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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant after mc - how to stay calm

22 replies

theworstwife · 30/07/2018 11:58

Just got a BFP at 4 weeks pregnant, trying for 14 months for DC2. I had a mc at 6 weeks in May and now think this pregnancy is going to go the same way. I am a bit older and a bit of a chub so feel I’m higher risk. Can’t stop checking for bleeding etc. How did anyone else cope? I’m going to book an early scan around 8 weeks if everything is still ok then.

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Mousefunky · 30/07/2018 12:28

Unfortunately there was no real way to stay calm for me, I just had to wait it out until the first trimester was over. It was a horrible ten week wait between finding out I was pregnant at 4 weeks and having the dating scan at 13+6. I refused to have a private scan as I had two in my last pregnancy which showed a strong heartbeat then still went on to have my second missed miscarriage which was discovered at the 12 week dating scan. I just tried to carry on with life as normal and had sort of accepted that it would most likely be bad news so seeing a wiggling baby at the scan was a huge shock . I’m 26+1 now and all is well.

Original poster

theworstwife · 30/07/2018 12:37

Congrats @mousefunky. It seems like an age to get through. I am trying to be sensible but it’s not in my nature

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rubyroot · 30/07/2018 12:40

Was just about to say to mousefunky- there is no way to stay calm.

I miscarried first time and I think I would be categorised as an older Mum- though there's so many people having babies earlier.

I had a scan at weeks the second time I got pregnant- there was a heartbeat- but it still didnt stop me worrying. I had about five extra private scans which to be honest were probably a waste of money as I still was neurotic all the way through.

I didn't stop until I had my baby in my arms!!

And, now I just worry about my baby- but at least I can see him to check on him. :)

rubyroot · 30/07/2018 12:40

same as mousefunky, not to

rubyroot · 30/07/2018 12:42

Also should say scan at 8 weeks- doh!

rubyroot · 30/07/2018 12:43

And later, not earlier.

I have baby brain, plus pregnancy brain plus dealing with sleep regression brain. Btw- I am worrying about miscarriage- AGAIN

Bear2014 · 30/07/2018 12:43

I had a mc at 10 weeks when trying for DC2. When I got pregnant again the only way I could stay remotely calm was by having scans at 8 and 10 weeks, to see me through to the 12 week scan. After that I calmed down a lot. Good luck!

rubyroot · 30/07/2018 12:45

Hi Bear- snap. I also had scans exactly the same time as you!

eyesontheprize57 · 30/07/2018 12:49

I had a very similar experience and am now 21 weeks with my second. the first half of this pregnancy have felt like an eternity as have struggled with my anxiety quite considerably. I tried to focus on getting from one week to the next and had some additional private scans in between my 12 and 20 week scans too which helped a great deal.

Original poster

theworstwife · 30/07/2018 13:39

Thank you all for your comments - makes me feel less alone. I’m finding it hard already to concentrate. It’s difficult because I don’t want to talk to people IRL about it yet and my husband is worried too so don’t want to stress him out further. I think our local ultrasound place is going to see a fair bit of me in the next few weeks

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VillageFete · 30/07/2018 13:47

I feel your pain. I am 5+2 and in bits on a daily basis (4 years of infertility, multiple operations, 6 months of clomid and 2 failed rounds of IVF - this is a miracle, natural pregnancy) I am terrified!!! Got a scan booked for Friday at 5+6, not sure what they will see though? Will probably go on a weekly basis until 12 weeks if i’m being honest.

rubyroot · 30/07/2018 13:47

Know exactly how you feel- time stands still! I shared with my friends, I figured if I miscarried I would want to share and if they don’t know you’re pregnant in the first place- makes it harder to share.

I’m not sure about all this secrecy surrounding pregnancy and miscarriage- it feels like there’s something we should be ashamed of if we do miscarry, that we shouldn’t speak about it in case someone doesn’t know what to say.

It’s very common, perhaps consider sharing with close friends if you don’t want to share with your fam x

rubyroot · 30/07/2018 13:49

Villagefete

Miracles do happen, got my fingers crossed for you.

Not always poss to see heartbeat at 6 weeks, this could create extra anxiety for you. I hope it doesnt

VillageFete · 30/07/2018 14:09

Thanks @roobyroot I know, I guess I shouldn’t panic over heartbeat with only being 5+6? I’ll book back in for 6+4 or 6+5 if not. This scan is at the early pregnancy unit. They want to scan me to check it’s not ectopic (I have a blocked tube as well as PCOS)

rubyroot · 30/07/2018 14:32

Yep- don't panic- but guess epau will tell you that.

If they'll book you back in for free- go for it- otherwise I would wait for at least 7 weeks if booking in privately. I know that the place near me recommends 7 weeks at least

moleeye · 30/07/2018 15:20

Ladies I echo all of your feelings! The fear is crippling me 😔

I'm 5+3, after two years of trying and a failed IVf we are preg naturally as well. I cannot stop worrying.

I've booked a scan for 12th when I will be 7+2 am hoping that might see me through to my 12 week scan but I'm terrified something bad is going to happen. Trying to stay calm but it is so hard

Hugs to you all xx

Mousefunky · 30/07/2018 15:25

I do hope all goes well for you this time . If everything is fine at the dating scan, I promise you will feel a lot more relaxed. I have always found reasons to be anxious nevertheless, I was terrified they would find something wrong at the anomaly scan for example which was made worse by needing a re-scan due to baby’s positioning. I still get anxious every so often about movements as well but I’m nowhere near as anxious as I was during the first trimester.

It’s always hard being pregnant after loss . You do have to remember that the stats are very much in your favour. I know how it feels to be that 1% so I don’t have a lot of faith in stats but I know it helps some people.

Original poster

theworstwife · 30/07/2018 15:31

Oh @villagefete that is so much to go through - I have everything crossed for you. Just back from my hourly toilet check! I just really hate being upset in front of people which is why I have kept things to myself. Might have to tell a colleague at some point

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JohnLapsleyParlabane · 30/07/2018 15:37

I'm in the same boat. MMC in March. I'm 5+3 by LMP dates but I think more likely to be 4 and something. Our local EPU will see you from 6weeks for a reassurance scan if you have lost one, I'm going on the 8th, so I'll be at least 6wks then.

VillageFete · 30/07/2018 15:56

Thanks all for your kindness! Hoping to God I see the flicker of a heartbeat on Fri, but if not i’ll pay for another scan a bit later on. It’s non stop worry! Had my bloods done for progesterone today (At my GP) But wouldn’t even know how to interpret the results when I get them back. What’s normal for 5 weeks?

Original poster

theworstwife · 31/07/2018 07:59

@villagefete I’m not sure about progesterone in early pregnancy - think it can vary quite a bit. Hopefully your GP can explain the results to you - hope everything goes well x

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Purple999Red · 31/07/2018 08:17

The truth is that I also have little knowledge about this.. I will take note of the comments on this thread.

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