4th surprise pregnancy! Advise???

[Rosie87]

I have just found out I am expecting again. Pregnancy number 4 and I really don't know what to do. We already have 3 and had decided our family was complete. Our heads are saying one thing and hearts another. I'm just so confused and could do with some comments from other people that have been in this situation please.

Hi there, I'm currently in this situation! Pregnant with baby number 4, 29 weeks tomorrow!
We have a son who's 8, daughter who's nearly 7, and another daughter who's nearly 4. We are expecting another boy 😊.

This baby wasn't in our plan & was a bit of a shock at first as i was already 10 weeks when we found out & had got rid of everything last year!

From my opinion i cannot wait for our little boy to get here now, i will love him as much as i do my other three & he will never know that he wasn't planned as in a way he was meant to be.

I've experienced anxiety and fear but all that has melted away at my scans and feeling him move, i wouldn't have things differently at all.

Just go with what you feel is best for your family. X

I'm pregnant with number 4 16 year old, 13 year old and 8 year old. I always said I was don't then me and my husband of 10 years split and I met someone else we are now expecting in March

Thank you. 4 is just just a whole different kettle of fish isn't it? I will have 15, 7 and 4 when this one is due. Such a difficult decision and I have always had really strong opinions on it. Husband is very supportive but also looks at the practical side. We have also sold everything baby related so would would be starting from scratch. Heart is saying just deal with it everything will be fine. Also terrified of the alternative to be honest!

I think no-ones situation will ever be identical so it really comes down to weighing up what's best for your family.

I was terrified when i found out as it really wasn't in our plan and i was the family member on both sides quite set that our three were enough, my husband was included in this too, we were both content with our life.

When i found out i was so scared of how will we cope etc but i knew that we will regardless, yes it's not ideal starting again but we're also pro now & know what's needed for baby and what's not.

I think if you have any glimmer of doubt about not keeping the baby definitely speak thoroughly with your husband, for us that wasn't ever a choice as i know i would never be able to go through with it but i do understand why people do make that choice.

I hope you manage to come to a decision, no-one can judge a choice someone else makes unless they are living it, but whatever you decide will be the right choice for you. X

See I don't think I could go through with it either, I think I would always regret it. I feel guilty for even considering it to be honest. We would need a new car and our financial situation isn't the best but in my eyes that also isn't a reason not to have a baby. It feels almost selfish. How do your other children feel about the impending new arrival? My youngest has some additional needs and I'm just not sure how he would cope?

Yeah it's hard to ignore feelings of guilt but it is also natural to have this fear i did too, mainly for reasons similar to yours, worrying about cars, finances etc as we are saving for a house but this will not stop it may just take a little longer that's all.

My son has special needs too, he is on the autistic spectrum & has some other needs relating to this but he is over the moon as are our girls, we have included them as much as possible and he loves touching my belly and talking to his brother, they all do.

In regards to your situation with a car, with you having a 15 year old it may be easy for you to work round it for a while so i wouldn't let things like that stress you too much, we did but it does get easier, i think where it came as a shock we naturally over thought everything! X

I think we are possibly over thinking things as well in a way. The practicalities are hard to ignore in some respects but at the same time I just don't think I could live with myself. I look at my other three and can't imagine life without them but then also look and think this is enough. I'm not feeling in any way maternal but that could equally be because of the shock of it all. I have asked for a referral to check my dates and discuss options but the longer I have to wait the more unsure I become. I have decided not to think about it for a couple of days and see how I feel then. Husband is very much still thinking of the sensible side of things and I would have to agree but again, it's things that can be overcome if needed. Confused.com doesn't even cover it at the moment!