So confused?

[Sophwalms]

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and this is my 2nd baby. I had a traumatic birth with ventouse and forceps after a 72 hour labour. I'm petrified of having to do it again I don't know what to do? I'm also terrified of a c section? Can anyone advise me the best birthing options for me? X

Read the positive birth book by Milli Hill as she goes through in detail all different types of birthing plans and has a realistic take on second labours. I'd recommend a hypnonirthing course too . Congratulations

Thank you xx

Obviously this is purely anecdotal but I had a 72 hour back to back labour with ventouse with DD1 (and second degree tear) and DD2’s birth was an absolute breeze. 3 hours active labour, 10 mins pushing and no tearing. Second births are often far easier.
Can you chat through the options with your midwife?

I’d ask for the details of why they think your birth was so long (was it “just” a slow first labour in which case it’s likely to be faster this time, or was there a reason for it). Then examine the forceps/ventouse part - was it shoulder dystocia, was it because the baby was distressed, was it something else.
If you can find out why these happened I think you can have a good idea of whether they are likely to reoccur. Then you can make a decision

Yes a birth debrief would be a good idea.

Ok I see my midwife on Tuesday I'll go through it with her x

I had a 36 hr birth with forcep delivery with my first dc. Absolutely horrible and i think i had ptsd for a couple of years after it. Would randomly burst into tears about it etc.

But my 2nd child born 2 and a half years later was an absolute delight to give birth to. Honestly id have 100 babies if all their births were like hers. Born within 6 hrs, had an epidural so no pain and just me, dp and midwife in the room. It was such a calm experience compared to my sons delivery which was all panic and loads of people plus very painful.

In alot of ways dd's birth helped me get over the trauma of ds's birth.

So do u think an elective c section isn't the answer? X

It’s impossible to say as it’s entirely personal choice.
The reasons I didn’t go for an ELCS are...

1. I knew what had gone ‘wrong’ the first time and I knew these things carried no additional risk of being repeated.
2. I had a 19 month old and didn’t want to be recovering from a C-section while looking after her and a newborn.

It worked out well for me, but all circumstances are different.

I had failed ventouse and forced delivery for ds1. I was scared about delivery of my second but his delivery was completely different. I told the midwives of my fear at the start of labour and they were amazing. I had a straightforward delivery with ds2 . Talk to your midwife and see what they think.

Its hard to say op. Everyone is different but for me im glad i didnt get the c section as like i said the 2nd birth went so well it helped me get over the first.

I'm similar to some of the previous posters. Massively long, drawn out labour with ds1, stalled for 8 hours, went on a drip etc etc ending with ventouse delivery, took me a long long time to feel remotely myself emotionally after it.

With ds2 it was totally different, active labour for about 4 hours, pushed for less than 5 mins and he was there. This was massively healing for me.

Your first labour/delivery doesn't dictate what your second will be like - no one can guarantee what it will be like, but just because you had a bad experience the first time doesn't mean you will have a bad experience the second.

Yes I'm just scared! As it's getting nearer to baby's due date I think omg! I will chat to my midwife on Tuesday see what she says xx

Positive Birth Company - digital pack. Can't recommend it enough for staying calm, understanding birth and feeling in control. Good ouf OP.

*good luck is what I meant to say!