clinical role while pregnant with dc1 with dangerous/unpredictable and potentially infectious patients. I worked so hard and shied from nothing in an attempt to prove I wasn't 'making excuses' but after an incident in which I thought I may lose the baby around 20 weeks the penny dropped that that would be life ruining for me and my little family but work would carry on as per regardless.

After that I roriitised me and and my babies above everything else and made no apologies for do in doing so. Now my dc are here I know how hard I would fight to protect them from harm - do that from the start and stuff everyone else.

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