Devastated and need to pull myself together

[Charlotte1x]

Hi
We received some devastating news yesterday that our cat had died quite tragically and we are still unsure exactly what happened. It’s fair to say that I am absolutely devastated, she wasn’t just a pet she was my little friend and my little baby and we can’t really get closure as to what’s happened to her.
I have pretty much cried all night and struggled to eat for the past 2 days since she went missing. I am 5+5 weeks at the moment and I’m scared about how being this upset is going to be affecting my little bean. I am trying my best to eat something now but I’m struggling and I keep retching, partly from nausea and partly from being upset I think.
How do I pull myself together? I’m now so scared I’m going to lose my baby too but I can’t help but be absolutely devastated. I’m off work today because I couldn’t bring myself to go and I’m just sat here crying. I feel really irrational and hormonal at the moment and I don’t know what to do.
Will this be affecting my baby?

I think you just have to grieve, be easy on yourself and try to eat.

I'm so sorry that happened. Please try not to worry about the pregnancy; your body will protect it, and being sad or having a few days where you don't eat very much is not going to cause a loss. Women with bad pregnancy sickness often go for weeks without eating properly. Be gentle with yourself, maybe try something like soup and have lots of drinks.

It's not going to affect your pregnancy. Sorry about your cat, I have two and I know how much they are part of the family.

It won't be affecting your baby, but you do need to try and look after yourself by making sure you eat etc. I understand the grieving, my Dcat went missing when I was 30 weeks pregnant, I was devastated, and it was the not knowing if he might come home that was harder. It was a good few weeks before I didn't cry every time I came home and he wasn't sat at the door waiting to be let in.

I’m so sorry. I’ve lost cats over the years and it’s always awful. I cried all over the customer services lady in Tesco when taking back boxes of uneaten cat food when my dear 21 year old cat died.
You are likely to be very hormonal and emotional from the pregnancy too, so even more prone to tears.
Take the time to grieve, have a good cry, and don’t worry about your baby- a few days of not eating or hitting the comfort food will not do any harm. You will get through this.
Eventually, you may even be able to face getting another cat. It took me 18 months, but I finally adopted a feisty little character from Cats Protection, and she’s an affectionate little companion now.
Have a hug, and I hope it soon stops hurting so much.

I’m so sorry for your loss
I lost my dog of 13 years in March when I was about 15 weeks pregnant - it was a complete shock also, having 2 weeks prior to his being put to sleep been an absolutely healthy, robust, happy dog with no indication of illness.
I sobbed my heart out for weeks and I still cry regularly when I think or talk about him. It’s completely natural to feel this way and no it won’t be hurting baby. Try if possible to not overthink and analyse - this is what made me very angry and upset in a anxious way, which of course produces cortisone, not the best for us. I’ve learned that it’s better for me to just cry and let it out and be sad when I need to be sad, without the anger and without raising my heart rate, blood pressure etc.

It’s been 4 mths now and I do feel better, I miss him with all my heart but I am focused on getting this baby here happy and healthy and I try to remember my dog for the lovely long years we had together rather than the sad ending.

Take care of urself x

Ah sorry OP - they are just as much a part of our families as humans. Don't beat yourself up about it. Our floof was run over the day before I found out I was pregnant so about 4 weeks. I was devastated. Am now 28 weeks and everything is going fine. Let yourself grieve. You will be ok.

Oh I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is losing a member of the family and is devastating. Let yourself grieve and be kind to yourself. It sounds like she was very lucky to have you in her life. So many animals don't get the love and kindness they deserve, so she was a fortunate little girl x

Thank you everyone for your kind words, it has really helped. The council have been in contact and environmental health collected her yesterday. No idea as to how she passed away though as they said she was unmarked. X

truly sorry to hear about your cat. I have a cat too and have lost others in the past so can totally understand. Don't worry about the grief impacting your baby. I have spent my whole pregnancy with depression, the first few months not diagnosed or medicated and I was a complete wreck most days - hysterical crying, fits of rage, melt downs, arguments, shouting t the top of my lungs, I could barely eat too cos of nausea. However, I am now 36 weeks and the baby has always shown to be healthy and developing normally. So please don't worry too much x