Okay so this is a hard one to write because I feel incredibly stupid..
I've suffered with anxiety and depression on and off that I've never had medication for.. as I'm approaching the end of pregnancy it's getting worse and worse..
Initially you'd think oh maybe it's being induced that causes her stress, or the usual worries of baby not being healthy.. and although I do worry baby will have issues (despite no reasoning) induction doesn't scare me.
Intact I want to be induced ive realised today, as I hit 39 weeks tomorrow, that I am petrified of hitting 40 weeks and beyond. I don't know why but the thought of being that pregnant, I can't breathe. I don't know if it stems from having baby one at 38+1 so maybe I mentally prepared myself for having this one at a similar gestation.
But I'm genuinely fucking terrified of going to my due date and beyond. I'm talking bawling my eyes out, panic attacks terrified.
Other fears include being home alone (with young son) when labour starts and freaking out. Not being able to contact or wake up MIL or OH (lives with her) when the time comes. Having the baby alone at home is another massive fear of mine, plus loads more! But mainly it's going 40+
Who do I call to talk about this with? There's a mental health health visitor I have a number for but I feel she is for once baby has arrived.
My midwife is very flippant about my worries and has even downplayed reduced movements to 'when it's warm they get a bit quiet' so I don't really trust her..
This has nothing to do with labour ward or even day assessment unit and Im not consultant led so I don't have a doctor to talk to...
I'm in pieces here and don't know how I'll get through the next week.
